Hi, I practised a little bit of a meditative technique, only a couple of times, where I focused on not allowing thoughts to intrude into my mind. But ever since that time, this has become a permanent state. My mind is blank (no thoughts whatsoever) all the time... when I'm talking to people, when I talk, when I'm doing anything at all... unless I consciously make the effort to think of thoughts. Otherwise, my mind is blank. I often experience periods of time where, while I am blank, I forget what I’m doing and become unaware of my surroundings, or when I am trying to do two things at once and I automatically stop doing one thing while doing the other. I can’t multitask. I can only focus on one thing at once. I feel like I'm not 100% present or awake or attentive or alert. My mind is clear of thoughts but I feel like my mind is quite foggy/blurry. I often am at a loss for things to say and am bereft of ideas. The results of a neuropsych test showed that my speed of thinking was slowed down.
Recently, I had a first episode psychosis, and my memory has degraded since then. But the mind blankness began 3-4 years ago.
I recently had an EEG done and everything was normal (so I know it's not epilepsy)except: I was conscious during the test but the results show that I had fallen asleep. I have also had a CT and MRI and everything was normal.
Is what I’m experiencing normal? Is this good? Can anyone tell me what this is? A permanent meditative state? Permanent trance? Permanent daydreaming? Does anyone else experience this?
That's interesting, those links. I'm not sure I understand all that is in there, apart from the fact that I am a very spiritual person and have recently been on a journey of self-discovery. The information sounds a little like buddhism and other religions though. I suppose it is positive in that I had many benefits of concentration/intelligence with an empty mind, but that was before I became ill, so the negative effects could have been a result of my illness instead. I dont know.
This sounds so much like what I'm going through. It's terrifying for me, because I have such a hard time interacting, communicating with, and being with people. My mind is so still, I feel like I have no views or opinions to share. It doesn't seem to respond with thought to any stimulation... If you find out anything about what might be causing this sort of thing, please post it. I'm feeling pretty desperate for answers.
Wow! I actually just googled this because I thought this is sort of how I feel. I can really find myself in your posts. I've had 1 heavy psychosis and 2 mild psychosisses over the past 3 years. Afther my first on (the heavy) I recovered quickly. But now it's become different.
Although i also feel like I have an ounce of positive energy left I also feel like alot of my "inner flame" or something has died out..
I feel blank minded very often and when I'm not blank minded my mind can sometimes mess me up on the inside. I get excactly the opposite i feel very restless, like I "must" gotta think constantly this urge is really strong. Sometimes I can somehow go back to blank because that is better.
The most stressfull part is that I feel like I'm socially numb or something. I still go out and I've really put in effort to keep my friends but it's different somehow, less natural.
PS: I also have a lot of anxiety when I meet new people, to an unhealthy extent, did have normal anxiety before sometimes...
I've been experiencing a pretty similar state of being. I particularly started to notice the difference in my mind after a long battle with Severe-Extreme Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, so I attributed the blank feeling to great amounts of mental stress along with the connections in my brain being rewritten by the OCD.
But now that I've gotten rid of my OCD, I want to fix this terrible vacant mental listlessness. I miss having more initiative, coming up with interesting new ideas, and being able to easily daydream and ponder.
If anyone has any ideas or suggestions of what can be done, please talk about it.
Recently, I've been trying to concentrate on creative endevours, trying to pull out some of my dormant mental abilities. At least, I hope they're just dormant. I'm only eighteen. I know that sounds selfish, as if my age should garner more concern, but I am hoping my creative energies didn't peak at age 15.
Anyway, if anyone has any information about this disjointed, void-like mental feeling, please let us know.
I experience this too (although not quite to the extent that you do) and it has been happening since a little before I had my first psychosis. I think it's possible that it is related to the psychosis because some symptoms do come on before the more noticeable psychotic ones.
The same problem occured for me, a blank mind, and difficulty remembering things, long-term or short-term, when I got 4 nights of consequetive no-sleep, and had a severe panic attack. I now have panic attacks because I sense this blankness. I basically feel dead inside, whereas before, I felt euphorically alive. It probably can be regained but I feel it would take alot of retraining of the mind, and alot of money and time. I believe the root cause of this is anxiety. Perhaps if we get our anxiety under control we can begin to think with our right brains.
Fuzzwuzz - Quite honestly, I'm shocked. Without an ounce of exaggeration, I can say that your initial post is my EXACT situation. Every word. Has been since I remember. I have never heard anyone express this, and thought I was just unique, weird, or plain crazy - and alone. Thank you for sharing. I wish to the Gods, I had answers. Just know you certainly are not alone. I hope someone has the answers, here...it is very stressful, claustrophobic, and for me - strongarms me into a marginal existence, against what I desire and know I can be. I am starving and desperate to LIVE, rather than merely survive.
I am suffering from the same thing since last 7 year's and it all started after practicing meditation . . . It's very difficult situation to deal with . If anyone know any remedy to deal w/th this then please share . .
some other facts, if you have liver problems like portal hypertation, the mind slows down(you do not think fast) and often feels confused and sense words less which can lead to feeling not normal and harder to get along with.
I'm going through same situation.Even I can't think on something,I dont want to meet and communicate people outside.I never wanted to talk to someone I've to stress myself to answer some question.I can't find things pleasing that were ever source of happiness for me.
I am desperate to enjoy life , please help me out
The root cause of all these problems is lack of faith .
i was also suffering from same desease but now healing i was muslim but only by name and i found it was bec of my sins ie mastrbate ,hitting girls etc
but now after i connect with God my problems are automatically solving day by day .
So be a Muslim all problems will be solved and people by suffring u come to know what is the problem.
Wow, zenandnow - I had signed in to do something else, and came across your response here... I know it's old, but it's not unusual for forum posts to take time leaps. I'm sorry - but I have to speak up, on this. I mean no disrespect, and I'm sure you didn't either...
If you've manipulated yourself into embracing this issue as a positive - don't let me spoil it for you. But it is pretty clear from the others, and I can say with certainty, for myself - that this is NOT a positive experience! It is certainly far from "peace". To be able to clear the mind, relax and think of nothing, is a state to be entered by CHOICE. And for a given period of time. Then - it is a positive experience. But most of us are disconcerted by not being able to be in control of our own faculties; not being able to focus, concentrate, remember, and THINK. Things life actually requires. There's a reason we have brains. And activity is a GOOD thing. Everything in its balance.
Most people don't find a drone's life, appealing. Most people don't want a head as empty as an alcoholic's bottle. It is like being imprisoned in one's own mind, or like being forcefully drugged all the time. It can actually be straight up torturous, at times. I would have been able to better appreciate your two cents, there - if it didn't strike so naive, and approach insult to those of us who suffer this every day. Escapism and denial, are not my cups of tea; I actually want to be ACTIVE and live vibrantly, in the world. That is the genuine nature of Life: to move, express, create... And you can't, unless your mind is functioning. Simple as that.
I'm a daily practitioner of meditation, and this blankness is an inevitable phase, but also the hardest phase to "understand". This is what Buddhists and Taoists called the void. The phase before the void is detachment, which I usually illustrate using a beautiful metaphor. You're calmly sitting on the bank of a flowing river. That river is your thought process and you let it flow without trying to control it. You're detaching from good thoughts and bad thoughts alike, and in doing so, these dualities merge into one. You're accepting and embracing yourself with utmost self-love and existential appreciation. You become everything, and you "live" in the present moment instead of being submerged in expectations of the future or regrets of the past.
Now this phase transitions to the void with further meditation, deeper mindfulness, and a separation of the metaphors from the actual things (think Plato's allegory of the cave). As I've mentioned before, dualities disappear and everything becomes one. This is highly evident in the relationship between mind and body. Many people believe they are separate since they believe the soul leaves the vessel at death. Amongst this group are people who believe that only the mind matters and they disregard the body. This is a common misconception and has been debunked by yogis and monks alike. I believe that you don't have this misconception. In fact, your mind and body have become one to such an extent that you are no longer "aware" of your thought processes because the differentiation is not as obvious and detectable.
It would be arrogant of me to say I know exactly what you're feeling and thinking, but I'll try my best to offer different solutions that encompass different types of the void, and we can work from there:
1. Phases are not permanent.
Do not worry. This phase is NOT permanent, and just as suddenly as meditation has taken you there, meditation will take you away from it. The phases of the "detachment river" and the "void" are not chronological in any way. They are merely tools we can access in our infinite minds to heighten awareness and such. When people move from the river to the void, they don't stop the river. They simply become it. So the question is: How can a river become aware of itself when its very flow permits its existence? The answer is simple: Go back to the bank. In this transitioning phase, you peel away from being the river to being the observer at the bank. Thoughts will begin to trickle drop by drop, and finally *release* into the beautiful river. Concentrate on a single thought like a color (ex: red), or an object with that color (ex: meadow of roses). Extend the duration of that concentration over time (ex: 1 min to 5 min to 15 min, etc.). Once you've "mastered" that, add another thought (ex: a blue sky above the meadow of red roses). And so on.
The Mushin mentioned by 'zenandnow' is the equivalent of "being in the moment" during a video game, sport, or physical activity. During this moment, you're in beast mode and dominating your activity. This ties back into the "breaking the differentiation" concept I had mentioned previously. Doing something exciting, physically demanding, reflex demanding, and physically stimulating will undoubtedly help you identify your body again. Once you "feel" your body, your mind is "separated" again. I want to place great emphasis on "stimulation". If you're not sweating and panting, you're not stimulating your body enough. Try three games of basketball, either full court or half court. Do this consistently and make a routine. Once your awareness of your body increases, so will your awareness of your mind. In addition, your reflexes will be a temporary substitute for quick thoughts, which will create an amazing foundation for natural thought processes. This stimulation concept may be the reason why martial arts are often incorporated into meditative practices like Buddhism and Taoists (look at Shaolin Kungfu and TaiChi), so that they become in tune with nature and their own energies without losing awareness of the mind and body.
Love someone. Express love for someone. Receive love from someone. Cuddle with a dog or cat. Listen and love music. Love is very powerful.
Lastly, I would like to point out that your situation WILL be solved. There is absolutely no doubt that it is only temporary. You must understand that this is just a phase of your infinite journey. Something we all struggle with is the turmoil between AMBITION and CONTENTMENT. Of course, contentment seems to be this amazing thing where we're appreciating everyone and everything around us. BUT, this contentment is selfish because our sole duty should be helping others less fortunate than us obtain a better standard of living (moving up Maslow's social hierarchy of needs). It's also selfish because we're fortunate enough not to be born in a war-torn country where we witness the inhumane atrocities and deaths of our loved ones. Thus, AMBITION becomes an important element in our lives, and this AMBITION requires the mind and body to work together as a team in a harmonious relationship.
In a truly harmonious relationship:
"Two halves don't make a whole. Two wholes make a whole."
In other words, the mind shouldn't change itself for the body. And the body shouldn't change itself for the mind. They work together, not against each other.