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Q: Open relationship boundaries
asked by: kerryn on April 17th, 2008
Experienced User
My partner and i have been dating for about 13 months. Im bi-sexual, and our relationship is open- we can sleep with anyone we like so long as we dont trade each other in. Recently, hes found a girl hed like to sleep with, which is fine except that shes getting a little too close to him. She tells people hes close enough to being hers, and he has lately been telling people he has two girlfriends. This was not part of the agreement, also he spends a lot more time with her than he does with me. We arent very touchy-feely, but he and her are and im worried that its gone past just being a physical attraction. He also says the only things stopping him dating her is me and his family (they know her and there is bad air there). I dont know how to tell him that i cant handle him saying things like that, and i want to know exactly how he feels about her, but i dont know how to ask. i feel so betrayed and hurt. Im also currently 31 wks pregnant. What do i do, and how do i talk to him about this?
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coliejo
replied on April 17th, 2008
Active User, very eHealthy
i would just come right out and tell him how you feel, he needs to respect the way you feel. you are 31 weeks pregnant, you do not need that much stress around you. and maybe you could try not having an open relationship anymore, it sounds like that is the reason you are having all this trouble.
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Willa Weintraub
replied on April 17th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
I think your type of relationship would be fun for a while but when it comes down to it and your serious about each other wouldn't you want him all to yourself? I think there comes a time when enough is enough, and it sounds like thats now. You need to talk to him about how you feel and find out what you need to know to get everything in order.
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kerryn
replied on April 17th, 2008
Experienced User
im going to try to talk to him today, ill let you know how it goes, and thankyou for your support
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coliejo
replied on April 17th, 2008
Active User, very eHealthy
good luck, i hope everything works out for the best for you and your baby.
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Willa Weintraub
replied on April 18th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
I also hope everything works out. Please make sure you give an update. Smile Good luck sweetie!
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kerryn
replied on April 19th, 2008
Experienced User
i spoke to him, and told him that i was scared they were getting too attached, and he said that he might act like theyre together, but hes only got one girlfriend and thats me. also he had an arguement with her and she asked what he wanted from her and he said friendship and respect, nothing more. hes also less touchy-feely with her which is good, so im happy and things are good between us again
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coliejo
replied on April 19th, 2008
Active User, very eHealthy
thats good to hear, I'm glad talking to him helped! I just hope things stay this way for you, good luck in the rest of your pregnancy.
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kerryn
replied on April 19th, 2008
Experienced User
so do i! thankyou for your support
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Willa Weintraub
replied on April 21st, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
I'm glad everything is back to normal for you!
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