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Relationships > Relationships and Marriage Forum > opened up emotionally and got rejected...
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Q: opened up emotionally and got rejected...
asked by: hrtz2mch on March 5th, 2008
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i come from an emotionally detached family, we dont open up about our deep feelings and the things most people would want to talk bout, but my current bf has been helping me with that, an i can feel things again, which is good...i knw i can tell him anything, its jus the matter that sometimes i have to sit on it for awhile b4 i approach him w/ it...an the other day i did have something that i needed to open up to him bout, it was about my past and the sexual abuse i had to deal w/ for 17 years..he already knew that i was abused in this way, but ive never been able to talk about it b4, an then the other day i jus felt like i needed to get it off my chest, so when he got online after work i msged him on aim...(sometimes its easier for me to type my feelings then to talk them out in person or on the phone, especially if its something really deep)...an i had told him that i need him to jus listen while i get this all out, so i started opening up an we were talking, an it was feeling really good to get this stuff out finally...so i continued on with it all, then when i was done telling him everything he had IMed me saying "f*** you" an then he signed off...and at this point im feeling alone an rejected and yet im raging mad too, so i waste no time in calling him, and his sister answered the phone and told me he was at the bowling alley that i should call his cell, i called his sell and sure enough he was at the bowling alley an had been there for bout a 1/2 hr....and i was so mad i snapped at him, but as it turns out his crazy ex was on under his sn...an she was the one i was talking to the whole time...she was pretending to be him, and he had no idea wat was going on, i hung up the phone an went to work and came home later that nite an he called me, and he want me to open up again an tell him everything that i had actually told he ex....i couldnt do, i literally jus shut down..so we jus agree to do it another nite....this was 8 days ago, and even when i approach him to retalk bout it, i still end up shutting down......i have no idea y and no idea how to get over it....any advice???
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Willa Weintraub
replied on March 10th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
Wow, this is tough. Esp. the type of situation you were in isn't cool and I can definitely undertand why it would be so hard for you to talk about. You just have to get the courage to talk to him again.I think as long as he lets you know that you'll be there for him you'll soon come around. have you thought maybe about going to see a therapist? It may be easier for you to talk to a total stranger. I hope things get better for you and if you ever need to talk go ahead and PM me Smile
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hrtz2mch
replied on March 10th, 2008
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hes giving me the space an time, so that i can come to him again when im ready...but this time it will b over the phone not the computer...he understands that its hard, its mostly me beating myself up over this cuz i want to reopen up, but jus need time....ive been to 7 therapists, an with each one i would take several step backwards an jus kepting goin downhill from there, so im jus working on it in my own way...thx for the help Smile
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Willa Weintraub
replied on March 11th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
Well i'm glad he is so understanding with you and I really hope things work out in your favor and you can get things off your chest hun! Like I said, if you ever need to talk you can always PM me Wink
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fiona05
replied on March 26th, 2008
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wow, when i was reading that my first thought was 'someone else got on his account'. even before you confirmed it. that's awful you opened up in that way for that to happen! well you need to get him to change all his passwords so nothing like that ever happens again. this girl sounds like a psycho. make sure he cuts off all ties with her so you don't have to worry about her interfering again. i suppose it will just take a time for you to have the confidence to share those things again. give it time.
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