An organic purpose of mankind, to "create"? to "reproduce"?; I've always been a little confused about that. I was willing, years ago, just never happened, and now at 45, my wife already had kids, some people do still have kids at this age but we have no intention of it; my sisters both had kids, so plenty of nieces and nephews, I figure the work of passing on the genes has been done, right? also figured as far as I go, the buck stops here, enough is enough. So we try to "pass on" what, exactly, is my question. Is it a "look", or something? Because me, if I wanted to "pass on" something at all, if I were so bold as to assume such a role in the universe, I think I'd want to pass on ideas, more than a particular look; I'd be trying to pass on a "Way", of being, that could be used by all kinds of different types of beings, this finite world being the realm of inequality, and so multivariate, I'd want to come up with a dance that you could get all people, as well as cats, dogs, birds, Lippanzer Stallions, and cockatiels, to do, (I like to picture the horses up on the hind legs, arms around eachother, kicking in unison to the beat, with the birds doing a version of the same thing on all their heads, albino monkeys on their backs, and the three ring circus all saber tooth cats and wolves, as well as the entire Paleocene parade of condylarths from the Mongolian plateau, all doing the dance in unison), that's what I'd like to "spread", not my "look", but it's not just the look we thought we'd be passing down now, is it, with this primal urge of our species, one of the few on earth that doesn't have a "season", and is just in heat year round, (I think it's just us and the orangutans)?
What is the primal irrationality, is it that we feel, or we assume, that we are the only ones who can "see" something in a certain way, and it's so precious an internal, mystical, beatific secret that it must be "passed down" because humanity never had this great jewel before you invented it, or else couldn't it go around you, from your ancestors through your sisters? But your sisters aren't "you", intuition will tell you right away, so what is it we are REALLY trying to pass on, with this dark irrationality, deeply motivating every human, I've always wondered.
Spirit that listens to itself to know itself, spreads out, is never confined to just a human body, it's usually the whole house, including my wife, sleeping. The birds outside starting to wake up, that easily becomes part of me, that early in the morning. Hey, why do some crave the violent video games, that kinda stuff? To be a part of that spirit, and they know that when they walk away, the spirit having been the violent scenes of prowess, that that will still be with them, and they edify themselves with these things. We constantly create ourselves, then, as spirit that knows itself as spirit, by what we surround ourselves with (how well we clean up this room), and anyway, if THIS is what we really are, which makes alot more sense to me, it can't really be "passed down", it's of the moment, our graceful internal being, calming down the cloud around us in radiating concentric circles to other beings throughout the present.
Here's what I think it is: it's not the DNA we want to pass on, it's the RNA, and here's why it's unique to each individual, as your intuition has been telling you all along.
OLGA KHARITIDI, MD, wrote "Spirits of Trauma", It's her second book, I now have her first and it's in the queue with a medium to high priority. She is a Russian psychiatrist who went to Siberia to study with a very powerful shaman, and learned and taught something that I've never heard from any other shamanic culture, and I have totally integrated into my "teaching", my "psychosis", my "culture two", my "tapirology": she said the demons, the spirits the shaman uses as helper spirits, that he has to first subdue, are "spirits of trauma", both his own trauma, but also the trauma of his ancestors (I think they gave some number like 10 generations, but that might be kind of arbitrary), but then they said a powerful shaman can actually collect the spirits of trauma from other people, the people he ministers to, and make those "demons" his own, and train them and control them. And the tapir is a "demon eater" who does exactly this, as far as I can tell it's the same technology, and this is what I study from him, how to eat, and digest, huge quantities of demons, not just the occasional few that the average community healer does, but to absorb like a black hole at the center of a galaxy cluster, the vast majority of all the demons on the continent, to absorb at the "Eddington limit" as they say in astrophysics, as Lance Armstrong our country's most powerful biker absorbs 10,000 calories a day and burns exactly the same amount, absorbing demons and producing a "cooling flow", which in this complex analogy would be a flow of perfection and magic out onto the surrounding community. Not that I claim to be as good at the job as the tapirs, but that is what I'm trying to do here.
And I don't remember if it was Olga's book or my own ideas while watching the discovery channel or something, but the human genome has been analyzed, you know, and they say that a small piece of our DNA makes up everything they can see : bones, blood, meat, the entire human being according to "science". They say the vast majority of our genome is "junk DNA", bits and pieces that are similar to the pieces of the main part, just sitting there "for no reason". Scientists are as silly as a snowflake at the center of a cloud who thinks that he is separate from the cloud, the cloud is something to ignore, say doesn't exist, get rid of, and when the evidence appears that he is actually the precipitate at the center of this "enemy" or "unreality", he just says that must be his "junk DNA" that has nothing to do with anything.
It may very well have been Olgas shaman thought that told her that these "spirits of trauma", these demons, that the shaman collects, are the objects on the junk DNA. Going on this theory, I am attempting to add to my genome, by eating other people's demons. I have noticed an ability to transmit demons between schizophrenics. I read the book called "into the half light", and acquired some demons. Suspending disbelief and going with this theory, the patients in the schizophrenia ward who talk to eachother enthusiastically about their demons in the demon world are sharing demons, they are multiplying, more efficiently than if we each just paired off and had kids. Which is why I love talking to schizophrenics, either all over the internet, to transmit and multiply, to collect whatever I can, and I can acquire them reading. I once went to a used bookstore in Haigh Ashbury, eventually had a long talk with the expansivelyâminded woman who has run the store for 35 years, and ultimately told her I was here to "eat demons", to collect the spirits in the books, and that what I was looking for was not books on shamanism, because I am a shaman already and can do that on my own, and not exactly books on psychiatry, but the MEMOIRS OF SCHIZOPHRENICS, because in these there is almost always "tapir food", or demon dreams, and that the other way to get what I am looking for is the mind of the average two yeaold, but they don't write books.
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