Hello..
I need advice regarding my 11 year old son. I do NOT know what to do. This has gotten to a point that most of the time I wish he lived somewhere else. Background info.. I am a single-work full time mom, without a father in the picture. He has never known/seen his dad. My son was a difficult baby-with a pretty fierce temper even as a baby. I always thought this was something he would outgrow. This has not happened. He usually conducts himself well in school and always did in daycare too. Has never been in any serious trouble at school or anywhere. It has always been when he gets home he "lets his hair down" and his true colors show. He is defiant, will not listen or follow rules at home, back talks me, throws fits, will not take no for an answer, throws things, and threatens violence. His new thing is to cuss me. He will call me a names when he is having one of these episodes. There are times he can be fun, loving, and good. When he stays with my parents he is good and follows rules. It all seems to be directed to his immediate family. For me the BAD times are out weigh the good. I just dont know what to do. My concern is when he gets to be 14-15 yrs old with this type of personality. He will be bigger than me and his sister. My fear is that he may one day get so mad he will hurt one of us. He has nearly ruined my life as well as his 13 yr old sister. She tells me she hates her life because of him.We don't go many places, due to his behavior. When we go to Wal-mart he will ask to get something that is expensive or something not appropriate for him and he will raise his voice to argue his point with me. He will say things like "s**** off", call me stupid-and curse while bullying me into getting him whatever it is he wants. There have been times I have given in to him because I didnt want a scene. I know I should not have ever done this. He is not embarrassed to do this. Most kids would be. Not him. It is emotionally draining. My parents have told me that all he needs is a good spanking. They just dont understand. Spanking will not curtail his behavior. If I took all of his things away as punishment...he will go out of control. I am sure the cops would probably get called by my neighbors because he would be so loud. I do not know what to do. I dont know what is wrong with him. He is the youngest of 5 children, with only him and his sister still living at home. He is 1 of 4 boys...so I know how to raise boys. My other children are all very well behaved with good manners-even when they were young. None of them have ever acted this way. I am exhausted from dealing with him. He has never been diagnosed with anything-has a perfect health record. One thing about myself I know to be true-I have never been a strong disciplinary person. My older 4 children have a different father as my youngest son. They all know their dad and have relationship with him. I dont know if that is why he is the way he is or not. I do know there are lots of kids that grow up without male figure and they are fine. I need advice and would really love to hear from other parents that are going through same thing. I feel embarrassed by him-would hate for people to know what really goes on in my home with him. In fact, I dont tell people. Like I said I wish he could live with someone else most of the time. I love him but he is VERY HARD to like. I would like to hear from other parents who may be going through same thing. Would love some advice. I would love to have peace in my home and life.

Thanks- Gee