Hi, I'm new to this forum, hopefully someone can help me out!
I'm 17 years old, and have been a perfectionist all my life. I suffered from anorexia for the past 4 years, and just recovered. Now that I'm recovered, I have all of this pent up anxiety that has been overwhelming. I do have a therapist, but I would also like your opinions....
My brain is non stop thinking 24/7. Whether it be a conversation that I had with someone, or a thought/emotion that I have, I think about it and probably turn it into something bigger than it is.
I start to think about things and then make up situations in my head and my mind tricks me into believing it.
For example, I've never really had a serious relationship before because I was so distracted by my anorexia (only a few flings in middle school). Now, seeing all of my friends have boyfriends and etc, I feel like I'll never find someone. This leads me to think that I'm a lesbian, and I get incredibly anxious and worried. My low self esteem and confidence just leads me to believe that I am.
As you can see, my brain is crazy, and I really can't take it anymore. I've had a few panic attacks where my heart rate goes up, my body shakes, and I get sore and tense.
Please help me to relax my brain, I can't take it anymore :(
* I exercise a lot, so that isn't a problem...my main ocncern is how to not be consumed by my thoughts, I want to be able to recognize a thought or emotion, and leave it as that. I need to be able to see that thoughts are just thoughts and nothing more!
Thanks so much for reading this!
I constantly overanalyze the crap out of everything, non-stop. Always bites me in the ass, too, because the conclusions I reach in the process never really resemble reality that much. I'm always making things out to be more (or sometimes less) significant than they really are, or should be.
Kinda classic anxiety symptoms you describe--if you're having panic attacks as well, it sounds like maybe your anxiety isn't under sufficient control.
What's worked for me to some extent is to find something else to occupy my brain. Don't really know what kind of activities you're into from your post, but for me, making music usually helps, and recently I've also found that trying to help out people on forums like these really takes my mind off the things I normally dwell on. Do you have any creative pursuits? What kinds of interests do you have?
In me, I kind of look at this problem as "my brain's not getting enough to eat;" failing proper nutrition, it begins to consume itself. Reading a lot used to help me, but anymore the meds make it pretty difficult to concentrate on anything longer than a forum post (you should see how long it's taken me to write this, lol).
There are all sorts of focus and relaxation techniques you could try, also. Do some online research on it, and you might ask your therapist about the idea as well.
As far as relationships go, so what if all of your friends have boyfriends--are they you, are they living your life? No. Then don't worry about measuring yours by their standards, you'll never be happy that way anyway. And if by chance you are indeed a lesbian, so what? Be who you are, and things will work out. Or, as Oscar Wilde once said, "Be yourself--everyone else is already taken.”