I have very similar situation with my boyfriend. And i can not find solution as well.
I am studying part time and working full time with just one day free.We live together at my place.And i feel i do not want anything from him except hugs and cuddling. I feel that i love him very much.We spoke about it and relied on time (that everything can improove by itself)...It lusts for about 8 months now and he began to speak to me like it is all my fault and that i make him feel pain(physically).I would like to change everything and to return better times,but can not deal with myself.We end up by having 1-2 intercourses per week(the best),or in 2 - 3 weeks usually.But i feel that i has to do it for him without natural desire.Could anyone,who went throughout similar situation and managed to work it out to wright about it please ???? Or any advise from a doctor please??? Thanks

Not sure if you may have this but I have vestibular vestitus. This caused me painful sex for months and I too was like you. I was depressed and angry. It was really hard on my hubby and I and we were trying for a baby. I saw 5 different doctors before one finally listened and helped. All the rest said it was a mental block, I was too dry, or we weren’t having enough foreplay. I KNEW that wasn’t the case but they wouldn’t listen. Finally my PCP remember a colleage that she studied under…he specialized in the Vulva. He was 1 out of 3 doctors here on the west coast. I had to pay out of pocket but it was so worth it.

Turns out my body wasn’t getting enough estrogen. Birth control uses progestrine, this robbed my body of what it really needed. The vestibule is where the hymen would be and it relies on estrogen to remain healthy and strong. If there isn’t enough then it gets irritated and cut. That’s the burning you feel….its right at the entrance. I was put on estrogen cream for 3 months. IT WORKED !!! I no longer have painful sex…the only downside is that I cant use hormonal B/C without the risk of it happening again. Its been over a year and I have never had those issues again.

So look for a doctor that has experience with the Vulva…not just a regular gyno. I saw 4 Gyno before anyone told me anything. I can pm or email you some very helpful info so you can get started on finding a good doc. Don’t worry ladies…someone out there does know the answer. Don’t give up.

Thank you so much Rosie for that response. I thought I was going crazy. I am seeing a new doctor in a couple of weeks. I want my regular home life back with my honey. PS, but I am not on birth control.

I totally understand..it sure hurts your self esteem huh? I felt useless and frustrated. It wasnt that I didnt desire my husband it was that I couldnt do it. It hurt so bad I would cry. Then some
Sometimes I would do it anyway and be in so much pain afterward. That would make Daniel feel bad, then he was always scared of hurting me…Awwww just thinking about it makes me angry…lol. It could be a hormone thing or you could have other things going on. Good luck! Hang in there. My doc told me to use Crisco during sex. This was when I was pregnant and couldn’t use estrogen. (We did manage to get pregnant while I was on the cream) Use the lard form. I never tried it, but you could until you see a doc. Sounds funny but its completely safe.