Sexual Health - Women Forum - Painful uncomfortable sex

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Q: Painful uncomfortable sex

asked by: sparkie (online) on November 8th, 2009

New User

Hi all,
I'm a female, 20, and really need some advice.
Altogether I've slept with 4 people I lost my virginity when I was 18, the first 3 however were all one-offs (I didn't plan it to be that way they were all guys I thought I would end up in a relationship with, turns out I was extremely naive) and then recently I've been seeing a guy and we've had sex 3 times now.

Everytime I have sex its painful and uncomfortable and it's never been remotely fun or pleasurable for me. It also hurts when I'm being fingered. I've bled twice before in the past but I don't bleed anymore. It's hard because the guy I'm seeing tries foreplay with his fingers but even that hurts, and it still hurts when we use lubrication. He's also tried to go down on me but I never really seem to enjoy that.

I try to relax and quite often get rather drunk so that I'm more at ease. The uncomfortableness lasts usually for a day or so afterwards too, and when I pee. I don't know if any of these details will make a difference for anyone giving advice, but I rarely use tampons, I've also been on the pill since I was 14 and I've not had a smear.

I did think maybe it was because I'm still fairly inexperienced but now I'm wondering could I have a medical problem? It's already caused an argument with the guy I'm seeing because he keeps trying out different positions with me and he finds it hard to understand that none of them are really less painful. I would REALLY appreciate any help x

Replies(2)

ServiceU

replied on November 11th, 2009

Supporter

You should get a pap smear once a year to make sure our okay.
Is this guy really big or average size?
Did you have this problem with the other guys you were with.
I dated this guy and everything he did felt horrible and he used to hurt me also. he was big and he didnt know what he was doing, he even screwed up the foreplay. some people isnt sexually compatible.
I would think that your body will get used to him.
are you stressed out, taking medications, or do you have sexual dysfunction.

Sexual problems. If you experience pain during sex (dyspareunia) or inability to orgasm (anorgasmia), it can hamper your desire for sex.
Im going to email you a website, and i hope it helps you.

Are you able to get horny, testosterone is what control a man and women's libido. You have to find out whats going on with your body to find a resolution.

sparkie

replied 33 minutes ago

New User (online)

thanks for replying, i only just realised you had responded... erm i'd say he is bigger than average, but yeah i had this problem with everyone else i've slept with too.

i'm worried something is wrong but then i'm wondering is it because i'm still fairly inexperienced i mean i can count on 2 hands how many times i've had sex in my whole life.

i'm not taking medication apart from the pill which i started when i was 14 because my periods were irregular. i don't know whether to go to a doctor or not, i thought i would see how things go with me and him and if it gets any more comfortable but we had an argument last time cos i was quite drunk and upset and he was hurting me, (not intentionally)so i told him to leave it, and now he won't speak to me. nice huh!

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