Hello, I am really upset as I write this. Up until now, I was very healthy sexually. I've had the same partner for 3 years and had noooo problems becoming vaginally lubricated and staying that way. Well, now I've run into a problem that I never though I'd face this early: I get dry. The initial lubrication occurs, but once he enters, it no longer gets wetter, and thus, doesn't stretch as much.
However, the most odd thing about it is that as soon as he pulls out, it get SUPER wet and stays that way, like it used to be. So, in sum, it will get a little wet before intercourse, but then stay at that level of lubrication, making intercourse slightly painful. However, as soon as he pulls out, it's like there had been some blockage in there because the lubrication flows forth, literally. It gets very wet....but what does it matter at that point? Why is this happening to me??
Low levels of lubrication can be related to starting a birth control pill. And the fluids when he pulls out is likely from him. There is also a spot deep inside your vagina (right at the top past your cervix) that will cause rapid lubrication when stimulated. It is not inconceivable that his penis might reach it.
If you are allowing him to ejaculate inside you, the vast majority of his semen will liquify within 15 to 20 minutes after ejaculation and just flow back out as a very slippery fluid. There is nowhere else for his semen to go. It's got to come back out through your vaginal entrance.
So what to do about it? Stop worrying. All woman have these periods of less lubrication, and periods of more lubrication. It is part of the normal course of life. Since you are having sex for fun, not to lubricate, the solution is very simple. Get a personal lubricant from your local store. Water based or silicone based (if you do not use a silicone based sex toy) are easy to clean up and healthy. Make is part of your foreplay to apply it.
It is just no biggie. It does not mean you are not aroused by him, or do not enjoy sex with him. It's got nothing to do with him.
It's weird though. I don't mean that it's lubricated from his semen. When I say "after he pulls out," I am referring to him pulling out, a few minutes into sex because it is just too painful for me. It's definitely my own vaginal lubrication, because it actually stays lubricated for a really long time after the initial intercourse. I'm sure his penis reaches that spot, but why then, does my vagina not feel lubricated when he is inside of it? Only after.
Another possibility is that if you only lie on your back during foreplay, the lubrication can pool up at the top of your vagina, rather than come out to coat the rest and your vulva. Ask him to stick his finger all the way in and drag some of it out to coat your vagina closer to the entrance.
It is important to determine if your pain is indeed caused by a lack of lubrication. The chances are that it is not and you will have to speak to your ObGyn. Finding that out. Is as easy as buying a personal lubricant and trying it out.
My ex got dry when she went on BC pills, so I'd have to agree with Kristi. I'd say it's somewhat self fulfilling as well. The more pain you feel, the less turned on you are. When the pain stops, part of you is still turned on and you once again lube up. Use some of the bottled lube (ID Glide is one fave of ours) while your still wet and it'll probably resolve the issue
What Kristi said about the deep spot lubrication is also true. I'm glad she mentioned that because I just got done with another discussion on another forum about that very subject.