I'd have to say a paternity test is always fair. If you're the biological father, you owe money up the wazoo for 18 years or longer, no matter what (a lot more than it actually costs to raise kids when you're married to the mother, and have a household together.) I think it's fair to make sure the kid is really your progeny, if there is any room for doubt, and then if s/he is, you should be a man and pony up. If the kid isn't yours, then it's optional. Sorry. Go after the biological father.

How is paternity determined? Do they do blood work from the baby? I realize it is done with DNA, just not certain all the steps involved.

I am talking about a woman, a good woman who loved her husband. To be honest, there is no doubt in my mind this child belongs to the father.

This is just one more example of his ability to retaliate against her when she finally said enough, they were finished, and he wanted out of their marriage leaving her three months pregnant.

It seems to me that 14 years in a marriage is a big investment, emotionally, spiritually and in all ways.

I know this man. He will bail at the first opportunity. My question to you is if you force the mother and child into this testing, and it comes back that you are indeed the father (I believe he is but he says he can't be because he didn't ejaculate inside her even though I have tried to explain the 29% pregnancy rate with pre-ejaculate), how will this in the end effect his chance of a relationship with his son. He has already abandoned this baby six months before he was born. I see this as very bad karma.

I don't understand quite what your asking. You think the mother should NOT test? To my knowledge, this "man" is highly irresponsible regardless of if this baby is his or not. What if it is his child, you can't leave him as is and have the mother suffer the life of single parenthood for the years to come. He should be tested, and if proven that he is the father of the child, he should be taken to court and forced to pay for his child's wellbeing.

The way I see it, he already ended his relationship with his son since he decided to stick his penis in the baby's mother and decided to leave her after that. If he already abandoned it, he needs to be tested to prove and pay for his irresponsibility.

As Marvel has said, I am always the one to hold out for the hope of a good outcome. That came crashing down yesterday when I was told by friends, long time friends, of both the mother and the father of this baby boy.

This baby boy looks exactly like his father. So kind of gets that duck in order. Next, the truth is the mother has said leave her alone with her two kids. No child support, just leave them alone. Not good enough for this guy. I believe that he wants revenge upon her for finally saying it is over between them. What do I know? It is up to them.

He claims she is crazy, everybody is crazy, not him. Well, the Sheriff was called and the Helicopter came out too when he beat her up whilst pregnant. Broke out every window in their beautiful new home. She is scared of him. I would be.

Now, you can look at this as maybe she lied, which he says she did, or maybe he lied. She is the one who got a restraining order on him. Her mother too.

Your question is a valid one. I am just saying there is no way that woman would have cheated on him. And, there is no way she would have torn up their home breaking out the windows with a 5 year old in the house. This laundry just doesn't come out being clean. This is a very intelligent, hard working woman who built that home. Why would she have destroyed it breaking out the windows, for goodness sakes, knowing glass could be flying everywhere and her pregnant. Let alone, all the hassle of dealing with the insurance people. She had to move out of the home into another home her parent's had on the property for two weeks for the replacement of the windows.

You are right about the sticking in penis thing. He doesn't think. And, doesn't take responsibility. He has said he will always have a relationship with his children.

And, you are right, he ended his relationship with his son a long time ago. Life seems to repeat itself, especially in this man's case.

Thank you for your intelligent response.

Bobbie

I think he has to pay for it if he wants it done.

I know it is through DNA, but don't they have to pull a blood sample from the baby, the mother and the father?

This baby has already had to undergo heart surgery only one day old and born at 4 pounds. He was born a blue baby. Airlifted to a hospital specializing in pediatric heart surgery.

I am sure the mother will hate the father until the end of time if he subjects this baby to that. He claims he couldn't have gotten her pregnant because they used the pull out method. Please. Anybody with half a brain knows that is no method at all. 29% of pregnancies are a result of using pull out.

She has gone back to work and her mother takes care of the children. He has found out where she is working, so it appears he is into knowing her whereabouts. Can't come onto their property because she got a restraining order against him.

Sad story all the way around.

jezz this guy sounds like a real creep! I hope your not still seeing him!

I finally got to the point I couldn't deal with him and his problems anymore. I spent nearly two years trying to help this guy see he had a good life and a wife who loved him, a beautiful little girl, too.

They say you can love folly in a child and that was what he was. He always said he was unhappy, but I would say what about his wife and little girl's happiness. We are talking about a child who only wants that piece of candy for the moment. It is their lives and they alone can live them.

There is new management for me and I am thankful that I don't have to have him on my property. Things are working out well and they are good workers.

This man is a real user. His wife's parents put him through college, helped them with their new home, all of it. Now he has talked his new GF's brother into buying him an expensive tractor for his work. He would ask me for expensive gifts, like a BMW or my Jeep and I told him no. He honestly expected it. Think that is how he gets through life.

Actually, I feel a great relief at seeing the end of him.

It is the baby that I am concerned about. They said the baby didn't seem to have the will to live. I guess when you know that you are inside your mother's womb and your father doesn't want you, you know that. His mother is loving and strong and I am sure he will make it with the family's love and support. The father says he cares, but actions speak louder than words.

Bobbie