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partner takes ages, vagina gets loose

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Hi Everyone

I have been seeing a new guy for a while now and we've having sex. He's great and I like him a lot but we're having a few challenges with sex.

The first being he gets anxiety so he takes lexapro which works well as when he takes it he doesn't get the anxiety attacks. But one of the side effects can be it makes it difficult for him to orgasm.

The second thing is that he's a bit bigger. Not massive, just bigger than the last couple of partners I had and needed a slightly bigger condom.

The third thing is that.... I guess I've not really had this, but after my bf is having sex with me for a while my vagina loses some feeling and feels a bit 'looser'. Which isn't good for me, and I don't think it's good for him.

What this results in is basically having the be-jesus shagged out of me and neither of us are coming, I end up feeling a little embarrassed (he never says anything) and he's exhausted.

My last partner wouldn't have to have sex with me nearly as hard or fast to reach orgasm... nor the partner before that and they were both smaller than him. So I didn't every feel like my vagina got bigger during sex or anything. They would generally wait until I orgasmed then finish. My last partner said I was quite tight and sometimes it was hard for him to hold off.

So for the last few weeks I've been doing pelvic floor exercises 3 times a day and I think it make a difference at the beginning (which isn't the problem) but it's just the banging away so much it just gets all loose after a while and makes me not want to continue having sex... It's like the part (further back) that gets loose isn't part of the pelvic floor is more further back. And the way my bf has sex with me it's like his penis is hitting my cervix or something which can hurt at the time and ache afterwards too...

So I guess I just wondered if other women had this issue and what do you do about it? I don't like how I feel after it (even though he's a really nice guy). I am continuing to do the pelvic floor but... if anyone has any other advice i would be really grateful.

Thank you
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replied February 22nd, 2012
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I can't answer on all the aspects of your question, being as I'm male, but I can certainly testify to the Lexapro effect! I had that exact same side effect when I was on Lexapro, it could take an AGE to cum and sometimes I'd literally give up even during masturbation. Lexapro was brilliant for anxiety but not great for sex life!

The way it felt for me whilst on Lexapro was that sex just wasn't vigorous enough to enable me to orgasm and that was not the fault of the girl I was with. It was literally that I couldn't generate enough pressure or pace to overcome the Lexapro effect. I mean, there's only so much you can do without having a heart attack! More often than not I had to be finished by hand, so to speak. That was less than ideal, but at least it took the pressure off both of us.
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replied February 22nd, 2012
Hi Stu

Thanks for your reply. Sometimes he'll skip taking them and it's normal... He works away so sometimes the day before or first day back he'll skip it.... And its great! But I'd never ask him to although yeah I wonder if it would be bet if he took something else or found a natural therapy to control the Anxiety.

Did you find another medication as an alternative to Lexapro?

K
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