Medical Questions > Conditions and Diseases > HIV and AIDS Forum

partners hiv positive

Must Read
Do you know what causes HIV? Get started by learning the facts on HIV and AIDS here....
Do you know what puts you at high risk of HIV? Debunk the myths and get the facts of HIV risk factors here....
Can you identify early HIV symptoms. Learn what to look for and when to seek medical help as we review symptoms of HIV here....
i am very concerned i found out today my boyfriend is hiv positive.we have been together for 5 years and have unprotected sex due to the fact he told me he tested negative a few months before we started dating.I am waiting on my results and i am scared.I know that magic johnsons wife was positive.thanks
Did you find this post helpful?
|

User Profile
replied May 14th, 2008
Community Volunteer
That is the thing about relationships. We have a tenancy to want to believe the ones we love and to risk our lives by doing so. I have had AIDS for many years and I am doing fine with meds and exercise and rest. It is not a death sentence. I am concerned that your boyfriend is not being honest with you. How long has he known he was HIV+ and why did he wait to tell you? Something is not adding up here. Never have unprotected sex no matter what. It isn't any ones responsibility to protect your health except your own. Stop having unprotected sex just because someone tells you they are STD free...many people lie threw omission or slat out lie to your face just because they are horney...
The decision is yours and yours alone as to whether you want to stay with him after this. When did you get tested? How long has he been positive? You both need to go to the doc together and discuss this situation. if you stay together you need to seek counseling from a professional.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied May 14th, 2008
Supporter
Homerx.
Crying or Very sad This is a sad affair. It is not an excuse but I think the man was afraid of rejection. Fear of stigma and discrimination. I was in that guy's shoes in the beginning of my diagnosis. If someone did not protect themselves, I would not say anything. It took a while and possibly many infections for me to get out of that habit.

I did not see how HIV was spread through sex. Like I didn't get it. Until I read about little cuts and tears happening during sex becoming ways into the bloodstream. My doctor told me to eat well and have fun and so I did. He didn't say protect yourself nothing. So between the ignorance period and when I became knowledgeable, I made serious mistakes...

I thought just they said don't have sex before marriage, I thought they had created another thing to frighten me more. I was 24 years old in Kenya and no Internet encounter. Rather, I was in the dark homerx.

That is why I admire somebody like Aka1971 coming out and reaching out for help. yes

I found two of the men from Kenya here on the Internet and they forgave me. I don't know if they have it or not.

People in the guy's position have low self worth but that is not an excuse. It is a reality though.

Fear is the main reason this man did not come out. The same reason I had refused to tell people that I had AIDS. Only Jessy knew and my doctor. Some people at work suspected...

I got educated and beat the ignorance. But I was there. Embarassed

I think Magic Johnson's wife is negative.

If one has good lubrication, no cuts and tears will occur in the vagina membrane and so no infection. My brother's wife died of AIDS and my brother never got it.

Fingers crossed for Aka71.

Always
Muthoni (Mson)
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied May 14th, 2008
Community Volunteer
Mson, as usual...you are right...but if the man was afraid of rejection does that give him the right to infect some one with HIV or any other STD? If you love some one how can you not be forthcoming about your HIV status? That is hard for me to accept but I know it happens. I could never have sex with some one, especially some one I loved, and not inform them before hand about my status...people are all different. I guess it is up to the individual to protect them self no matter what there partner tells them.
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied May 14th, 2008
Supporter
homerx wrote:
Mson, as usual...you are right...but if the man was afraid of rejection does that give him the right to infect some one with HIV or any other STD? If you love some one how can you not be forthcoming about your HIV status? That is hard for me to accept but I know it happens. I could never have sex with some one, especially some one I loved, and not inform them before hand about my status...people are all different. I guess it is up to the individual to protect them self no matter what there partner tells them.


I could never imagine being in a situation like this. There has to be so many emotions involved (anger, fear, resentment, distrust, etc)-the OP must be really overwhelmed by this time.

I would take a step back and re-evaluate this relationship. You've been together for 5 years but he doesn't have the decency to tell you that he is HIV positive? I am confused. If I loved someone that much to devote 5 years of my life to them, I wouldn't want to put them in harm's way by not telling them the risk.

What are you going to do if you are positive? Do you have a plan of action? Just know that you have support either way!
Like homerx said, HIV positive is NOT a death sentence! Peace
|
Did you find this post helpful?
Users who thank Marianne0558 for this post: homerx 

User Profile
replied May 14th, 2008
Supporter
Homerx.
homerx wrote:
Mson, as usual...you are right...but if the man was afraid of rejection does that give him the right to infect some one with HIV or any other STD? If you love some one how can you not be forthcoming about your HIV status? That is hard for me to accept but I know it happens. I could never have sex with some one, especially some one I loved, and not inform them before hand about my status...people are all different. I guess it is up to the individual to protect them self no matter what there partner tells them.


Homerx,

You are right. Fear of rejection does not mean that one has the right to infect another. It is just something that is. People are still infecting others knowingly. They don't value themselves so it is hard to value another. That is why I teach about self worth.

I really commend you for your stand in this issue. You are one of the few Homerx. You are sensible while most of us are not.

It does take two to tangle.

Always
Muthoni (Mson)
|
Did you find this post helpful?
Users who thank Muthoni for this post: homerx 

User Profile
replied May 14th, 2008
Community Volunteer
We both have valid points I think...it is complicated, people are complicated...
|
Did you find this post helpful?
Users who thank homerx for this post: Muthoni 

User Profile
replied May 14th, 2008
Supporter
Homerx.
We are both very honest about this.

Mson
|
Did you find this post helpful?
Users who thank Muthoni for this post: homerx 

User Profile
replied May 14th, 2008
Community Volunteer
Thank God for that...
|
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied May 14th, 2008
Supporter
Yes!
Thank God that He forgives us and so we forgive others. What I always wonder is if others have forgiven me. Confused

Muthoni (Mson)
|
Did you find this post helpful?
Users who thank Muthoni for this post: homerx 

User Profile
replied May 14th, 2008
Community Volunteer
I know, I wonder that myself...but forgiving yourself is the most important and learning to forgive...I am still working on that!
|
Did you find this post helpful?