My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. Our relationship started off slow and friendly building to the strong love we have for each other now. He is 18 and I am 17. Due to the laws of our state we are not allowed to have sex, and with his heavily conservative family and my mother constantly berating me about the emotional side to sex, we have agreed to wait a few more months till our love making can be legal and our parents can have no influence over the matter.
Because we have decided to hold off the actual act of having sex we have found an alternative to make love to one another: dry humping with our pants on. I never thought it would be enjoyable, but then again we never thought about it either. It was one of those discoveries that came along naturally that needed no requirement of rationality. A fit of passionate kisses and the desire to want him closer triggered the pelvic thrusts and to our surprise our abilities to orgasm.
We both have never found masturbating worth bothering so we never were well acquainted with our genitals or our orgasms. However, he knows more of his parts than I do of my own since his are easier to examine. When I did become brave enough to place myself over a mirror, I was a bit horrified but at the same time intrigued. Haha Look at it a certain way and it does give the appearance of a flower.
Anywho, back to the orgasms. This whole dry humping thing has given me new insight into how my vagina works. When I am aroused and can feel my boyfriend''s (we''ll call him JR) the tip of JR''s penus where my vagina is I can reach this wonderfully, deep piercing orgasm that lasts however long he keeps thrusting into me there. Other times when I cannot feel him and I am in that high state of arousal, I can usually achieve orgasm by curving my pelvis up and tightening my abs which helps to tense my vaginal muscles. The orgasm if achieved that way is not as intense, but it does alleviate the tension building up. Sometimes too, if I really can''t feel him at all or if he is off center just JR reaching orgasm can cause me to orgasm, and that orgasm is just as strong as if I could feel him.
Because of this new discovery of my vaginal capabilities I have tried masturbating when I find myself sexually aroused. So far I have been able to achieve one orgasm out of my few sessions. What was interesting was that I was moving my fingers against my g-spot and was at the point where I knew I was about to go for the rollercoaster ride, but I just stayed there until I thought about JR and KA-BAM, I had the best orgasm yet with my vaginal walls contracting and that wonderful piercing feeling. It was so soothing but heart pumping at the same time. Afterwards, all I could think about was JR. I totally forgot ever having an orgasm at all. Since then I have not been able to achieve the same thing while masturbating. I have tried using my clitoris as stimulation as well, and that feels really good, but I haven''t orgasmed from it yet even though I can feel myself about to. That''s normally how it goes: I''m right on the edge, but the feeling won''t budge any further.
I love my boyfriend deeply and wonder that because of him I am able to orgasm at all. I find when I try to masturbate purely on the intentions for myself or when I find that I am letting my boyfriend hump me (lol) only because it feels good, I never orgasm let alone build up to it. That''s not to say I do not love him when I start to think like that, but my focus is less on him and more on what he can do for me. We both have discussed this, but I want to know what other people think about all of this. I''m not sure how practiced dry humping is out there but I''m assumming that with such a heavily populated planet someone out there can help me feel not as ridiculously alone in the matter. Also, any insight on my orgasm ordeal would be much appreciated. I love that I can orgasm on my own with my boyfriend especially with both of our pants on, but when the time comes for us both enjoying the pleasures of what we can do for each other I would like to be able to know what to say to him, like move like this and touch this like this. I can''t help but think that I may only be able to orgasm with someone else there because so far when I am solo I can only make myself climax to a point, but can never achieve the blissful release. haha quite irritating because I know I''m about to but then I just stay there highly aroused until I just give up.
You will be able to learn how to please yourself more effectively. It takes time. So don't get discouraged. Masturbate for the enjoyment of it. If you are stressing out about trying to have an orgasm you will be less likely to have one. If you just relax, have a good time and don't worry about it you will enjoy it more and be more likely to orgasm more often. You do need to get more comfortable with your body in order to be able to tell your partner what works for you. Part of that is going to be learned through self pleasure as well as sex with a partner. I can't really give you any advice on the dry humping situation. I think its cool that you two are being creative in finding ways to enjoy each other with out having to worry about pregnancy STDs etc. Good for you guys!
Thankyou for your reply. I figured I was putting too much pressure on myself just to reach an orgasm. Shooting for an expecation, etc. Also, becoming acquainted with my inner woman still feels like new territory which would make sense that there would be no orgasms.
Haha as for the dry humping.. JR and I have it figured out. I think it really forces one to be more emotionally involved into the moment; reason being we have four layers of clothes between our crotches, but also it tests how much we care for each other and allows us to express it to one another. Haha there have been times where we just want to rip our clothes off, but the moment has never been right enough to do so. We hate the idea of having sex in our parents' homes, and any where else we have a fear of being interrupted. When the time is right, the time is right