Joined: 30 Jul 2006 Posts: 180 Location: Torrance, CA USA!!
Thanks: 11
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Paranoid about girlfriend's best friend Posted: 08-29-08 00:17am
Honestly, I think I'm crazy/worrying to
much/paranoid... etc.
but my girlfriend has this best friend who
she is really close with. We'll call him
Earl (not real name) She knew him for
about 10 years. According to her he is the
2nd closest guy in her life, which i
thought was strange because I'm 3rd. (Her
first is dad) Anyway, Earl likes to hold
hands with her, lay down besides her with
her, come to her house randomly late at
night (usually 2 AM-ish), and basically be
as close to her as possible. She allws
this because she thinks it's ok for close
friends to do this.
Now he is 19 and my gf is 17 (like me),
and also he has a gf himself. Earl's
relationship with his gf isn't going so
well.
He lives in San Diego, CA and we (my gf
and I) are in Orange County, CA so why
would he drive for a hours just to see
her?
Anyway, here's the question: Is there a
possibility...
... she might be abused or sexually
harassed by him?
...that I might actually lose her to him?
------------------------------------------
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Earl is quick to anger and he did hit his
gf couple times. Also he is about to break
up with her.
My girlfriend and I have been together for
11 months, but she still has trouble
trusting me when it comes down to it.
My girl friend, from my observation, has
been hurt before. She is very emotional,
possessive, unsure, fakes confidence, and
fakes high self esteem.
She is slowly healing and she fears she
will lose me.
Also I'm her first for everything
including kiss, hand holding (Earl started
to hold hands with her after She and I got
together), etc...
So knowing this can you answer my
questions?
Also why can't she trust me as she does
with Earl?
and
Why does she think she's going to lose me,
no matter how much she knows I won't?
Thanks so much for the help!!
Cheers,
Peter
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jadkins05
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Mar 2007 Posts: 17 Location: Florida
Thanks: 1
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Posted: 09-05-08 09:36am
It is possible for people of the opposite
sex to be friends.
Although some argue against it. Have you
ever just had a friend who was a girl? And
NEVER had any sexual thoughts about her?
Your girlfriend you say have trust issues,
but at the same time...IT seems you have
trust issues with her. This isn't a
healthy relationship currently. Instead of
posting on here for help, you should TALK
TO HER. Tell her how you feel, and tell
her how much you care about her.
Helpful hint, NEVER SAY "YOU". Always say
"I".
Example, saying "you dont trust me" wont
turn out well! Say "I think we are having
some trust issues" or something. The first
to blame loses!
It is weird for someone to drive hours
randomly at night...I will say, one of my
closest friends is a chick..I would drive
a few hours maybe once every 2 weeks or
so... but not randomly at 2am.
all in all, talk to her.
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Sukki
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Sep 2008 Posts: 90
Thanks: 9
Thanked:2
Posted: 09-07-08 13:12pm
well in my case i have this online friend
who's gf often dresses sluttily and hugs
and kisses her male friends, but thats coz
she is some sort of psycho and stresses
herself out without even the need for it.
then at the last, dont know why, even the
bf and gf didnt know why, she had sex with
a guy, probably one of her admirers. if i
were the bf, i'd leave her, but what is
the causes of these happening? she is in
need of care perhaps?
id say ur gf places friends as more
important. maybe she sees him as a
'sister' or equal.
ur gf is a lot better off than my friend's
gf, i have no idea why she still wans him
back after she french kissed with one of
her admirers. she did preserve herself for
him, but then she did lose it.
so cheer up! and dont think too much, ur
gf is just being a nice friend and
socialist.
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petery2k562
Supporter
Joined: 30 Jul 2006 Posts: 180 Location: Torrance, CA USA!!
