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not sure whats going on :(

My boyfriend and I have been together for over 2 years now...we've been very happy..the relationship has been work..we've had our ups, and we've hit rock bottom a few times..but we've worked things out...i have no idea whats going on lately...last week he got me flowers, just to be sweet..thursday we went out to eat with my family things were great..then friday when he got back from work...he was different..like completely...i've known him to have anger issues...in the past 2 years he's had maybe 2 or 3 "episodes" i call them in which he just doesn't give a crap about anything ncluding me...the first time it happened our relationship nearly ended, we ended up working things out...and now for no reason at all whatsoever its happening again..i cant explain it..he just gets extremely angry, refuses to talk to me and "doesn't care" about anything or anyone...friday night he came home...all he would say was he had a bad night at work and for me to leave him alone bc he had a headache..with his attitude i had no problem leaving for the night thinking he'd be fine in the morning plus i've seen him like this before and usually giving him his space is the best solution...i came over early the next morning to come spend time with our dog we have and to check on him...he woke up 10 minutes before work, didn't say one word to me and left...i texted him and he ignored the text...i thought maybe after work he would have blown off steam...he came home tonight and still refused to talk to me..saying he didn't care about anything or anyone anymore...I DONT UNDERSTAND...i have done absolutely nothing and i have no idea where this attitude is coming from! he is acting extremely depressed these past 2 days and i cannot get a word out of him except "go away" and "i dont care leave me alone"....its so upsetting to me bc i'm the type of person to want to work things out if theres a problem..and the fact that he wont even talk to me is killing me...i'm working tomorrow morning and he's working tomorrow night so i wont see him until late sunday night...i cant sleep, i cant focus..and i'm just really worried...usually we would have worked things out by now...i have no idea what to do anymore, and i'm so emotionally drained...when he gets like this I just dont even wanna be around him...
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replied October 12th, 2008
Experienced User
sounds like he's given up or something. my boyfriend started acting similar to that when we had our most recent argument. he said he was tired of having to do all the work in our relationship.

and I finally understood what he meant. everytime we would have a fight I would always think of how I was hurting, always me me me. I never bothered to see how it hurt him too...having to put on a happy face and pretend nothing happened when inside he was breaking apart. I was pretty selfish and now were trying to patch things up.

try writing him a letter and ask him nicely what is wrong. if he doesn't want to then tell him your gonna take a break until he decides what it is he wants to do.
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replied October 13th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
well we finally talked tonight(sort of) after a weekend of silence...basically something is bothering him that he doesn't care to talk about..which i dont really understand and i told him he can talk to me about anything thats what i'm here for..but he said this is something he doesn't want to discuss its his problem and he doesn't want it being anyone elses problem..so i guess i'll just have to respect that and i told him next time he needs to at least let me know whats going on that something is bothering him and if he needs space or time to think then i can respect that but I at least deserve to know these things and not be blown off completely...its really hard to get him to talk about stuff thats bothering him and i'm the complete opposite..if something is bothering me i have to get it off my chest and hes the person i go to talk to..so i guess thats just something we'll have to deal with...things are ok again for now as far as i know..i just wish guys would TALK if they are stressed or something is bothering them..its so not healthy to bottle it up like that and it drives me nuts when it gets to a point to where he just flips out like this....so we'll see...
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replied October 13th, 2008
Experienced User
i know rite?! why are guys like that. its so hard trying to get my guy to open up, so i just stopped trying. before he left for his trip he was being a jerk. is friends were over at our house and i saw some bruises on his back. so i came close to touch them and ask him, he turned around and glared at me and hissed to leave it alone and stop it.

from then on i jus stopped caring and let him have his space. thats all we can really do. but i hope everything gets better worrywart,:]
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Users who thank CoolGlassofH2O for this post: worrywart01