hello and let me tell you i do the exact same thing. Im clear though but i don,t let it worry me as we are all different. Think about it if we had to orgasm the way a guy does apart from the mess how we know if it was us or our partners.
There are loads of questions as regards orgasms but really all that matters is that you enjoy it.
Have you tried self exploring to see what happens as once we know our own bodies and what turns us on we can then learn our partners and ho hey twice the fun.
Foreplay is sometimes the amswer to giving you the arousal that you would require to orgasm vaginally and self exploring you can learn how to do that.
hope this helped you in some way.