I am a gentle, mild mannered person who keeps to himself. Because of my manias I try not to talk to strangers or co-workers too much. I can get too excited or start talking in really abstract terms that don't connect with people. I try to keep it all under wraps. I appear aloof, arrogant and cold to most. The only reason I do this, is to avoid scaring them with my occasional maniacle silliness. If someone is rude to me I usually ignore it, give them the benefit of the doubt, walk away and try to calm down. This helps me keep my job, but the fact that I don't save 'my face' really gets to me. I hate being disrespected to my face and not doing anything about it.

Are any of you other Bipolars occasionally overly sensitive? Do people throw you into rages? Do people treat you rudely and disrespect you when you are trying to keep to yourself? Do you ever fear that you will severely hurt someone when they come after you, when you are obviously not looking for trouble?

Today someone at work rudely corrected me in public and second guessed me, putting me on the spot. He caught me off guard, but because he was an unknown manager to me, I went along with him and he made me look stupid. His goal was to make me feel like crap and disrespect me. The only reason I let it happen is because he was an authority figure. I really wanted to say something to him / do something to him, but I didn't want to screw up my job. I had never interacted with the guy before. After wards I found out it is his last day. He was only there temporarily. I know he won't be there tomorrow, but I still wish I could go back there and hurt him. I know it would make me feel good and would balance out this situation. I am tired of letting others treat me like crap. I would like to let people know that you can't just treat people in a haphazard fashion. I am a person too, and if you want to pick a fight with me for no reason, you should be willing to take damage for that, or at least be willing to face my anger. I am tired of swallowing my pride and feelings and letting others treat me like garbage.

I know this is long, but these sort of situations bother me, because they make me so angry and they are subtle. You can't really talk to someone about the fact that they disrespected you. It is mainly an internal experience and a non-verbal one. It is a game to them, but it has a real impact on those involved and on those who are witnessing it. It p'd me off so bad, because I feel helpless. I don't think that complaining about it to anyone higher up would help, because I am a lowly employee. Complaining and confronting might just make it much worse. This puts me in a bind. And therefore it really p'd me off. I am angry, because I know that guy gets a sick satisfaction out of making me feel like crap. I know it. It really gets to me and I wish I could get even with him.

Things like this have happened to me over the last few years and I still wish I could go back and rectify the situation.

Any thoughts would be helpful. This was a mild situation.