parents don't like fiance Posted: 04-01-08 21:07pm
I am planning on getting married to a man
who my parents have never really liked
much. He also got me pregnant at sixteen &
my mother made me have an abortion. So,
that's the MAIN reason why they don't like
him. But other than that, it's nothing.
They just flat out dislike him.
My question is, is this going to effect
our marriage? How do you think my parents
will respond to me telling them i'm
engaged? Should I even tell them?
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mominashoe
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Joined: 04 Dec 2007 Posts: 1774 Location: , KS USA
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Posted: 04-01-08 22:07pm
It's terrible that your parents made you
have an abortion. But I guess that's not
the here and now. I can see why they
don't like him for getting you pregnant.
But it does take two to have sex (unless
it's abuse of course.)
It is going to affect your marriage. The
in-laws of both sides are going to be
somewhat involved no matter how hard you
try to keep them out. If they don't like
him, of course they are going to be upset
and will probably try to make you leave
him. There is no way you can keep forever
the fact that you are (going to be)
married to him, so you should probably
tell them, but you will need to assure
them that you want this, you are a big
girl now, and it is your decision. You
will also need to be sure to tell them
that you are not going to be dependent
upon them for anything and are going to do
this on your own. Only children sneak
behind their mother's backs...an adult
informs their parents in a mature manner,
so that is what you will need to do.
Part of the reason why they may not like
is is because no matter your age, they
feel responsible for you (and probably
always will.)
Parents not liking a chosen partner is not
uncommon, but sometimes it isn't a bad
idea to try to look a little farther than
the "flat out dislike" and see if there
really is a good reason for them to not
like him. Sometimes it might be a good
idea to stop, slow down and take a break
and ask yourself if you really want to do
what you are doing. I'm not saying that
you are making a bad decision or that he
isn't for you, I'm just saying that
sometimes people tend to rush into things
without thinking too much and are too busy
to take into consideration how they
themselves feel, because they are worried
about the negativity of others.