For the past 3 or 4 years of my life now i feel i have struggled with sad feelings, im not sure if i can call myself depresed without having a diagnosis first. My life has been full of ups and downs with school and home. My parents have had to take in my sisters children because of neglect, they turned my world upside down.
Both my brothers have moved away and i dont get to speak to them alot so its just basically me on my own with my niece and nephew and they are evil.
I became depressed last year and was sent for councilling at school, which didnt really helpat all. I told my councillor my problems with self harm and she did nothing. I stopped going to her after a few weeks as i felt nothing was being done but now im starting to feel even worse than before and my need to cut is increasing. It feels like a big ball of painful energy in my body and it needs to be brought out. I know its a bad way of copingwith things, it leaves horrible scars and could get mento serious trouble but i cant stop. Nothing seems to be going right in my life, somtimes if i argue with myself not to cut it just makes me suicidal and i just think of killing myself........ i cant stand this anymore, i want to changeand i want to feel whole..................... i want to be happy