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not brokenhearted, but just disappointed in (now ex-) boyfriend

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a few days ago, i went to meet my b/f at his work. i thought he'd be hungry and it would be a perfect time for us to go out and grab some dinner. i was going to pay, too!

well, here i am sitting outside his work when he comes around the building and plants a kiss firmly on the lips of his co-worker before he heads out in the parking lot and realizes that i'm sitting there watching.

all i said was "i hope you'll be happy with her, because you've seen the last of me". i have zero regrets for saying that. after that he texted me about 20x and i just told him to stop.

i'm not broken hearted. i'm disappointed. i have been a good girlfriend to him. always pulling for him when he was having a hard time, always giving him everything i could give him. my heart, my body, and everything else i have.

BUT. no matter what happens, i will not consider seeing him again. it's over. i can't even really say that i'm sad about it. i'm angry, but not to the extent that it's consuming me. i have decided that i just need to "let it go".

i'm going out with some friends tonight, so that should be nice. don't really know why i'm posting all this (probably because i've spoken highly of my b/f on this site and i feel like a$$ because he disappointed me by doing what he did).

jasmine
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replied December 14th, 2008
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ok, here's the latest update. last night i went out partying with friends. well we were in a bar and one of my girlfriends notices that HE is there. well, guess what?! he's there with his new girlfriend, and they're all over eachother...at least until he realized that we were there.

my g/fs immediately try to get me to leave, but i'm just like, i have nothing to be ashamed of, he does...so i'm not going anywhere. probably 2-3 minutes after he noticed we were there, they left.

he made eye contact with me once during that 3 minutes and he looked like he was about to cry or something. imagine that. guess the guilt he feels is getting to him. i just looked at him and rolled my eyes. she wouldn't make eye contact with me the whole time, but i made a point of watching her out of the corner of my eye to see if she'd look over at me.

she can have him. if any woman reads this who is potentially going to try to steal away another woman's boyfriend, i've got a little info for you. if you can steal a man away from another woman, chances are that someone else can steal him away from you too.

i honestly wouldn't have a problem with him if he was just strong enough to tell me to my face (before i caught him) that he wanted to break up with me and be with another girl. yes, it would hurt my feelings, but that i could deal with. i am really bothered though with the fact that he never said a word, and i'm concerned with whether or not i have been subjected to some "disease" as a result of those two doing who knows what?!?!

undoubtedly i will be going to get tested for every std in the book.

now i'm really mad!
jasmine
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replied December 14th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
she can have him. if any woman reads this who is potentially going to try to steal away another woman's boyfriend, i've got a little info for you. if you can steal a man away from another woman, chances are that someone else can steal him away from you too.

^^^YOU SAID IT !!! and you know what..i couldn't agree more with you...i dont understand these bimbos out there who think they can come and take some girls man and that they'll live happily ever after...sorry hunny..news flash..he did it once, chances are YOU aren't going to change him...dumb..just plain dumb..if its one thing i'll never do its mess around with another girls man...i think it is the most disrespectful thing and you know what they say..karma is a ____ and its gonna come back and bite you in the tush...i would never even want a man whos going to mess around w/me when he has a gf..if you're interested in me, cut your ties and THEN maybe we cant talk..i dont do cheaters...i have no respect for cheaters...cold hearted...to do that to someone who has given themselves to you fully is pretty much the worst thing i think you could do to someone who cares about you..and it can sometimes emotionally destroy a person and damage future relationships bc the person is now afraid to trust...i say GOOD FOR YOU for letting this guy go..i'm sure it was very hard for you but you definitely deserve way better..this guy had his chance...he blew it bigtime..and you know..as crappy as this may sound.. i hope things between him and this chick dont work out so he can truly realize what a HUGE mistake he has made...
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Users who thank worrywart01 for this post: Jazzy77 

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replied December 14th, 2008
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Wow~

Jazzy, you are a incredible and a strong woman.

I am speechless by your actions also, but in a good way.

You know after reading this I had the urge to call up my gf to tell her how much I loved her. Pretty weird, huh?

Anyway, congrats for strong and productive in this situation.

Good Luck,

Peter
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Users who thank petery2k562 for this post: Jazzy77 

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replied December 14th, 2008
Experienced User
awe, thank you Peter. i appreciate your kind words. you SHOULD call your g/f up and tell her you love her! not weird at all...that is the way things should be.

i'm learning some painful lessons, and although my mom is no longer around (she's dead) i can still hear her wisdom speak to my heart about what is the right thing to do. i get my strength from her and from God and i know that they will always lead me in the right direction.

i've decided that if i go get tested and don't have any std's or anything else like that, i'm just going to consider myself lucky and i'm going to forgive him in my heart for being such a jerk. if on the other hand he has given me some kinda funky disease, then he's dead meat. ha!

either way, i'm moving on with my life. i know the right man is out there waiting for me (somewhere).

thanks again for your kind words.

jasmine
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replied December 14th, 2008
Community Volunteer
Hi Jasmine:

What happened to you is terrible...Unfortunately, it happens to many women nowadays...To many women, any man is fair game...It is just a good thing that you found out about this now...

Marriage or in a relationship means nothing to a woman who wants her prey...She will go to any length to bed him down....I know this more than anyone...From the time I was married until his last years working, he was a target of women....They still flirt with him......Any woman who thinks she is safe from another woman wanting her man had better think twice....They don't stop......You have to stay at the top of your game...

Lord, could I tell stories on this subject....The older some women get, the hornier they become....Hell knows no fury like a woman in sexual heat......

Honey, you are great....If you ever want to sound off, you know where I live...

Caroline
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Users who thank JavaMissus for this post: Jazzy77 

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replied December 14th, 2008
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Your Welcome, :]

Peter
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replied December 15th, 2008
Experienced User
caroline, your words are so true. i know that the older i get the hornier i get so if that's any indication then i better buy stock in a vibrator company for when i get really old! ha!

thank you both for your kind words. i appreciate you both very much.

today, i was able to move around a few appts and i took the day off. i took my b/f's christmas present back and got my money back. then i went to the spa. i got a massage. after that, i went shopping and spent all of the money i got back from my b/f's christmas present on clothes.

i needed bras, so i bought 3. i bought 3 pairs of matching panties, and found a great pair of shoes for $20. then i went by the lancome counter and picked up some eye makeup remover, and stopped off on the way home for a bottle of wine, which i am consuming as i write this.

i took a nice HOT bath, got dressed in really warm sweats and made a little dinner. now i'm set!

not a bad day, considering! i hope y'all had as good a day as i did.
jasmine
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replied December 15th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
sounds like you got your moneys worth from that present you took back!!! professional massages are amaaaaazing and sooo relaxing..i got one a while back, it was an hour long, i didn't want to leave...thats like the best gift...i love buying new undies Smile haha i like the victoria's secret pink collection..they're all so cute haha..glad you had a nice day, sounds very relaxing..speaking of massages i could use a nice long massage..i have finals this week and i'm SO stressed out!!!
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replied December 15th, 2008
Experienced User
All I got to say is more woman need to think and act like you! Instead of letting him get the best of you, it sounds like you got the best of him! Good for you!! Stay strong!!!!!!!
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Users who thank gemskimarie for this post: Jazzy77 

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replied December 20th, 2008
Experienced User
y'all are too kind...too sweet. i appreciate the friends i have on here. worrywart, i hope you can get a massage and get some relief from your stress. i remember finals week all too well. it's hard!

gemskimarie, thank you for your kind words. i've had a few moments where i felt pretty low, but i'm NOT going to let him get the best of me. i'm not running away from anyone or anything. i'm just going to continue to be myself, try to have some fun, and continue to move forward.

being human, some days this gets to me. one day this week, i felt overcome with emotion, and i cried for probably 1/2 hour straight. i would like to attribute it to my cycle or pms or something...but i think i just have to admit that sometimes it's ok to be sad. i felt so much better once i let that go. the cry did me good, and again, i am moving forward.

i hope if there are others on this site who are just coming out of relationships, that we can learn and grow from eachother's strengths (and weaknesses)...be supportive of eachother and keep eachother moving forward with our lives.

men don't define us. relationships don't define us. we define us. i define me, and i rely on God's love and blessings to guide me and give me strength.

thanks again for the kind comments on here. i feel the love.
jasmine
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replied December 21st, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
you seem like a very charming sweet genuine person..this guy has lost alot in you..but dont worry i have no doubt that a girl like you will soon find her prince charming! everyone needs love..especially during a time when you've had to part with someone you were once so close with...but obviously he cant be trusted..and i've always said that if i ever found out that my bf were cheating..it'd be over..once trust is lost the relationship is pretty much done..but..a bonus is you get to go out and have fun with the girls! hope your day is great and keep that chin up!
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Users who thank worrywart01 for this post: Jazzy77 

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replied December 30th, 2008
Experienced User
well it's been 20 days, and my ex-b/f has tried to get me to talk with him for the past 3 or 4 days. it seems that "something" has happened between him and his new g/f and he is now regretful that he made such a mistake...imagine that.

he texted me several times and and left voicemail messages just point-blank asking me if i would consider taking him back.

i haven't responded to any calls/texts, etc. and i won't. i have zero desire to reconsider dating him.

i do miss him, i miss his touch and the intimacy, and just having him around, but every time i think of him kissing that girl, it pretty much ensures that i couldn't consider dating him ever again.

i honestly find it hard to believe that a guy could dream up the expectation to keep trying to talk to me. particularly when i saw what i saw.

here i sit...in disbelief that this is actually occurring. i'm over it...completely disgusted. i'm just praying for him that he will use better judgement with the NEXT girl he gets with, and i'm praying for her for wisdom and patience.
jasmine
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replied December 31st, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
Good for you!
and good luck to him with finding a girl that wants to be with a cheater...im not sure i could trust a guy that once cheated on an ex girlfriend...
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Users who thank worrywart01 for this post: Jazzy77 

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replied December 31st, 2008
Experienced User
Well done Jazzy!
He isn't worth it, he needs to realise that he hurt you. He needs to accept that you are not interested in giving him a second chance, and that you have moved on to a new future without him.

And yes, I agree, regarding his new g/f, if he'll cheat WITH you, he'll cheat ON you.

Hope you feel better soon hun, and that you find someone soon who is worth the time you spend on him!
x
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Users who thank GreyWolf for this post: Jazzy77 

replied February 2nd, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
hey jazzy........No man is worth it if they are gonna cheat hun......You deserve a lot better hun..You need someone who respects you for who you are...you seem like a great person Razz
Jenny
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