Medical Questions > Womens Health > Sexual Health - Women Forum

Numb feeling during sex

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I have posted something exactly like this before but i didnt get alot of replys, i was thinking it was because i didnt provide alot of info.
Anyways i am a 16 yearold female and have been having sex/sexual stuff since i was 13-14. You may think this is bad, but i thought i was "in love" turns out i was wrong. Anywho, since then i have been with 2 other guys, and they have had normal size penis'. I have yet to get any good feeling from any sort of penatration, (spelt right?). I dont enjoy fingering, or sex. I have done it over a 100 times, but i have felt nothing at all. Its almsot like it is numb. I have asked my girlfriends and they said they dont have this problem so they can not help me. I have tried many positions, evem this cream stuff that is suppose to make the climax better or reach one. I have told my recent boyfriend who has been with other girls before about my problem and he said he would be patient and try to make me feel right. We have tried many things, but yet to achieve anything. He definitly means alot to me and to see him sad about him not fulfilling my needs hurts me. Even though i do not like sex i still do it for my man. I was hoping the more i do it somthing will happen, thats why i tried so often. I hear all my girlfriends say that their sex with their boyfriends is amazing and special, but i dont have that feeling. Its numb! It hurts in my stomach somtimes! and i know for sure its not an STD because i have only been with virgins before and i have seen my doctor a few times about stuff. The only thing that feels good is foreplay and .. when hes super horny and i wont give him any he sorta dryhumps for a second to try to turn me on ahaha, cute. Anyways. i would like an honest opinion, ill take anyones opinions and ideas on how to help me. I would rather do somthing thats in my ability right now, (pills is not an option currently for a while). Thank you for reading i appreciate it very much.
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replied November 23rd, 2009
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A lot of sexual pleasure for women is mental. Girls need foreplay in order to get as aroused as their partner, and a lot of the time the partner is just too impatient. Have you tried oral sex or self masturbation? If you can get yourself off, then there is a way! Low libido can be common in younger women, but it can also be treated. Before that though, try and get your boyfriend to help you feel something without any kind of vaginal penetration. Try a vibrator or oral sex to see if you feel any arousal, and give it time. If not, let me know.
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replied November 23rd, 2009
Yes we i only feel good with oral sex, and when i masturbate it is good as always, lol and id love to try a vibrator but its not so easy for a 16 yearold to get her hands on one. And could you tell me more about this Low Libido thing? How can i treat it?
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replied November 23rd, 2009
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Low libido is a low sex drive, which sometimes just depends on your mood at the time. Also, sex drive is increased before and after your period, and the in between time it can be lessened.
A lot of vaginal penetration to feel good is mental, you have to just live in the moment I suppose, but getting off first works.
If oral sex works then that's great, and vibrators are easy to get now. Any supermarket or pharmacy that sells condoms likely sells female Trojan products. In the feminen product isles they sell Trojan condoms designed for women called Elexa, and there are usually female lubricant which helps with the libido as well as finger touch vibrators.
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replied November 24th, 2009
hmm thanks alot, this actually helped Smile
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replied November 29th, 2009
Maybe your numb feeling is because you are not ready to have sex yet and you are doing it to make others happy? I don't think you could diagnose low libido at 16, a normal women's sexual peak does not come until she is in her 30's. It sounds like you are having sex for all the wrong reasons and may need to speak with a therapist or a counselor to find out what void in your life you are using sex to fill.
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replied March 27th, 2010
I sort of disagree w/ the whole maybe being too young thing, cause I am 28, and I have the exact same problem! I've been sexually active since age 13, too, and to this day, has never been able to achieve orgasm thru intercourse. I've been w/ my husband now for like 9 years, but he is patient enough to help me out w/ the whole intercourse while I masturbate thing...and still, that takes me at least 20-25 minutes. It's very frustrating.
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replied April 27th, 2010
hi, i am actually 20 and ever since i have started being sexual active- which was 5 years ago. i have had the exact same problem. I feel nothing when i am having sex. And i dont feel that it is mental, because i would really be in the mood. I understand what your going through, and i wish i had some techniques or advice to give you about the situation, but i am still trying to figure it out for myself. You would probably need to talk to the doctor because there very well may be a medical reason why you are not feeling anything.
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replied August 9th, 2010
i'm 17 years old and i just started having sex a few months ago
the first time was the only time i felt something
i feel everything on the outside, but on the inside i feel nothing

i really think its a mental thing, because when i masturbate (alone, just to make it sound sad) or im not facing my partner, is till dont feel anything, but i start having a blast
(im a really shy person, so its hard for me to start feeling like that when i face him, i worry too much about what hes thinking rather than what im suppose to be thinking)

it kind of annoying me when i dont feel anything, but you just got to get your head in the game, i think
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replied August 10th, 2010
I felt the same way when I started having sex for the first few times when i was 16... I felt more like I was high or something and I didn't really enjoy sex cuz my hands and feet would feel numb and tingly. I don't know if this is the same feeling you had. I think my issue was just poor circulation that I help manage with exercise.

As for me, masturbating never really did anything for me. I felt awkward, and it never really felt to good to me. I always had this idea that its always someone else who touches you sexually to make you feel good and that i shouldn't need to do it myself.... Idk why that is for me.
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replied November 10th, 2012
you will feel more aroused if you really care about someone and love them. How you feel about a person can enhance or detract from sexual pleasure. I would advise loving one person more and having sex less.
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replied May 30th, 2013
so is there anything you can do for low libido like pills or something of that nature?
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