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Ok I am beginning to freak out !!!

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Im not totally freaked but my issues are beginning to consume me. I stop working at 38 wks, well thats my plan. Daniel is going to be the sole provider for us until I go back to work. I plan on staying home for 3 months...God willing. It will be daniel and I, the baby and my 14 yr old brother. We dont live fancy or anything and our monthly bills dont exceed 2,000.00 most of the time. But the problem is daniel doesnt have a job and hasnt had a steady job since last year. He has contributed but not much. I make enough money for all of us with my job that I have now. Thats why we have been able to survive.

Im just really really scared that we wont be able to make it. What if he doesnt have a job by the time I go on leave? I dont want to leave my baby as soon as he is born. It makes me sick just thinkin about it. He has done everything to get a job (I have seen for myself) but nothing yet.

Another thing is I will have to rely on him for money and support and I do not like that idea. I know it sounds horrible cause I love him with my whole heart. But I have also had a steady job since I was 16 yrs old. I have always supported myself and I have never needed anyone before. I sound so cocky huh? I dont mean to its just that this is how my life has been. Now I wont have anything. Man this is stressful.

How did you women cope with all this? This is my 1st baby and I know it cant be as bad as I am thinking, but I really dont know what the hell is going to happen. Did you guys make it? What did you do for money? How did you handle asking for help? I am just totally unprepared for this...lol

Wow I have written so much already. I know there are so many women on here that have done it and have excelled...can you pass on some of that knowledge? Man this is scary!
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replied July 23rd, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
Wow! How far are you? Hopefully he can find something by the time you have this baby, or you guys are going to have a really hard time trying to make ends meet. Do you have a back up plan? Do you have anything saved up so you can rely on that just in case?
Have you applied for federal aid such as WIC or Medicade so that it will help you out just a little bit? Depending on what type of work he does, has he considered doing temporary work? Im sure that there is some type of temporary agency that would be able to give him a temp job for now just so that he can bring home some money to save up. You never know if it might lead to a permanant job.

I hope you get things worked out before your baby comes.
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replied July 23rd, 2008
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I used to have a savings account. But due to him not working all my money is spent on bills and food. I literally make just enough to cover all bills. We wanted to save money but how can I when I have to use all my money? The only back up plan I have is to go back to work immediately. I havent applied for Medcaid or anything yet because for one I make too much and for two I am still trying to get all the necessary documentation. I make enough for a family of 3...or so they say. State guidelines are a joke!

He is working w/2 temp agencys right now. So hopefully we get a call soon. I dont know. Ever since he injured his knee things have been like this. He works for a couple months and then the job ends. he was in the Union but with his injury he cant do the work anymore. He made big money and we were so well off while he was in the union. I know they would have taken care of us, but what can you do.
I just hope he does something soon. Hell work at circle k or something! I guess I just hate being so powerless.

We have friends and we have family to count on if worst came to worst. I hope that wont happen but at least I know we wont be on the street. If only he had a job. This whole situation wouldnt be so bad.
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replied July 23rd, 2008
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Doesn't your company offer some sort of paid maternity leave? I know not all companies are the same, but I got 6 weeks paid when I had Kaylee. I then used 2 weeks of vacation and went back when she was 8 weeks old.

I'm not going to lie, it will be very difficult if he doesn't find a job. To ask you to go back to work right after giving birth is just insane. Many mothers have no choice, unfortunately. But if you could avoid that at all costs, that would be best for both you and baby.
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replied July 23rd, 2008
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Well I had to leave my job of 6 years in February. Mostly because I was under so much stress and it wasnt a healthy enviornment. I was 2 months pregnant when I left that company. It was the best thing I could have done. I removed so much stress from my life and to me that was the most important thing. I would have paid maternity leave just like you if I stayed. but like I said it was getting too stressful for me. Now I think I should have stayed there if only for the paid time off. But I probably would have had a more stressful pregnancy.

So I have been with this company for about 4-5 months...since Feb. They dont offer paid leave or the FMLA cause I havent been here long enough and I dont have enough Vacation and sick time to make much of a difference. They are offering my job back though even if I stay gone 3 months so thats good.

I am just praying that everything works out. Things sure took a turn for the worst and it seemed like they did as soon as we got pregnant...crazy how life just throws things at you. Daniel worked like I said for a long time. he was injured and left out of work in October. In February life got back on track and we were caught up with bills and every thing was so nice. We got out of the rut we were in.

Then March 31 a gas grill blew up in in face and he was hospitilized and out for work for 2 wks. his employer fired him and threw us out that next week. Our 15,000 car was stolen the night of the accident. Since then he hasnt had a steady job and we have been barely making it. So it got hard then it got really good and now its just staying hard...lol.
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replied July 23rd, 2008
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Well when it rains it pours.

My job doesnt offer paid maternaty, that would be really nice. I have to pay for short term disability so that when I do go out on maternaty leave I can get 70% of my salary. At my old job, I had to pay for short term and they only offered me 60% and I could only take 6 weeks of leave. Now I can take up to 6 months if I wish.

It must be nice to work for a company that pays you to take your maternaty leave. Where can I sign up?

Something will come along. Things have a way of working themselves out.
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Users who thank tues0974 for this post: Rosie H 

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replied July 23rd, 2008
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Yeah the STD is a great thing to invest in. Good thing you did. At least that insures some income...for 6 months too??? That is great.

This new company offers that but my pregnancy was considered a pre-existing condition! Insurance companies are snakes and they love to make technicalities so they dont have to pay. But like you said things have a way of working out.

The times I have felt hopeless daniel has somehow come through. We got 500.00 from an insurance settlement when I couldnt pay the rent and he got his stimilus check when we needed food and gas. So I guess I just have to have more faith huh?
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replied July 23rd, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
I always have to have faith, because you have to go though the hard times to get to the great times.
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replied July 25th, 2008
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what did I tell you...Daniel got a job today...woo hoo!!!!

as soon as I freak out something happens. I just need to stop freaking out huh?

thanks for all the support. It really helped me get a grip on things.
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replied July 25th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
Like I said, everything has a way of working out.

Hopefully he will be able to stay with this job and it will work out for him.
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