ok.
1) personally, I really don't think you need to be having sex at your age (and yes, oral sex is sex. its not intercourse, but it is considered sexual activity, and there is no need for someone in Junior High to be sexually active)you should really think about what you are doing.
take a moment and look at the relationship you are in. do you see it going anywhere? do you see yourself staying with this girl for a long time? how long? 6 months? a year? 4 years? a lifetime? Lastly, think about what will happen when you do start taking part in sexual activities, and maybe full sex one day. will you regret having sex with this person? if the relationship does end, will you regret that you had sex with them, instead of waiting for someone that will last longer?
you really shouldn't be thinking about having sex unless you are serious about this relationship. and at your age, relationships are rarely as serious as they should be for sex.
2) I can't give you advice really, considering usually it depends on the girl and what she likes. my boyfriend just does the same thing he does with his fingers pretty much, and that works wonderfully for me.
3) are you 4 inches erect or not erect? I know my boyfriend seems a lot smaller non erect, but he's much bigger when it matters. and considering that you are still young and aren't even fully grown yet, I wouldn't expect you to be any bigger than you are right now. you still have time to grow.

Gotta agree with skinandbonesx here, not that I really want you to take this offensively, but girls at that age tend to have a "flavor of the week" as girls used to call it when I was back in HIGH SCHOOL. Can't imagine it being any better at all in middle school.

You don't want to be getting any STDs just because you found a girl back in 8th grade that you thought was cute. What's going to happen when you get into a real, loving relationship with another girl when you're an adult, and you find out you got a deadly STD from that girl so many years ago? Really, you should rethink this.

Honestly, a girl shouldn't care about size, though I'd go with skinandbonesx on this one as well. You've got time, kid.

thanks for ur ideas and advice. i know she doesnt have any diseases though. i just dont really know any techniques cause its my first at bats. i know to finger her when she starts getting into it but thats about it. and to kiss down her stomach first for anticipation. but i dont know many details.

It's sort of a "Do what comes naturally" kind of thing. If she's a virgin, or hasn't been with anyone else that has done this kind of thing to her, then she will be in the same boat as you, and not really know how to do it. All I can say is, if you're REALLY going to go through with it, then don't expect immediate results, or to be amazing at on the first try.