I wasn't sure where to post this at all, so I figured this would be the best place to put it.
I suffer with paranoia on a level that is really effecting my life. I don't feel normal. I'll explain it a little so you can tell me what you think is best to do about it.
Basically, I'm paranoid of peoples intentions. I know that sounds stupid, and everyone gets it, but it doesn't go away. I've had it my entire life. I can't remember any point in my life where I have trusted a person fully. When I think I trust someone, I often get knocked back.
In relationships, I find that I cannot relax, or sleep, if I know the person is talking to someone else. If I see a conversation, my heart races and my head goes kinda fuzzy, even if it's innocent. When I think about it after calming, I can see it more rationally, but when I first read it my head just kind of explodes.
I have to talk about anything in my head that is playing up, or it literally goes round in my head for days on end, making me more and more angry. I can't get myself out of it, I need constant reassurance that it's not how I interpreted it.
It's not only emotional though. I often find myself suspicious of others around me in a public place. I cannot sit at ease on a train or bus through fear of confrontation or teasing. I feel inferior to almost everyone, like they have more of a right and they look down at me.
I dunno, I just want to see if there's someone with the same issue, or someone that recognizes that it's not just normal insecurity. I feel crazy.
Hello, I assure you, you are NOT crazy. This sounds like some Anxieties caused by insecurity. Typically we trust someone, until they give us reason not to. You seem to anti-trust from the start and are not surprised when they slip up in some form. Somewhere along the way, you began this trust issue. I feel it best you talk to someone about this. When we don't trust, the normal reaction would be to keep our guard up. You have already made an assumption that something will happen, so your guard is ALWAYS up! If we are always looking for a fault in someone, we will have to find one eventually. Trusting someone is a gift, don't neglect yourself from this. You should not feel ANYONE is above you, we are all equal and anyone who makes you feel this way is Garbage! Someone hurt you somewhere sweetheart, and I think you've suffered long enough
Hope this helps you - RGG