I've been married to my hubby for 2 yrs. and dated for 1. He pushed for marriage after only 4 mos. I didn't want it, but he pulled the old "marry me or we're over". From the beginning, he said he was not sexual, because he had phimosis, which caused tearing on his penis when hard, but could still perfom ok...only when the extreme need hit him. I understood this completely. Since we've been together, he's had to undergo an emergency circumcision and now can enjoy sex more freely. While sex isn't everything, it is an important bonding time that I enjoy.
However, since then, I've found semi-nude photos of a woman on his cell that he'd left me to play games with while he was at work and I was waiting for him. I felt guilty for coming across them and he blamed me for finding them, because they were from an old friend that he "owed" a favor of drawing his wife for him. Since then, my intuition has been working overtime and I found several websites soliciting sex from TV/TG and gay, as well as women, that he was recently visiting.
All of this was after I'd attempted to discuss this with him and he explained it off as this being so long ago and not realizing that the "last visited" was visible to members checking out his profile.
My problem is that while I realize we each have our own pasts, he makes me feel like I'm making sex everything. I'm resentful because while it isn't, his profiles indicate a completely different attitude than what he's shares with me. I've had no problems attracting young and old both women and men (not that I want either), but I'm not unattractive. I've tried setting the mood, discussing wants, needs, desires and fantasies, but he changes the subject and says all I think about is sex. I feel very unattractive and unwanted, especially after finding CD's of his in our combined case of him with older women attempting to make a personal tape. He even situates us while having sex so he can watch Big Bang Theory and other shows....ok, that's pretty funny but not really because it's me.
Sorry for the long dissertation, but the only way to understand I suppose is to give the background. Any advice would be extremely appreciated. Please feel free to ask me for my email, if you experience similar or want to share more.
there is only one anwer to your question love or no love if there is no love there is no chance but if you love him there is hope only you can decide this think carefully as once you have decided there is no turning back