|Step parents sometimes don't love their step children. My step mother was one of these.|
|Yours and your daughter's is a heartbreaking story. Why didn't this husband who 'forced' you to have this child take full custody of the child? Where is he and why are you stuck with a child you hate?
It is obvious you are an infirm person, as you stated, who should have never been a parent. Facing situations that we abhor in life is as real as life itself. Destroying one's life, not to mention a child's by refusing to acknowledge the situation we are forced to face is irresponsible. You have been damaging this child, not to mention yourself, from the day you found out you're carrying her. Children are keenly aware beings, and their awareness begins at conception. Why don't you have this child adopted by someone who can love her?
I don't know if you are just purely selfish or pathetic.
I hope you appreciate the kind of honesty you exercised yourself.
I don't even KNOW how to reply to this. Beline is not STUCK with a child she hates. She loves her daughter VERY much, has realized she has caused harm to her daughter and is trying to do right by her child now. Who are you to judge someone, when you cannot even seem to READ a post right? Yeah, go ahead, make someone who already feels bad enough about their past situation (someone who is trying very hard to do right by their child now)feel even worse. Beline was kind enough to share a very deep and honest story and if you had read her post correctly, you would see that she does very much indeed love her daughter. Parenting DOES NOT come easy for all people. Especially when there is manipulation involved in the process. I can honestly say myself that parenting is not a stroll in the park for me. I remember when they were tiny babies and colicky how I would daydream about them being kidnapped for a week, just so I could get some decent sleep. I would never actually DO harm to them, and that is the difference between being a normal person and an abusive parent. If you can honestly say you have never secretly wished harm upon someone (even if it was a thought), then good on you. But most normal people have evil, vile thoughts creep into their heads every once in awhile. It's people like you that make parents feel so ashamed of normal feelings, make them lie and say parenting is SO easy, that it is cake and roses. It's not. I have no need to lie, I have done no wrong. And what I was thinking during those many sleep-deprived, colicky nights has had NO bearings upon my children. Face it, honestly children get in the way. They are always into something, good or bad. Constantly under foot. Disobediant. But they are children. That is what they do best. And there are more times than not that I get frustrated at them and have to remind myself that they are just kids. It is difficult to revert back to thinking like a child and relating to a child when for so long you have been thinking like an adult and relating to other adults. Beline, your story is beautiful. It shows how we grow and change. It shows how our mental capacities can change if we want something so bad or realize something we are doing is impacting someone else's life. You, and any other mother/father who can be totally honest about how difficult parenting can be, how much effort it takes to change, how much growing up takes place on the parental side, we are the true best parents. At least in my opinion. We are the type that can be expected to be honest with our children and to teach them honest ways. We are the type that will say, tough, life is tough. Make good decisions because they will make the rough road of life easier. Parents who feel ashamed of the way they feel are not being honest with themselves. If you cannot be honest with yourself, how are you going to be totally open and honest with your own child/ren?
|That includes being honest with each other, not tolerating societal evils to become part of our nature.|
|But love, Iâve learnt, is an attitude and a mindset more than it is an emotion. A lot of damage has been done to a little girl who had no part in the mistakes her parents made, and trying to correct it is hard, it takes a lot of time, and even more patients.|
|Not being sleep deprived helped a lot. Lol. I adamantly worked on changing my mindset, trying to see her as my daughter and not something that invaded my life, and ruined my career. It took forever, but I am now at a point were I can say that I truly love my daughter.|