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not getting proper erection

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hi i m 28year old guy...i m just married but noticed that i m not getting proper erection...my penis becomes loose ...i m very much worried about this....earlier i was not having his kind of problem...plz help and suggest
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replied March 25th, 2012
Welcome to e health forum.

Stronger erections depend on the situation and the sexual excitement you have attained. Presence of a attractive sexual partner or heightened emotions are very important for strong erections. Feelings of pressure, stress or performance anxiety can be factors which can have a negative effect.

In case you are able to achieve strong early morning erections, while you are asleep, it would be indicator that you may not have any issues with your penis and its erections.

Most likely, then you may be having psychological stress affecting your erections and performance.

You need to realize that you cannot force yourself to have a sexual response, just as you cannot force yourself to go to sleep or to perspire. The harder you try to have a certain sexual response, the harder it becomes to respond.

Performance anxiety is a very common sexual problem in which men become anxious (mostly a subconsious fright) when it comes time to engage in sexual activity. This results in thought that you may underperform during the act. This results in the lack of spontaneity in flow of sexual feelings and ultimately results in sexual dysfunction.

Though men of all ages may experience the condition, it is more common in adolescents, young adults and inexperienced men. However, it is also true that almost all men experience it at some point in their lives.

The way to correct this, is to indulge in sexual activity, when your aim is not just to maintain erections, but is to be the perfect lover for your woman. You will have to leave all your worries and stress all outside the bed room. Just be your self with your partner.

To reduce the pressure, absorb yourself in the pleasure of the moment. The best way to handle this situation is to seek help from your partner and try techniques like mutual masturbation. When you achieve orgasm, when your partner masturbates you will help in removing any form of anxiety or frustration in your mind.

You might consult with a sexologist who can provide you proper counselling and also train you with techniques like, stop-start technique , Squeeze technique and kegel exercises which will help to improve your sexual performance.

In addition, a prescription of medications like Viagra or Cialis, will also be helpful. Using them a couple of times will give you the confidence boost, and help you realize that you are a perfectly normal man with a good sexual ability.

The power of positive thinking can help you accomplish anything, and if you believe that you will have great sex, you will. With patience, a clear mind, and a comfortable relationship with a great woman, you will be able to free yourself of this vicious cycle and you will begin to enjoy sex to the maximum extent.

I hope this helps.
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