Is it just being in the shower stall or are you refusing bath also?

I can't even go in the bathtub... Nothing... It's messed up...

hi mizz manna xo...

you have anxiety issues and anxiety issues (like panic attacks) are famous for making phobias.

being as it is, you have to continue to fight the inclination for your brain to create a new phobia constantly (my guess).

there are a couple of things you have going for you. 1) you have taken showers ALL YOUR LIFE without consequence. 2) you know and understand that this is an irrational fear.

here's what i would do, and i'm no-body, i don't have any special knowledge, etc. just my 2 cents.

go in the bathroom at your house. get naked. turn the shower on. put an arm (up to your elbow) in the shower. consider it a victory and stop.

next day, put an arm and a leg up to your knee.

next day, wash your arm up to your elbow and your knee down to your foot.

keep doing this type of thing until you get a little more and a little more of your body in the shower.

don't expect it to be easy. it won't be. it will be hard and you are likely to panic like HELL, but remember all the time, that this (showering) will not hurt you. it has never hurt you and that's that.

i had a roomate who had severe panic issues and this is the approach she took when she had a phobia of leaving the house. this is what she did to just get to the parking lot to the mail box. it took her a few days, but was well worth it. now she can go out and go to the grocery store, go to work, etc. she still has big problems (so it doesn't work perfectly) but guess what?! she can go out now and she couldn't before.

if you'd like for me to be your pal and encourage you, i'll be glad to.

good luck!
jasmine

Thank you so much. I hope that will work. It's just I feel so pressured even going pee by the bathtub. Ugh... We'll see how it goes...

Ablutophobia
The Fear of Washing or Bathing

Ablutophobia, defined as the fear of washing, bathing and cleaning is an intense fear that poses no or little danger. Just thinking about bathing could cause a number of symptoms such as: breathlessness, dizziness, excessive sweating, nausea, dry mouth, feeling sick, shaking, heart palpitations, inability to speak or think clearly, a fear of dying, becoming mad or losing control, a sensation of detachment from reality or even an anxiety attack. Most people who are suffering from the phobia are surprised when they find out that they aren't alone. Ablutophobia is surprisingly common. It is caused by the mind as a protective mechanism. From some point in the past there was a traumatic event linking with washing, bathing or cleaning. It could have also been formed from a realistic scare or even from movies, TV or seeing someone else experience trauma. Some people who suffer experience it all the time and some others experience it in just direct situations.
Not only does it effect your health and quality of life but, Ablutophobia can have a severe effect on anyone that works or is in school; living with the fear can make it hard to concentrate on something and fully give your best. Ablutophobia can cause a loss of tens to hundreds of thousands of dollars over the course of your lifetime due to lost opportunities, poor performance or grades, or promotions that pass you by.
There are two different treatments for Ablutophobia; the ever popular temporarily suppress the phobia with potent, prescribed medicine, and therapy, self-help treatment.