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Paranoia/anxiety/depression/loss of energy???

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I recently have gotten sober from weed, once or twice use of adderall, and once or twice use of drinking, im 54 days clean today. I don't know if it has anything to do with what has been happening to me lately but i need to figure it out. Lately,(past week or so) i have had very little energy, no motivation to do anything, super bad paranoia(looking over my shoulder when im walking up stairs or walking anywhere in my house, looking around my room, having all the lights on at night and when i try to sleep), anxiety about my paranoia, random wave of suicidal thoughts that i cant control, so strong to the point where i feel like i couldnt control myself if i had a gun around, depression, hearing like footsteps and random sounds that are making me super paranoid, seeing things moving like posters in my room like someone is walking past them. Im having major paranoid thoughts like something or someone is trying to get me and i feel like im going crazy! I will be just laying on my bed in my room and literally FEEL something or someone standing over me or next to me and it scares me to the point where i cry and run upstairs to be around my family but i still feel it. It's been getting stronger to where i cant be in another room alone without being terrified and crying, i cant even take a shower without always looking out the curtain to see if someone is standing in the bathroom cuz i hear little noises that make me think someone is in the room with me. I havent even watched any scary movies lately or anything(which usually freaks me out for a couple days or so). I feel like i should be in a psych ward or something its driving me nuts! I have been doing good with staying clean and sober but this is making me want to give up on life so it can just go away, i had to beg my mom to leave my little brother home today so i wouldnt be alone at the house and im scared to even go down to take a shower or change the laundry because downstairs is where i feel it the most. Im so scared of the dark and being alone now and i don't know what to do. I feel some kind of presence in the dark or where im alone to teh point that i dont even want to move because i feel like if i reach my hand out im going to feel something there right next to me. Its so strong sometimes i yell for my mom and see like a faint shadow like someone is standing over me it scares me to death. I have been super emotional lately like watching movies and stuff i will cry and little things make me depressed or cry. What the hell is going on with me? Am i crazy? What should i do?
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replied August 12th, 2011
Extremely eHealthy
hello, u should start by telling mom and dr
how old r u
u say u r clean and describe once or twice this and that so what was extent of your pot, adderall, booze etc.?
take care
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