Broken Hearted Forum - Past relationship getting in the way.

Relationships > Broken Hearted Forum > Past relationship getting in the way.

Q: Past relationship getting in the way.

asked by: wiz981 on April 4th, 2009

New User

I am 20 years old. And, I have had feelings for this classmate of mine(she is 2 months younger than me) for 8 months now. She considers me to be a good & trustworthy friend & few week ago finally confessed that even she has some feelings for me.
However, this girl had a very serious relation with a guy when she was 17. They were about to get married & but her family did not agree so the guy came over to her place & quarreled with her infront of her family. All in all it was a bad break-up. However, after 3 years she is still broken hearted about it & from time to time comes with many fears & insecurities about how things are going with us.

For example, yesterday she told me that she will never be able to love me the way i love her - because she has lost that kind of feelings for anyone.
She is a very emotional & sensitive person, & does not have a strong willpower. Maybe that is the reason she is still having feelings for him after 3 years.
But, how can i have a future with her if she is always going to be like this? What can I or anyone do to help her come out of this situation? Won't she ever heal completely?

Replies(2)

worrywart01

replied on April 5th, 2009

Extremely eHealthy

Your first love will always have a special place in your heart...its really hard to get over..but its been 3 years..if she still hasn't let go then thats a problem...I dont think theres anything YOU can do personally to help her...everyone always says "time heals"..well in this case..its been 3 years and shes STILL not over it...I'm not sure what to tell you..and if I were you..I would not want to devote myself entirely to someone thats never going to be satisfied with me...no offense but its been 3 years..let it go already..you have to live your life and not dwell on the past

ServiceU

replied on May 5th, 2009

Supporter

i been with a guy for 5 years and he was in love with his ex for 2 1/2 years of that. at the end of our relationship he said he was hurt so much that it was hard for him to love me. this caused so much hurt and pain.the difference is he told me at the end of our relationship, this chick told you in the beginning what your getting yourself into.
dont put yourself through that! they do have to heal, and maybe it'll take her longer.
she might not have feelings for him, she's probably carrying around a lot of hurt & feel negative towards relationships.

that's my problem, it's been 2 years since ive been in that horrible relationship. and i still have a negative view of men. i can fall in love with a good man, but i have problems with trust, marriage, and kids.

Learn About Us

Get Help

Join In

Do More

We comply with the HONcode standard for trustworthy health
information:
verify here.

The site is not a replacement for professional medical opinion, examination, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your medical doctor or other qualified health professional before starting any new treatment or making any changes to existing treatment. Do not delay seeking or disregard medical advice based on information written by any author on this site. No health questions and information on eHealth Forum is regulated or evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration and therefore the information should not be used to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease without the supervision of a medical doctor. Posts made to these forums express the views and opinions of the author, and not the administrators, moderators, or editorial staff and hence eHealth Forum and its principals will accept no liabilities or responsibilities for the statements made. Schizophrenia health sitemap.
This page was last updated on January 1, 2009.
© 2008 eForums, Inc