I'm 17 and still at school. I'm having social problems that, if I'm honest I don't even know if they actually exist? I worry I'm paranoid but convinced I'm not at the same time. Either way, they have been causing me to feel almost permanently down for a year and a half now. I can really explain it properly and lack the desire to explain it properly I feel like I can't. But, a couple of weeks ago I wrote a poem one night (it was re-reading it today that made me think it's time I seeked some form of help).

It’s as though there’s no connection for me
To see the friendships that used to be,
But why’d they go? I worked hard, they weren’t free.
Yet now they slip for no reason

More rip shows each season,
Yet they’re damaged. Why damaged?
Is this real are they teasing?
The fall has been long and drawn out

First one, then two as they mount.
But I did nothing wrong it’s not like I was mean,
Cus now no-one listens, no-one cares, I’m not seen.
I used to have fun, inside jokes, playful banter,

With girls and blokes, but now it’s not the same
No more laughter in my game, socialising’s such drain.
I feel they don’t involve me when they plan,
I’m outsided, forgotten, they exclude me when they can.

But I used to be so close, how’d it get to this?
How’d it break like this? How’s it end like this?
Tired, so very tired, trying to make it work,
Looking for an answer, a gimic, a quirk,

But nope, never, nothing ever comes good,
I hope, sometime, things go back as they should.
I feel cheated, resentful, remorsed and lonely,
They cohorsed by someone? Sadly no, if only.

They know what they’re doing, as well as do I.
I don’t wish to moan, give up, I’ll never cry.
Yet sometimes the weight is more than I can bare,
Remembering friendships with people who no longer care.


Is this a normal point in my life? Will I come through it? Should I make an appointment?