Our son has a furry fetish

Hello Towmader,

Depending on the age of your son and what he may have been exposed to, this could be really innocent. For example if he is a younger child he maybe sees his toys as creatures and like himself need to eat and excrete. He may just be wondering about his own body and expressing that through play with the toys, making them more life-like. This could be especially so if you have real animals around the home. Simple observation of a real animal can leave a child with the understanding that there is one end where things go in and another where things come out, all very normal.

If he is going through puberty then he is still likely to be having some element of interaction with his toys, though his play behavior will change to suit his new curiosities, which again is fairly normal.

Something which I should mention too is the need to always be aware of your child's behavior and those whom he has contact with. If he is displaying other odd or out of character behavior which may seem unusual for him then please get more information about what he is going through by first speaking with him. If you have further concerns always seek professional medical council.

All the best.

Ok let me clarify the problem... He is seventeen years old and making love to these stuffed animals. This isn't just innocent play. We found twenty stuffed animals that he had violated.
He said it's because he is rejected by girls. What happened to taking matters into your own hands???? I had never heard of this before I found out about this problem. His little brothers told us about it; so how can that affect them too??? I'm really at a loss here.
Really desperate in Ky

Thank you for being more descriptive with your post.

Your son is obviously at a sexually developed stage in his life. He is stimulating himself via some external means, as do many young adults and adults alike. Countless people express sexual interactions with adult toys when they do not have the real thing.

It's likely that he is imagining something totally different than the toy itself and the padding or wadding in the toy would be giving a sensation which would be similar to someone else touching him rather than say just the feeling of his own hand touching himself.

It sounds like this may be an option for him to get that external sensation much like many teen girls on this forum have expressed their need to hump pillows.

Do you discuss sexual activity, safe sexual interactions, masturbation etc in the home with the boys? Now would be an excellent time, as the younger brother would likely be wondering what this is about. There is much information available on parenting sites, sex education books and on the net, to help prepare parents discuss the often touchy subject.

I wonder if he will naturally try another method now that you have asked him why he was doing this. The most important thing is to not belittle him or humiliate him over this. Healthy sexual development is a part of growing up. Masturbating does not always come naturally to everyone. I think this was an inventive method on his part, considering his classmates are probably out doing the real thing.

Thank you for posting.

Admin has posted a Topic called "Warning signs for parents of teens" in the Teens section of the Parenting forum. They've suggested something called "Rant night" to help open up dialogue. Thought some of their advice may be of interest to you Towmader.

All the best.

I think its quite possible that he does just simply have a sexual fetish to anthropomorphic characters which has become common with young people with social problems out side of home. I don't think you should have it watered down but respectfully iv seen people whom after serious rejection begin to confuse what is and isn't a natural sexual partner. Coupled with strong new sexual urges this can really skew the normal sexual behavoirs of someone that age. Personally id watch his history on what ever computer he has access to for pornographic references to furrys, cartoons, or [what may not be the case but worst] beastiality. If it does go as far as real animals then he needs to see a sexual counseler whom can better help him better distinquish his attractions. Cartoon fetishes and furry fetishes are strange but a thing most people grow out of as they get older. All and all its not about punishing him or forcing him to stop what he's doing but helping him so he doesn't want to do it the next time

No, you shouldn't intrude on your son's privacy. It doesn't matter what type of porn he's into. It's just porn. There's no evidence that anyone is being harmed by this. Sexual deviance is different from disregarding the consent of your partner. They're just toys.

There is nothing wrong with how he is expressing his sexuality. Punishing someone for what turns them on is wrong. He may not be into what you are, that doesn't make it weird. Just because you don't understand something doesn't make it wrong. Calm down. At 17 is usually when people experiment with their sexuality anyway, so it may be a phase. I'm almost 20, it's normal for this sort of behaviour. Plus, "teddy sex" isn't as uncommon as you would think.

Any intervention by yourself is likely to do more harm than good, at this stage. It would introduce more shame into a natural expression of his sexual interests. The difference between a mental illness and a quirk is if it does damage to his life - rather than worrying about his fetishes, you should be more concerned with whether he's getting adequate socialization, and learning his boundaries and conversation skill with others.

If it helps to know, furries aren't all degenerate asocial loners without any romantic prospects to hope for. I know several that are married, and have been so for years or decades. It's a subculture, nothing more - if anything, it increases his dating prospects, because it gives something in common that's easy to talk about. Your son is as normal as anyone else in this world - give him his space, love him for who he is, and let him learn how to deal with it on his own.

And more than likely, if there is an attraction to furries, it's the taboo that drives that interest. In other words, your disgust over it (or someone else's) might have actually created this fantasy - ironic, no? This is universal - I think that we naturally gravitate towards the adrenaline of risky or daring behavior because in evolution that would have provided more opportunities to reproduce.

(late response, I know, but others may see this having the same problem)

"is there a doctor that can help"...

are you kidding?
that's wrong on so many levels.
what if i personally consider your wholesome attraction
to the opposite sex to be perverse?
should i send you to a doctor?
here's some meds....
now don't get turned on. by anything.

that is all.

i understand your concern and probable shock at your discovery about your child.
but, i can definitely tell you, as someone with the fetish, that it's nothing to worry about:

i am a functioning member of society, i'm well educated, happy, well adjusted, with a social life, a healthy sex life, and i hold down solid employment. and really, that's what matters in life, correct?
i'm not an antisocial animal-loving psychopath and neither is your son.
it's nothing to send him to the doctor over.

This has to be the funniest troll post turned serious that I have EVAR read. Oh my god. hahahaha

Oh dang. I think you're right.