Hello, my name is Paul and I'm a 22 year
old former normal person. Prior to my
downfall, I had friends, a part-time job,
and a bright future -- having been
accepted into University. Unfortunately,
I never went, because I did not graduate
from my last year of high school. I quit
midway, stopped associating with my
friends and disconnected all contact with
the outside world. Whatever happened was
and is too complicated to explain
coherently, so I won't make the attempt.
However, I can give a few details from
when it all seemed to have started. I
call it: the awakening:
I started experimenting with weed, because
one of my best friends convinced me to try
some. I've heard about the connection
between weed and mental illness, but I
never thought it could happen to me - no
family history. In fact, I've got pretty
good genes. My first experience with weed
was interesting. So, I tried it a few
more times.
Something happened, I'm still not sure
what it was. All I can say for certain
was that it was intense. It felt like my
mind was being raped. I started
experiencing some very weird things. Each
experience building up the previous and so
forth. I had smoked weed a few times and
I had to stop. The effects were too
enormous. My reality changed forever.
For my mother's sake, I went through a
mental evaluation process a few months ago
and then a 2nd one after that. The
diagnosis was confirmed and I was
presented with a prescription for paranoid
schizophrenia. I took the pills for
almost a couple of months, discontinuing
shortly after I started my research on the
subject. I've been off them for a while
now and I definitely feel better.
I haven't determined what's going on and I
won't jump to any conclusions. However,
there's something really odd about this
mental illness and others for that matter.
Pills aren't the answer, not for me,
anyways.
If you've been diagnosed with this mental
illness, then, I'd like to know why you
believe it.
Regards,
Paul
|
Galaxy
Supporter
Joined: 15 Mar 2006 Posts: 512 Location: U.K,
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Posted: 03-19-08 21:03pm
I am sorry you have gone through all of
this and that your education has been
temporarily derailed. I think it is
important that you focus on getting your
condition settled so that you can get back
to education and try to make a good future
for yourself. Of course you should try to
find out everything about your condition
but please don't dwell on it to the point
that you give up on your future and lose
your place at uni. I am sure that if you
contact them and explain why you failed to
take up your place, they will be very
obliging and will advise you about
reapplying. All unis have a disability
policy and your condition should not be a
consideration on whether or not to offer
you a place.
And please don't think that being normal
is the pinnacle of all our ambitions. Who
really wants to be normal? Accept the
difference and get on with your life!
Good luck.
|
Paul86
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Mar 2008 Posts: 19
Posted: 03-21-08 15:16pm
Why do people accept that they have this
illness?
|
Galaxy
Supporter
Joined: 15 Mar 2006 Posts: 512 Location: U.K,
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Posted: 03-21-08 15:26pm
What is the alternative? To believe that
your mind has been taken over by reptiles/
demons/ aliens etc? You refer to your
'downfall' - have you any rationale for
why this happened to you?
|
Paul86
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Mar 2008 Posts: 19
Posted: 03-23-08 15:43pm
It's called: flawed thinking.
Have you been diagnosed?
Way back when, people believed Earth was
fixed at the center of the universe and
everything else (stars, our Sun, other
planets, etc) revolved around it (us).
Thanks to Nicolaus Copernicus (among
others) and his work, that belief was
falsified. At first people (even educated
people) had a hard time accepting this.
They just couldn't seem to understand that
they were merely specs or parts of a much
greater whole. This went against the
deluded teachings of the church and that's
precisely why Copernicus didn't go around
advertising his theories. Galileo was
almost killed for it.
People don't really think for themselves
(life is too short, right?). Instead,
they believe whatever is being accepted by
the general public and whatever fits with
their needs. We like to be emotionally
satisfied. For instance, life isn't going
as planed: "it's not my fault - it's the
illness"...Then we proceed to take
medication which makes us think even less.
Great!
No. It's my fault this happened. I'm
dealing with it and I plan to go back to
school (soon) and get my life back on
track (by eating healthy, exercise,
meditation, etc). Nevertheless, I'm still
curious about this so-called illness. In
fact, I'm having great trouble
understanding it's definition... The exact
definition.
So, why do you believe you have this
illness (it's almost like an excuse isn't
it - the doctors really had me going!)?
(lack of insight, unappealing reality
about the matter, ???)
I'm genuinely interested. So, please...
|
Galaxy
Supporter
Joined: 15 Mar 2006 Posts: 512 Location: U.K,
Thanks: 5
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Posted: 03-23-08 19:03pm
I am not schizophrenic (as far as I know,
anyway!) I have lots of physical symptoms
and I suffer from Chronic Anxiety but
that's it. I like reading the posts here
though because I want to understand what
makes people think the way they do. I see
that almost every time someone mentions
schizophrenia, ten people appear to tell
them not to listen to the doctors but to
read the bible/accept that they are
possessed etc. I don't know why they
think this should be a preferable
diagnosis of schizophrenia. I think what
you are asking is, why do people accept a
diagnosis of mental illness when their
'symptoms' are actually being caused by
something outside themselves - is that
correct?
|
Paul86
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Mar 2008 Posts: 19
Posted: 03-23-08 21:47pm
The bible, demons, possession, God as the
Santa look-alike, etc... are all stories
and no different then fairy tales (imo).
The Bible is a very philosophical and
metaphorically illustrated work of the
truth and it takes a very keen mind to
properly translate it. Children and most
adults don't have that kind of ability, so
their fed stories, which they take
literally and instead exercise their
imaginations. They'll picture God as
Santa Clause in a white rob, sitting in
heaven and then they'll picture the devil
as a dark goat-like evil, torturing
sinners in hell. And so on. In reality,
those are just symbols and metaphors,
which represent different things. God in
one context may = truth and the devil =
delusion. Whatever, I don't consider
myself an expert. I just know a thing or
two.
People who fit the schizophrenics mold
(strong propensity for
delusional/irrational thinking) should
probably not read the bible, because they
are likely to not understand its proper
meaning. They'd take it literally. Can
you imagine? It's like reading a fairy
tale and believing it! (witches, magic,
dragons, etc). No good.
Not all assumed schizophrenics would do
that, but the ones who would, probably
shouldn't be reading the bible.
I don't read the bible:) (The Bible on the
other hand...)
Quote:
tr>
I think what you
are asking is, why do people accept a
diagnosis of mental illness when their
'symptoms' are actually being caused by
something outside themselves - is that
correct?
I'm not sure what you mean.
There's a variety of factors at play here.
To name a few: genes, experiences,
thoughts, intelligence (we have no control
over the former two, YET we have freewill,
so I'll assume we're somewhat in control
of the latter two). The norm have these
and so do the "mentally ill", the only
difference is that the mentally ill (in my
case, anyways) form strong insights and
think independently (~from the norm) about
life. This somewhat changes the way we
experience reality and how we think. We
see the truth and are sensitive to the
illusions in our society. We know that a
large part of the societies we live in are
deluded and controlled by so-called common
sense, emotions, ego, and so on.
Hence the phrase: "the world is crazy".
Well, it's only like that, because people
don't think for themselves and therefore
they don't know the truth.
Fragile minds (emotionally driven,
dishonest, etc) that are exposed to the
truth, suffer. Many of them, want to go
back to being sheep, but in most cases,
the bridges back have been burned down.
So, what do they do when they can't cope
with the truth? They use their powerful
imaginations and construct worlds in which
they feel superior (as opposed to
inferior). Problems occur, resulting in
mental illnesses and so on.
However, it should be noted that mental
illnesses are themselves constructs of
delusion. Consider this truth for
instance:
Biological disease vs. mental illness -
diseases are discovered, while mental
illnesses are invented. Each one of us,
according to the DSM..., has one form or
another (or a combination) of a type of
mental illness. Many studies have shown
that a person that's perceived as normal
to one psychiatrist, maybe perceived ill
to another. Sure, there are some which
agree on a diagnosis, but the diagnoses is
based on something that isn't real.
People who are smart, truthful, and who
have a strong imagination will be seen as
somewhat abnormal in comparison to sheep
(the general public). That's just the way
it goes.
A revered spiritual leader from India,
maybe diagnosed as a sever psychotic
individual when placed in a country like
America.
Anyways, if you haven't already noticed,
the general population is deluded and
living in a deluded reality. The only
reason they're not diagnosed as mentally
ill, is because they don't exhibit these
"symptoms", because they're safe in a
world where everyone else is as deluded as
they are. Instead of anxiety, they're
happy. Hence the phase: "ignorance is
bliss".
Just to make sure you understand: people
who were exposed to their deluded ways,
because of a greater understanding of the
truth, cannot go back. It's like, once
you figure someone is lying, there isn't
going to be much chance that you'll be
deceived again. It's quite a shock. In
some ways, similar to: falling out of love
with someone (for lack of a better ex).
The vale has been lifted and it's over.
Depression arises and irrational thinking
may occur. In other words, we want to be
happy (or in love), as we were. To put it
differently - we're still somewhat
deluded, but not as deluded as we were.
[to understand this, you'd probably get
somewhere with that love example].
I hope that makes some sense. I'm done
with this ramble or stream of
consciousness. I don't want you to be
deceived by my thinking, instead, think
for yourself. Obviously, the truth isn't
easily found, especially when one is
deeply meshed within the deluded, ego
driven, world.
Heh, I'm sure some people are going to
think I've completely lost it, but those
are the same type of people that would
still be stuck in the dark ages, if it
wasn't for others, such as Jesus,
Socrates, Copernicus and many, many more,
to guide then along.
Regards,
Paul
Edit: I've reread it after I posted it and
so there were some grammatical
errors/spelling mistakes to take care of.
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