About 3 and a half months I was a happy normal person with no worries at all.
All of a sudden one day I was sitting on my couch watching TV, when the most horrifying thing in the world happened to me.
DEREALIZATION.. SEVERE.. I didnt know what was happening, all of a sudden all of my surroundings slighty twisted into another
dimention. Like a horriffying 3D Cartoon of somesort. I didnt know what to do. I ran around the house having
a nervous bearkdown.
Nauseous,heart pounding,sweating...ext. I thought I was litteraly loosing my mind!
I called my dad balling my eyes out and was barely able to speak. I instantly called the Mental Health Services after I was able
to calm myself down enough to be rational on the phone. I was stressing to the woman how I thought I was going
schizophrenic and needed to speak to a phyciatrist immidiantly. turns out I have to set up a meeting with a
theropist, get evaluated, then off to the phyc. Tomrmented by non stop panic attacks and derealization I finally got into a phyciatrist
2 weeks later. Told him eveything and he diagnosed my with panic disorder.
As time went on I kept feeling worse, with made me
addicted to the computer to try an "self diagnose" because it would take weeks to see the phyc again. That was the WRONG
idea. Completely sent myself into being so afraid that I was turning schizophrenic It was hard for me to do my daily activities.
So either way I made myself another appt. with him...left with the same diagnosis accept this time acompanied with Generalized Anxiety Disorder.
Went home feeling reassured and just thought I needed to relax. Needlessly to say, I got more paniky and more unsure with his
diagnosis, thinking.. Mabey I didn't tell him enough, mabey he is just missing somthing, mabey then I had GAD/ Panic Disorder but now I have schizophrenia...and so on..
I thought mabey he just didnt know what he was talking about. So I took it upon myself to make an appt with a different phyciatrist
for a second opinion. Went to him.. and guess what.. same answer. He sid I was not in any way in the prodromal phase and in no way phycotic.
So now this is were I am today. Sitting here convinced there is somthing seriously wrong with me. I know I have got OCD...its not hard to see.
But the part that kills me is I have done MONTHS of heavy reserch on schizophrenia .. every web page.. every symptom.. every forum
and now I hate myself because I am CONSTANTLY over analyzing every single move I make thinking.. Oh that was a sign!
Or oh no I dont feel like talking to anyone right now.. that means im becoming soicaly withdrawn from sociaty and I'm going to go nut soon!
I know how sick this is.. but I just cant help it.. Its making me loos focus in school and with everyday activiies.
And yes.. I am on medication.
I have been on Celexa for a month now, and I have SEVERE derealization everyday.. which makes me feel like im loosing touch..
and my i have bad memory loss to. Confusion and disorientation. Which are all signs or schizophrenia..
UGGGHH PLEASE HELP I dont know what else to do. I'm so sorry this was such a long post. But I appretiate it tremendously who ever is willing to read through and help me.
Also I have these weird suspisious thoughts, then I'm like OH NO I'm havig a delusion!! I know deep down that I dont beleive these things but then when I try and
reassure myself that I dont beleive these things, my consentration is so bad I cant even focus on what i do beleive, then it makes me
question myself if I actually do beleive it because I cant straighten my mind out well enough to make myself feel any different.
I cry alot because of these problems.
I also start having really bad anxiety when I think of the consept of life. LIKE IN EVERY LITTLE DETAIL. Kids, babies... then we grow old and die.. and thats only the
begining!! Every little aspect of life I over analyze and everything seem soooo strange! Which hieghtens anxiety and derealization.
PLEASE HELP ME.. Is this normal? Am I going completely nuts and SOMEHOW the phyciatrists are missing it? Am I a hypercondriact? I seem to read symptoms then beleive I start having them.. Is that severe ocd/anxiety? Or somthing mental
I sujest after you read some answers that you turn your computer off and go for a walk, breathe... jog, do something to relive your stress, i over analyze things too, its so annoying, but im trying to stop and just live my life. i dont think you have schizophrenia, but the randomness is really odd
I feel almost the exact Same way and it is tormenting! I can't stand it and I've also been to 3 hospitals and three different psychiatrists all just saying the same thing and it drives me nuts. I just want it to stop.
I seriously have the EXACT same problems, granted all mine were triggered by a different circumstance. I fooled around with a drug mind you(I AM NOT A DRUG USER) at all but I think it sent me in a state of panic and ever since which has been about 5 months ago I have panic attacks, I have moments where I'll be driving and I start getting blurry visioned and feelings as if my brain is failing. My doctor's told me it's just anxiety, but like you I didn't believe him or my mom or anyone because I just didn't think anxiety could do this to someone. I never pictured anxiety like this ! Just wondering have u gotten any better since?? please let me know. I feel like im going crazy sometimes and have looked into schizophrenia and lots of other options and try and diagnose myself but then try and talk myself back out of it.. its exhausting!!
Sometimes calling 911 is the best thing to convence the mental health comunity that your illness is real. I went to get help because of my illness. They sent me away hearing and fighting voices they said it was stress. I opened my hands like a calling to god and fell flat on my back and I said "Do as ye will" smiling bei g hassled byvoices they couldnt hear. They imediatly took me in. Threated me kindly and I let them know what was going on in my head and I talked loudly for them to hear me speaking to them. I was diagnosed as schizophranic. If I didnt fall out and give in to humilliation. Those voices would of got the best ofme. I take meds now and stable. Call 911 and let them see it. Dont hold back and try to be normal let them see it. It will save your life. Embracing the clown saved my life.