Sorry to bother everyone - but I feel like this is the best place for me to just express my problem and possibly get a little help. My story is a bit long winded and complicated but any advice given would be brilliant.
Basically, I knew I was bisexual even before going to university but I've never done anything about it, I've just kept it quiet, not that I am ashamed of it, it's just that nobody has ever asked me before.
I met this girl during my course introduction and just fell head over heels in love with her and I still am now. We spent months talking to each other, going to the pub, going on nights out with eachother but none of us knew that we were both bi until a couple months after Christmas when she got too drunk to come out for a friends birthday and was too ill to walk home so she crashed in my flat. I was slightly drunk too and we just had one of those drunken conversations. For some reason we got onto the topic of me kissing her room mate who was a guy and she admitted she was jealous. I just assumed she liked the guy but soon realised it was me when she kissed me. It just felt right. We eventually started going out but the whole time she wasn't brave enough to go out in public, her family is very religious and wouldn't approve which was ashame. I started to love her more and more each day and couldn't stop thinking about her. I can't stop thinking about her now. But as months went by arguements would happen every night we went out because of her guy roommate still liking me. It wasn't long until I realised he was just as mad about me as I was about her and she just didn't feel comfortable being with me because of it. So many arguements happened over it because she remembers me saying I liked him. It's true I did and still do slightly now - but it will never ever be as much as I like her. It was after an arguement where her whole flat got involved as another guy roommate in her flat likes her told her that me and this guy were getting really close in a club (which was a lie) made her defeated. She said she was sorry but nobody was allowing this relationship to happen. We split up and I was and still am completely devastated. Although we broke up she was messing with my head - we still spent atleast I would say about 70% of the day with one another everyday because I practically lived in her flat and in that time she would still kiss me, flirt with me and when we'd stop kissing she would simply go "Yeah.. we shouldn't do that" it made my heart sink every time. We might have broke up but she's still the first person I think about everyday, every hour just all the time and it's eating my brain away. I can't stop thinking about her. What's worst is she now acts like nothing ever happened that we are best friends nothing else, she's also started talking to other guys and it just makes my mind sick. She tells me so casually that I should try and make things happen with the guy who really liked me then, but now he's starting to like someone else now the damage is done. I do still like this guy but after all the arguements and messing around I don't think he wants me and would rather go with the easier option.
I just want to know if anybody has ever been in a position like this. How can I keep her as a bestfriend and not have feelings like that for her? How can I move on? I just need someone to talk to. I can't talk to her about this even if she's my bestfriend because I've already tried to and it just ends up in arguements. I just needed to express myself and have someone to talk to.
Thanksfor reading xx
I think that she is not that into you like you are into her. Maybe she released it's not what she needs or she is jealous but you can't be that jealous that you can't discuss it like normal person. There is no other reason why she is acting like nothing happened and not trying to resolve the problem. That's my opinion but people are strange and they don't act by the formulas.