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Taylore Marie

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One Girl Revolution
Posted: 05-19-08 19:19pm

So I'm back. I published a note ("My Coming out Story") awhile back about coming out of the closet, a story that I hoped to publish but never did. Well, after much reflection and heartache, I am now living as a mtf transgender and this is my story, and it will be made public tomorrow...

One Girl Revolution:
A Story of Perseverance
The Biography of Taylore Nguyen
Dedicated to my mom, my hero, my best friend

Once upon a time, two decades ago, a very special girl was born unto the world. Early by nearly three months and dangerously underweight, it was a miracle that she survived her mother’s pregnancy. She, however, was also tenacious and resilient, determined to overcome her difficult circumstances and the obstacles which continue to plague her life. At five, she faced the harsh reality of her premature birth, held back in kindergarten for delayed mental development. At fourteen, she nearly drowned, the would-be-victim of a water ride gone bad. These events, though, were of no comparison to her most significant hindrance—she was born in the wrong body. Biologically male, her parents and teachers were concerned with her gravitation towards dolls and dresses, typical facets of the opposite gender. Unfortunately, as she grew older, as she endured teasing from her peers and religious condemnation from her superiors, she was forced to hide in the recesses of a pink-painted room and a mountain of Barbies. Life, however, would become exponentially worse, as she struggled to suppress her misconstrued gender identity, but steadfast and hopeful, she wanted to bear her burden and find an absolution to her misery. Prevailing over most of her initial impediments, she eventually rose to the top of her class, was accepted into a gifted and talented program, and became an excellent swimmer. Sadly, however, her transgender tendencies would not cease. Alone, ashamed, and hurt, she lapsed into depression, developing a profound self-hated, behind the façade of a forced smile. Now, at twenty, she has made a choice; she has chosen to make a complete transition to the opposite sex. I am that girl, and I want to share my story and do what I can to educate an uninformed society.


In this world, there are two types of people: people that love you and people that hate you. I have been living a lie for nearly twenty years, eager for an answer that could only be found within myself. In making this decision, I realize that losing family and friends is inevitable; hurtful things will be said and my life, from this point on, will test my patience as well as my physical and mental strength. I have stayed unhappy for too long, but I am willing to take the necessary risks to make the change; despising my existence has produced unbearable torment. I have cried the last of my tears over this issue, and I am ready to take the next step forward, with or without my family and friends. Personally, it is not about becoming a woman; it is about being a woman, the girl that has always been fighting for life within the confines of my body. Moreover, I am not, as a transsexual, any less of a human being; I am still passionate about my Christian faith, and I have the same interests as I had before. I am still Isaac Nguyen on the inside, but I am now living a life that is more fulfilling and meaningful. More importantly, if not most important, I do not think I was a mistake. I believe that this will not only be my attempt at changing my family and friends’ perceptions of the transgender community, but it will give me the opportunity to revolutionize the world. I will promote peace, unity, and, above all, tolerance for my fellow man and woman.


Psychologically, I suffer from Gender Dysphoria—an extreme dissatisfaction with one’s original sex. Yes, that means that transgenderism, also known as gender identity disorder, is considered to be a mental impairment. From the moment I tried to walk to my first day of school in my mother’s high heeled shoes, to the time, in third grade, when I begged my teacher to let me change my costume from “Billy” to “Betty” in our production of “The Billy Goat’s Gruff,” I had been the victim of a documented medical condition. Furthermore, as I tell my story, as I open wounds, I hope that my readers will be able to understand that my disorder is not a mental fabrication that I invented spontaneously—I did not wake up one day and decide that I wanted to become a woman; I have always been one.


As a child, before I was able to distinguish (sexually) between a boy and a girl, I was ignorant to the gender norms constituted by society. At the initial stages of my education, I considered myself to be an “outie” while the girls I identified with were “innies,” and I was convinced, at that time, that my physiological dilemma would eventually work itself out. One day, I believed, I would transform into the girl that I was supposed to be, but, to my dismay, that day never arrived. What is more, as my education progressed, I was becoming more consumed with my fantasies, daydreams in which I would be whisked away by the handsome prince I had seen on the Disney movies I had grown to adore. I longed for a fairy tale ending, to be a princess and to frolic in a field of daisies without a care in the world. The more, I openly expressed my desire to trade my breeches for a blouse, however, the more concerned those around me, especially my parents, became. In fourth grade, to my surprise, I saw my Barbies sold to the brat next door, and, with that, at least to my mom and dad, the end of my days as the little boy standing in the living room with a fairy suit on and curlers in his hair. This was far form the end though.


By the time I was in middle school, I learned that "gay" was no longer just a reference to that one song on “West Side Story” and that it had nothing to do with being "happy." Transgender people, I was told, were “freaks of nature,” rebels to implicit gender roles. People criticized the way I talked, behaved, and dressed, and for first time, I really felt that my life was a mistake. “Isaac, your favorite color can't be pink; Isaac, you can't wear that shirt; Isaac, you write too neat.” It seemed like all that defined who I was, all that made me unique, was wrong. Bullying was enough to make me lie, and when confronted with the "Are you gay or straight?" question, I would reply that I was straight, that I liked girls, and that I was not the raging homosexual they made me out to be. Besides that, I could not betray my religion or my parents. Mom and Dad had sacrificed too much for me to end up disappointing them, and the thought of deceiving my faith was devastating.


I reached a point, in my life, where I believed that being gay or transgender was equivalent to being a Satanist. After all, it was “Adam and Eve” not “Adam and Steve,” and the idea of manipulating my body in anyway was unacceptable. In any case, I left middle school giving the impression of being the sensitive, not into girls yet guy; People liked me, and I was convinced that by the time I reached high school, I would become the next metro-sexual superstar. I have learned, though, that metro was me just trying to avoid who I really was— a woman. I envied my female friends, emulating their behavior, and daydreamed of a time in which I could wear headbands, sundresses, and earrings; I wanted my nightmare to end.


The first day of Freshmen English, I entered with a light blue jacket, a textbook in hand. It was there that I learned I made a crucial mistake. I had put one of those light blue covers over my book—the ones you can get at Wal-Mart for a dollar—and had been questioned by a classmate about it. Then, when asked about my "valley girl" accent, I realized that I had entered the ninth circle of hell. That day, I decided that suppression was the only way I could save myself from the cruelty and humiliation I would be subjected to by my peers. One day, my senior year, however, drenched in tears, feeling empty and painfully alone, I confessed everything to my mother, taking the first steps towards a new life.


College was and remains a journey of self-realization. Heading in as a Mathematics major, I completed my first semester convinced that English, instead, was where my passion lies. It was a man in a pony tail—with an office that could pass for a dungeon in the Harry Potter series—that convinced me otherwise. College Writing Two, which I thought was going to be dreadful—one of those classes where the students pretend to pay attention but, in reality, are texting their boyfriends and girlfriends—surprisingly, surpassed my expectations. Lectures evolved into engaging discussions, as we explored gruesome topics: death, depression, and all of the other aspects which characterize gothic literature and film. The morbidity of it all somehow attracted me. Perhaps it was seeing and reading about characters that faced equally, if not more, tragic obstacles than me. Perhaps it was escaping from the normalcy of the world and of my other classes; one did not have to be politically correct, expecting censorship and educational ethics to detract from the subject at hand. What caught my attention the most, however, was the central theme of class and of the gothic: one who does not recognize and prevail over a particular inner struggle will be consumed by it. Suddenly, the gothic literature that I had read, the movies that I had watched, all started relating to my life. Was I, eventually, going to be the victim of transgenderism (which at the time, I thought was homosexuality)? Was I going to let my own inner struggle lead me down a path of destruction, used as another statistic to the rates of depression and suicide to which so many of those like me contributed? With these questions constantly plaguing my mind, I decided to research transgenderism and homosexuality, hopefully finding a solution to my problem.


As I searched for a topic that I could use in writing my fifteen page research paper, I wondered if writing about something as difficult as homosexuality or transgenderism would be, at my level, realistic. After I encountered Gwen Araujo’s story, however, I decided to take the risk. In October of 2002, Gwen Araujo, a transgender teenager, was murdered by a group of men after they had discovered that she was male; she was perfect for a real life analysis. After several trips to the public library, I found fifteen sources that I planned to use in my paper. All associated with gender-related issues, I was certain that I had picked the books, magazines, and newspaper articles that would produce a decent paper. To my disappointment, however, my professor, the one who had praised my other written work, expressed his disapproval with my finished product. He said that I had erred—I was intertwining homosexual and transgender issues when, in reality, the two were fundamentally different. Gay men and women are dissatisfied with standard sexual orientation but accept their physical self. Transgender people are unhappy, in most cases, with both orientation and their physical bodies, seeking to change their appearance and adopt the roles of the opposite sex. Subsequently, after learning the difference between the two, I wondered whether or not I had made a mistake in thinking that I was gay.


Reflecting on my situation, after watching a documentary, I came to the conclusion that I was transgender. All of my life, I dreamed of the day I would be a woman. I put on dresses, painted my nails, and made an effort, since a young age, to escape from the world of blue in which I was born. I was not only interested in men; I was interested in being a woman. My childhood and teenage crushes only made life more difficult, as I watched boys my age, boys that I had become friends with and wanted to date, become involved in relationships with my girl friends, girls that, secretly, made me jealous. They could have what they wanted; I could not. In college, I faced one of the most difficult challenges of my life—I fell in love. He was everything that I imagined, everything that I wanted in man. He was smart, funny, passionate, bold, all of the things that any girl wants, but I could not have him. I forced myself to keep my feelings hidden, each day, longing for him to love me back but knowing that he never would. After dealing with the fact that he had found a girlfriend, with which I am not completely done dealing, I decided that it was time for me to turn my dreams into reality. I had suffered enough, and a broken heart pushed me to the next level.


I am now ready to make the transition to being a woman (getting mentally evaluated, receiving hormone therapy, and lastly, having sex reassignment surgery), and I am not doing this for anyone else but myself. I am done being concerned about other’s opinions. I am done feeling sorry for myself. For those of you who read this, who have actually made it this far in my paper, I ask that you open minds and hearts and try to understand that I am dealing with something with which I can no longer conceal. I have made every attempt to ignore and restrain my desires, but I can do it no more. If you cannot bring yourself to continue being my friend or family member, it is ok. I will do this with or without you. For those of you, that have decided to support me, I, first all, thank you; you are my backbone. Also, I am not asking for your complete acceptance; this is a big change, and as such, adjusting to it, for anyone, is a gradual process. For anyone going through this, or similar issues, I know that life, right now, seems hard, unbearable even, but together, if we stand strong, we can overcome our difficulties. Together, we can change the world. I ask for your love, for your patience as I begin my life as a one girl revolution.
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Users who thank Taylore Marie for this post: marvel  homerx 
marvel

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Posted: 05-20-08 09:12am

That was amazing, my friend. I read every single word. You are going to change the world! I can feel it.

I admire your strength, and I am so proud of you.

I wish you nothing but the greatest of results personally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. You deserve it.

You're not alone! I'm here rooting for you.

Thank you so much for keeping us updated!
-Zak
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homerx

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Posted: 05-20-08 10:15am

forsakenhope...you ROCK!!! yes cartwheel yes headstand yes cartwheel amazing story....touching and just great! yes yes headstand cartwheel
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Taylore Marie

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Posted: 05-27-08 22:34pm

Well guys, today has been one of the worst days of my continuing journey. This past weekend, I was yelled, no, screamed at by my VERY religious uncle. He really hurt me, and I've lost all hope of having my dad's support. My finances have been cut off, and some of the people that supported me, initially, now tell me that I might "burn" for my decision. Gosh, today, I faced criticism twice over and I think I cried enough tears to fill an ocean, but I think I'm ok. My transition has been slowed down, but I have to accept it. I'm no longer allowed to "dress up" around my father, and my mom has gone from supporter to lukewarm...sigh. I just hope people realize that I HAVE BEEN praying about this, and,in fact, my faith has only grown stronger. I honestly believe that I was put on this earth to disrupt the world's biases and to campaign for UNCONDITIONAL love, but they don't see that....
Sorry guys...I had to rant. My life is not going well at the moment, but I shall prevail...........................I hope. ^^
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homerx

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Posted: 05-28-08 08:02am

forsakenhope...You poor kid.. Sad I am so sorry you are going threw this. It sucks. Family Rolling Eyes the ones that are supposed to teach us unconditional love are the same ones that put conditions on love. Wink I dont know if unconditional love even exists sometimes. Its a hard world out there and everyone needs a soft spot to lay there heads. I am so sorry that your parents are letting your inflexible right wing religious uncle take that away from you. That is what upsets me about the "moral"majority and the religious right. They hurt innocent people with there bigotry and hatred for people who are different then they are. It makes me so mad Mad
Please try to keep your head up and your spirit high, don't let any one bring you down or make you miserable. Although it may not seem like it now, this will pass. And you have to realize that there are going to be some casualties in life with this. I have certain aunts and uncles and now my mother who never talk to me at all and that is because I am gay and it doesn't fit into there perfect straight world box. I can imagine how hard it must be for you... respect Be strong. Dont get down. If you are getting help for collage from them then I pray that they continue to help pay for your education..Have they read your story? Maybe they should... Confused We are here any time you need to vent or talk you can come to us. Be strong. At 20 years old you may have to make some radical changes in your life ...like moving away from them and putting your transition on hold until you finish collage and have the $$$ to pay for it.
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marvel

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Posted: 05-29-08 12:07pm

Hey!
Don't you apologize for coming on here and ranting! That's what we're here for:)

I'm truly truly amazed at how, even though you're having such a terrible time, you're still putting a positive spin on it. You're realising how it's making you and your faith stronger. So many young people who are discovering their true selves (whether it be their sexuality, their gender etc), allow this sort of stuff to completely devastate them. But not you!

You are one tough cookie.
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Users who thank marvel for this post: Taylore Marie 
Taylore Marie

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Posted: 06-05-08 22:18pm

Update!
First of all, I want to thank all of you for your support. It really means so much! Ok, so the other day I went to my university, which is predominately Catholic, and explained my situation. Well, guess what? Although I can't live in the women's wing officially, I was given a room--in the men's wing-- in between two empty rooms and have my own private bathroom (to accompany my "specia"l needs)! Also, while I can't use the women's restroom, the staff told me where all of the family restrooms are located and everyone, as far as school officials, have been addressing me by Taylore, my female name, the name with which I most identify. These may be small steps, but at least they're steps in the right direction!

Much Love,
TAYLORE

I'll keep ya posted ^^
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Users who thank Taylore Marie for this post: homerx  Roberta777 
marvel

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Posted: 06-06-08 13:12pm

Ah! That's so exciting!! Way to go. I'm so glad to hear that they're being so accomodating!!!
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Beline

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Posted: 06-07-08 07:40am

Taylore, I read your OP last night but I didn’t respond because I couldn’t see my keyboard through the tears.

You are such a courageous young lady, my Love. I wish that I could have been there on the 27th to hold you and to dry your tears. You have a long road in front of you, but we will be there for you every step of the way.

Remember: these aren’t automated responses. The people replying to your posts are real people with real feelings. We will hold you in our thoughts and prayers and we truly care. Feel free to vent whenever you feel the need to do so. We are here to listen and support you in every way that we can.

Keep your head high, Taylore, but remember that you don’t always have to be strong. It is okay to feel vulnerable and to cry. God gave us tears to wash our souls clean.

Keep us posted.
All my love,
Max
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homerx

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Posted: 06-07-08 17:58pm

Beline wrote:
Taylore, I read your OP last night but I didn’t respond because I couldn’t see my keyboard through the tears.

You are such a courageous young lady, my Love. I wish that I could have been there on the 27th to hold you and to dry your tears. You have a long road in front of you, but we will be there for you every step of the way.

Remember: these aren’t automated responses. The people replying to your posts are real people with real feelings. We will hold you in our thoughts and prayers and we truly care. Feel free to vent whenever you feel the need to do so. We are here to listen and support you in every way that we can.

Keep your head high, Taylore, but remember that you don’t always have to be strong. It is okay to feel vulnerable and to cry. God gave us tears to wash our souls clean.

Keep us posted.
All my love,
Max
this is why I love you so much,Maxie Girl!!! luvcomp
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JYoungBear

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Posted: 06-09-08 13:20pm

Wow. That was quite the amazing story!!!

I'm glad to see that your university is supporting your needs as a transgender individual.

And I know what it's like to be hiding behind a lie - I have done it for 15 years of my life, and continue to do so at this present time. I am not prepared to tell those that I grew up with about my sexuality just yet, and am taking my time with doing so. There are only a select group of people that know at this time. If more find out through the grapevine, I'll deal with it then.

Even then, where I see how coming out is important, I have my own situation to take care of at this present time, and dealing with the anxiety of telling people is something I am not up to right now. But eventually.
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Lilly Ivy

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Posted: 06-13-08 00:02am

Wow. Amazing.

Kudos to you Taylore. I'm happy to hear you're college is helping you step in the right direction!

I wish you the best!!
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Taylore Marie

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Update!!
Posted: 06-21-08 23:06pm

Ok, so I'm sorry I haven't posted in awhile, but so much has happened since my last post. Not long after I had written my most recent entry, I decided to do something with my facebook. My friends had read my story, and I had overwhelming support. However, I still felt like I needed to do something more.

I decided, after a little reflection, to post a video, updating my friends and family as to how far I had come in my transition and my future as the girl that I always felt I should have been, my destiny you know?

Well, anyway, my video got another huge response. This time, though, all of it was not positive. I knew that a visual appeal to my friends might atract more of them, but I didn't realize, or maybe I didn't want to realize, that not all of my friends would be, or even remain supportive.

One of my closest friend's boy friend wrote a response so cruel it left me in tears, remarking, "Just because the world doesn't except you as male, doesn't mean it's right. You are spitting in God's face" among other hurtful words. Using my former name, he continued criticizing me and posted Bible verses in his defense (which, really, didn't turn out to be too much of a defense anyway).

Upon reading this, I messaged my friend, and below is our exchange of dialogue (names have been removed for privacy purposes)

Former Friends name,

As you may well know, Bofriend's name is not supportive of my decision, and I have made it clear that 1. I understand that he doesn't and 2. I'm not changing my mind. Now, as he is your boyfriend, I feel like this is an issue that we must also talk about and something with which we must put to an end.

First and foremost, I want you to know that I have considered the other perspective...for nearly twenty years; I have prayed about this issue and cried about it more times than you can imagine. I did not make this decision in one day as I'm sure you are already aware; it has been a gradual, and most difficult journey. However, I believe, truly, that this is the solution to my problems. I can, after all, love both God and myself.

I believe that the difficulty that I'm enduring, the troubles, and harsh words, are part of my cross to bear. I want people to learn to love, tolerate, and accept as the underlying message of the Christian faith is to love, not to judge, and in judging, a person is contradicting the element of love, the higher righteousness,which God asks us to make known to others.

Alot of people ask me, and you may be one of them, why I don't consider testostorone. Well, as I have the mindset of a woman, I do not see that as a possibility. I have identification with being male whatsoever. If you were in my position, could you take testostorone, could you manipulate yourself, changing the way of thinking that has always defined you?

Now Former friend's name, you are one of my best friends, like a sister, and I don't want to a ruin our friendship or for you to be put in the same position as you are with another friend's name, but please, realize that I have gone through enough, and the only people that can truly understand my particular circumstance are others facing the same issues. Please, let us remain friends, and if we can't come together in this issue, let us come together in others, ok?

Love,
Taylore


RESPONSE MESSAGE

Alrighty, first off, Boyfriend's name is not judging you. Judging is making assumptions based on ignorance. Trust me, Boyfriend's name is not ignorant. Grant it, he does not know the psychologial problems and hardships you have endured, but he has been down a rocky path too, one that most people (including myself) will probably never understand. That is besides the point.

Boyfriend's name is not judging you. He is not being rude to you. He is rebuking you. As Christians, we are supposed to rebuke our brothers gently. Trust me, Boyfriend's name is doing it gently. He is simply giving you his opinion, and he is showing you proof from the Bible. My former male name, if you post viedos and notes of yourself on the internet detailing your personal life, you are going to have those who do not agree with you. Most of the time, they do not post what they think. Boyfriend's name does. You should be thankful for that. You need other people's opinions than simply the ones who say they support you. Not everyone will, and it is wise to hear those opinions as well. Once we graduate, there are going to be a lot of understanding people, but there will be even more who are not okay with what has happened. That is reality, and that is the real world. What Boyfriend's name is doing and what others need to do is help you see this side of reality. My former male name, people are killed because of this. It isn't more than just changing your identity to fulfill worldy desires. People are murdered. That is scary. It really bothers Boyfriend's name with what you are about to do.

The fact that you delete his comments isn't wise. There are people who are going to contradict you. There are going to be people who don't want to hear what is going on with you. You have to get used to that. You can't always just post support on your Facebook. You need people who see the other side as well. People who see you more often; people who have a greater understanding with what you are going through because they spend more time around you. We will never know exactly what you are going through, I know that. But we do know that as friends, as Christians, we are supposed to help you see the other side.

Yes, Christianity is about love. Loving your neighbor as yourself--that doesn't mean support him no matter what. It doesn't mean judge him. Boyfriend's name isn't judging--he is rebuking. God still loves you no matter what, but he will not like your decision. You are who you are for a reason. I will love you no matter what, though I may not be okay with what you are going to do. Trust me when I say: Boyfriend's name is not judging you! He is rebuking you; he is giving you another point of view that others will not. I would be thankful for that.

As for another friend's name, don't even mention that. It's too painful of a situation and I went through too much crap to even THINK about it.

My former male name, Boyfriend;s name is not judging you. I would take heed to what he is telling you, because it is what a lot people would like to say, but you refuse to hear it.

MY RESPONSE

Former friend's name,

Boyfriend's name is judging my decision, therefore, he is judging me. Ok, so he's rebuking me. Good for him, and good for you for sticking by him, but can you honestly say that you, yourself, have considered the other side of the argument? I have been dealing with this a long time and have had plenty of opportunities to do my research and find my own road, but, up until recently, you weren't even aware that I was going through this. Please, don't say that I refuse to hear it.

It is difficult as many of my friends are not experiencing the hardships that I face, but remember we will judged on the decisions we make in life, and yes, I will pay the consequences if there are any.

BTW, I deleted his initial comments, however, I have kept all of the rest on display for the rest of the facebook to see.

However, I advise you, I urge you, to read this article and the other if you haven't already read it. Don't ask me to consider something if you aren't willing to do the same.

Love,
Taylore

Overall, this exchange of dialogue was very hard to read and respond to, but I tried my best. My former friend and her boyfriend, and this is what gets me the most, are two people's whose lifestyles most certainly contradict aspects of Christianity, yet I do not feel the need to bring up those issues to them; why do they bring this issue up with me? What is more, my former friend repeated over and over again that she supported me, or was at last going to try her very best to, prior to writing this note, and all of a sudden, she flips out on me!? I don't get it. I mean I really thought we had an understanding; we always have, but now, it seems like our friendship couldn't endure it. Needless to say, I had plenty of friend's stick up for me.

I really wish I had all the courage that people keep telling me that I have, but somehow, I always let the few negative things said about me to ruin my day. I wish they could understand that this is not just what I want; it's not just a worldly desire; it is something that I need..to survive.

Until next time,
Taylore

PS: thanks for all the nice comments guys!
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Roberta777

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Dear Taylore,
Posted: 06-21-08 23:22pm

I have just been able to open my house and tolerate a cooler temperature. It has been 112 degrees here for 5 days. Finally, thank God, it is now normal.

All I can say, is I became Catholic later in life and people for the very most part have been more than nice to me.

Glad for your accommodations at school.

I believe you are trying a bit too hard to convince your relatives of your choice. Please forgive me for that. Maybe they don't want to hear it, or cannot hear it because of their own belief systems.

Just do your own thing. No hurt, no harm.

Bobbie
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Taylore Marie

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Posted: 06-21-08 23:29pm

^^
Thanks for the response. It' pretty hot here in Kansas....-_-''
Yeah, sometimes, I think I might be pressing a little too hard as far as acceptance is concerned; it' just the false hope that I am still having a hard time dealing with.

Have a good summer Bobbie!
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homerx

Moderator
Joined: 03 Jan 2008
Posts: 3815
Location: Earth..usually, USA
Thanks: 515
Thanked:1435

Posted: 06-22-08 00:28am

Dont lose that hope, it isn't false, you can make it real. One Girl Revolution! You can do anything! yes cartwheel headstand
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Beline

Supporter
Joined: 01 Mar 2008
Posts: 499
Location: , South Africa
Thanks: 131
Thanked:150

Posted: 06-22-08 16:13pm

The problem with intelligence is that it often comes with sensitivity. Taylore, you need to hold on. You are going to loose friends and family - that is a fact. And I know saying things like ‘you will make new ones that will accept you for who you are’ and ‘focus on the friends that support you’ are not going to help.
Your friends are your friends because you love them. It’s hard to loose them because they make out such a big part of our lives. We need them to keep us secure in the fact that we are loved and accepted. To loose a friend is very, very painful. I’ve lost friends. It hurts like hell.
You’ve come very far, my girl, and you are moving in the right direction. You’ve changed you appearance, and you’ve changed your name. I want to ask you now to change your username too. Forsaken hope is not very becoming for a courageous girl like you.
I really do admire your inner strength.
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marvel

Supporter
Joined: 09 Sep 2007
Posts: 1104
Location: Toronto, Ontario (but only a private message away)
Thanks: 50
Thanked:8

Posted: 06-22-08 21:41pm

You're brilliant, Taylore.

You're not always going to get approval. It's very important to not operate on the premise that approval is important. Not that I'm saying you have been, but, as Roberta said, you don't need to depend so much on it. You're you... that's that. Take it or leave it. There are plenty of takers, believe me!

I am so insulted by what your former friend has said. It is not our duty as human beings to continuously rebuke people based on our own selfish belief systems. The simplest thing is to love and nurture everyone, especially those who we see going through some pretty tough stuff (like you have). If, in the end, they're making a decision that we don't approve of... that doesn't matter, because they know that we love them regardless. We love them! Isn't that much more important than whether or not they're right!? So many people equate rebuking with loving, but it's so not true. The world would be so different if everyone knew they were loved.

Just think, though. You're right AND you're loved. Smile
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Taylore Marie

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Dec 2007
Posts: 26
Location: , KS
Thanks: 9
Thanked:3

Posted: 06-22-08 22:55pm

^^
Thank you so much guys! It's so comforting to find support here. Slowly, I'm getting stronger; slowly, I'm moving on. Sometimes, I wish I could just leave Kansas, but right now, that's not an option. It feels like I've erased a life, but I've kept the eraser shavings. Does that make sense? Anyway, once again, thank you for everything. You guys really make a difference in my life.....really.

PS: Beline, I will change my username. Now, it's just a matter of thinking of a good one lol.
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Lilly Ivy

Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Aug 2007
Posts: 1686
Location: Newell, WV
Thanks: 65
Thanked:110

Posted: 06-23-08 05:31am

I'm not very good at encouraging words, but I would like you to know I completely support you in what you are doing. Knowledge is power, and it drives me insane when people judge before they know what's going on (or judging at all really). I wish you the best of luck!!

P.S. I LOVE your name, Taylore!
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