There is a risky behavior component to manic/hypomanic phase of bipolar - this could be a manifestation of that. I will say that the sensation of masturbation and of vaginal sex is different and it may be that he may find it more difficult to orgasm during vaginal sex as opposed to masturbation. Good luck with restoring the fullness of your relationship.

He can be taught to love as he has taught himself to masturbate...His problem is he has become his own best lover...You must take over....Good luck...Caroline

I'm a man. I'm bipolar. I'm in a 6 year relationship.

Lay off him. Let him masturbate. Get your tools out and masturbate. Maybe you two can masturbate together. You can't push the problem all on him. You need to take some initiative and ask him what's up or ask him if he would like to have mutual masturbation. You need to be glad he's masturbating in the bathroom and not in some bookstore or in a mistress'/mister's house.

And why are you counting the number of times he's masturbating? And why are you even gloating in the fact that you can tell when he masturbates? You telling us that tells me that you are probably pushing guilt upon him for masturbating. He's a grown man and he's going to keep masturbating in the bathroom unless start a discussion. Otherwise, I don't feel sorry for you.

Clearly you yourself are a troubled man who has an anger issue. I am not repremanding my partner, for I love him very much. This question was just asking for a simple answer--why does sex not appeal to him, yet getting off does. Also-I am not gloating on the fact that I know when he masterbates, but it is easy to tell when the room or bathroom smells like sperm (or just when I hear him do it) I do not push the problem all on him, I never have. Bipolar or not it takes two to tango and in every relationship you HAVE to meet halve way. I am lucky and unlike you, my partner does not use this terrible disease as an excuse to get away with doing what he pleases. I have never brought the issue up with him, because unlike you, I am a very selfless person. I just had a simple question which was, why does my partner masturbate, but not wanting to have sex. For the record we do have sex, not a lot of it, but we do.

I'm a bipolar female and perhaps it's just the intimacy part of it. Sometimes we just hate to be touched, because at that time, out partner disgusts us and we do not wish to share in that type of intimacy.

BTW, I highly suggest that you lay off osidianrose because until you are actually bipolar, you will never understand that he is selfish and self-centered and uncaring because... well... most of us are. We can't help it. And if you speak to your significant other the way you speak to osidianrose, I can see why he masturbates instead of making love to you.

I don't speak to my partner the way I speak to osidianrose. I support my partner through everything that he goes through. osidianrose clearly attacked me when I just wanted a simple answer--which you kindly gave to me. The purpose of this site is to help each other, not to lash out of each other. I can atleast admit that I may have been wrong in what I said to him, but I will not apologize for asking my question. If he is not willing to help people who have questions and to be supportive, then this site is clearly not one for him.

As a Bipolar 2 Male with somewhat the same issue, I have found that it isn't about self gratification. It's about just getting the job done. I dont get off mentally through the act, its a physical release. Where I get off is giving my partner pleasure, even without intercourse. Have you tried letting him focus on you, letting him pleasure you. Sometimes it helps, yes you may feel selfish about it, but alot of times in our eyes, it's the act that gives us the pleasure. The physical part is just mechanical for us. I dunno maybe it's just me.. but including yourself in these actions may help. By not forcing sex, but trying to focus on intimacy instead, you may find the connection come back. Our brains are just wired differently. When were on a high, our sex drive is usually at it's peak, when we hit a low.. it's down, however we might still feel the desire to pleasure our partner, and not having intercourse used to make me feel like i wasn't good enough for my partner. Now that it has come out into the open, it works well.. When the mood is there, the intercourse happens, but she understands that sometimes i just want to give pleasure and not be expected to perform outside of that. Hope this makes some sense and helps out a little.