On thin ice. Yesterday, I got the ultimatum.

Hi 60053, i, too have bipolar disorder and have had my fair share of episodes. You sound like you're having a manic episode. Are you medication for it? Are you seeking counseling and a psychiatrist? that would be the best help for you. If you're on something now, then maybe you need a better medication or a better dosage. Have your wife go to a session with you so she can understand as well on what you're going through. Also, talk about it with her and let her know how you feel. Take care!

I appreciate your response.
I am currently on no medication. Yes, I am seeking a psychiatrist and/or counseling of any sort.

You're welcome, and let me know if you need anything else.

[UPDATE]
it's been nearly 3 months since this i posted my original post. so i felt a little update was in order.

i was recently release from a psych ward (sunday) for trying to commit suicide.

it all happened july 2nd, i was on a drinking binge. about a 12 pack of beers every night and at least 2 pain killers every night also until finally thursday the 5th i slit my wrists but passed out because of the alcohol. turns out i luckily didn't cut deep enough and i finally decided to go to a crisis control at my local hospital.

i was admitted and they recommended. i enroll in this program. my anxiety skyrocketed but my wife told me it was for the best.

i was able to let go at that moment and cry a river to all the nurses. i didn't enjoy my stay but i learned more from my life than i have in the past 23 years.

some of the people there inspired me that life is awesome if your perpesctive is shooting in the right direction.

i am currently on prescription medicine.
Celexa, Vistaril and Ambien.

Ambien has been giving me mild hallucinations, not horrifying hallucinations but far fetched hallucinations that make me giggle 5 minutes before i go to sleep. I refused to tell the doctor about them since Ambien is so cheap compared to other medicines.

I am very happy to be alive.