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No reason to live (Page 1)

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In november my pregnant fiancee was shot, she died...I've been to counselors, but I don't see results. I know she would want me to go on, but I can't knowing she isn't near me.
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First Helper kimoiRN
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replied January 15th, 2009
hi mayk
im sorry about what happened to you. i may not be feeling the way you are but i do know that what you're going through is difficult... but mayk,everything takes time. I have always believed that everything happens for a reason. I know its not that easy but you've got to try if you cant try it for yourself, then at least try to live for her - because she wants you to live. find your purpose. you can do it mayk, trust yourself.
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replied January 15th, 2009
Experienced User
has the guy been arrested? you should at least live to see how the verdict turns out! he has robbed u of her
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replied January 15th, 2009
True Love
Please don't do anything to hurt yourself., I had a girlfriend that killed herself and I still hurts after years have gone by. You can heal without hurting others. Please stop and think. Her love will help and guide you through if you give her a chance. She is watching over you and that is the reason why you are still here. Please talk to me if you can't talk to anyone else. I will never say anything to anyone. Please don't hurt yourself. You can never take it back. Im here even though you do not know me. I will always be here. michelly
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Users who thank michelly for this post: mayk 

replied January 15th, 2009
i could use someone to talk to, her parents are as devastated as i am we were just going to start a family, she found out she was pregnant in october she told me on my birthday the most wonderful present ever and now shes gone
i lost my family i mean we were planing our wedding and she just died she and our baby i don't even know what it was a boy or a girl
we were to marry this month, in 10 days, on 25 and we were suppose to have a honeymoon, i took off from work i lost all this why didn't our house burn or our car stolen instead of this?!? where is god? why did he allow this? what did she do to deserve this? what did our child do? everyday that passed is hell, is hell waking up without her, is hell not kissing her goodbye 10 days from now we were suppose to be husband and wife, but now is lost
i tried talking her parents come everyday to me but they i don't need them i need her
thanks for talking, but i still don't know if i should go on
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replied January 15th, 2009
Angels
Its going to get harder before it gets any easier to deal with, I can't answer GOD'S decision to take your fiancee and baby to heaven but I do know that you do have people here (family and friends) who love you and need you here. You probably can't see that right now and that's understandable but I know with all my heart that Your Fiancee would want you to live and forgive GOD. She will send you all her love from heaven ok. I want to give you a sort of scenerio, if you had passed away, I know that you would have wanted your fiancee to live, and I know that you would be with her for the rest of her life making sure she was always ok. She is with you, Do you understand the picture im trying to paint for you? She'll always be right next to you. Im so very sorry for your pain and I know that I can't take it away, nobody can, just remember what I said earlier, YOU CAN"T TAKE BACK WHAT YOU DO, ONCE YOU DO IT! Please try and see that your family loves you and so do her parents. Right now you are her mom and dads only link. If you hurt yourself you will absolutely hurt everyone around you.
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Users who thank michelly for this post: mayk 

replied January 16th, 2009
i know she would want me to live and if i were her i would want her to live to but it's just so hard she was all i had i try to picture her there safe holding the baby but it only makes me wish i were there with them and im afraid to not think about her im afraid she will slip out of my mind and ill forget her i don't want to she was the most wonderful person ever and i want to hold her memory why wasn't me in her place i would trade it in a heartbeat i wake up and i cry and scream cause she isn't there i want to kiss her and tell her i love her but i can't and i can't bring myself to go to the graveyard it hurts to much i want to hold her and kiss her i know is selfish and i need to think about others but its so hard without her i want to be with her i loved her so much and i told her a million times but it doesn't seem enough she is gone and i feel she doesn't know how much i cared for her i want to be with her to tell her once more i love her it's not fair what happened it's wrong
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replied January 16th, 2009
True Love
You are with her!!!!! She is absolutely with you!!!! I see it with the way you speak about her, I see your love and it's beautiful. You will never forget her so don't worry about that. Just cause you move on doesn't mean that you are forgetting her, it means that you have put her in a very sacred spot which is YOUR HEART! I can't imagine how badly you want to kiss and hold her one more time, I can only try and tell you to KIss her and tell her every chance you get when you have dreams of her or when you are praying to her or just thinking about her. She will here you and she will bless you for all of your love. She loves you so much. Your baby will be watching down on you so don't you want your baby to see what a wonderful person you are. I do know how hard it is to go to the graveyard. My own experience was it took me 3 years. and that's ok. I know that now. You told her a million times plus of how much you love her and your baby, she was very lucky to pass knowing she was loved with all of your heart. I mean that in a very loving way. Some people die without ever knowing someone loved them. You and her and your baby are very special. You have to hold on to that so your love can live on eternally.
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Users who thank michelly for this post: mayk 

replied January 17th, 2009
thank you for taking the time to write to me you are right she loved me and she knew i loved her but it still doesn't make it easy its not right what happened is it wrong to want to be with her? i know i can't bring her back but i want so much to be near her when she told me she was pregnant i was so happy i passed out and one month later she was dead it WRONG WRONG WRONG i want to be with her i want to hold her arm when she gives birth but i can't she gone there are so many things we didn't do we didn't even thought of a name we were planing our wedding i want her back i want to be with her is it so wrong? i loved her like crazy from the first kiss we shared i knew she was my half i want to kiss her i want to have a chance to kiss my baby but their both gone and i want to be with them every time i think about her i want to kiss her and every time i realise i can't i burn inside and want to die
thanks for reading this i hope i don't bother you to much
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replied January 17th, 2009
MAYK., I need to tell you something ok., Last March I lost my baby. We tried for 2 years and my husband has no children. When I finally took the test and it said positive I couldn't believe my eyes. I ran out of the bathroom crying so hard and he had no idea, he thought something was wrong with me. I finally calmed down and told him We we PREGNANT. I thought I finally came thru for him. 9 weeks later I was in the hospital and my baby died. I lost my so wanted baby. I'm still so empty. So then we have tried invitro. 62 shots he had to give me at home and plus a surgery. They put 2 embryo's in and I prayed like a baby every second of every minute of every single hour of the day. I lost both of my embryo's December 1,2008. I have failed. I am so sick inside my deepest part of my innermost soul. I pray that one day God will have mercy on me and let me give my husband the only thing that he wants in life, a baby. The reason I'm telling you this is so you see that im dying away everytime i lose my babies. but i must and i will keep trying otherwise how can I Give my husband the greatest gift of all. I know what happened to you is god awful. I truly and hurt for you and wish I could take away your pain. I wish I could grant you your wish too. But I can't. I can be here for you though. I hope that will be enough cause I would die if I found out that I wasn't able to help you. What if you die and you don't see her and your baby up there in heaven? then you have nothing. Please just keep writing and maybe we can try to heal each other. I want you to start writing a journal and put all your want and feelings in there everytime you think about her and your little baby. Write all you love, kisses, anger, tears, everything. It really helps. Its sounds cliche but it really works. When you dream do you dream of her, if so, tell her then how much you miss her and hold her and kiss her. She loves you mayk.
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replied January 20th, 2009
mayk, where are you? are you ok?
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replied January 27th, 2009
My mother just passed
Mayk,

So sorry to hear of your devastating loss. I just lost my mother after a long struggle with cancer and found myself feeling depressed with no ability to see into the future. I was reading a book called a course in miracles and it talked on a subject about idols. It stated that when we idolize others above God we are doomed to fail. Place your love and faith in god first above all others. God is always a constant. Life, loved ones, friends, children will come and go. It helped me a little to put life in perspective but the pain and hole remains. My prayers and thoughts are with you. Time will pass and eventually we will all end up on the other side with them. Give thanks for the time that you had with her and look forward to being with them once again in the future. In the mean time honor them do your best to serve god and your brothers and sisters and realize how short and fragile our time is here together. Death may be a blessing compared to our time here.
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User Profile
replied February 3rd, 2009
Experienced User
omg
im in tears
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replied April 22nd, 2009
honey im sorry bout what happened! i know how you feel. to have someone you love and hold so dear and have it be taken away from you in that way. its like you cant breathe at times and you feel like theres nothin left to live for. u feel so empty and alone and no one can comfort you. but my heart told my it was going to be ok time will slowly heal my pain. i kept my head up and managed to move on. it took alot of time but im still healing. i got my life in order and honey u can make it u have to be strong 4 her and 4 ur baby. they wouldnt want you to hold on to them they would want you to let go and live ur life as if there were still there. it will be hard!!! i know... but u have ur whole life ahead of you and u are strong n i know u can make it. everything happens to a reason. God may have wanted them with him for the fact that there may have been other plans 4 them that were worse and he didnt want that for them. God only takes the good... u are still blessed and u wont realize till one day you open ur eyes and see. take care and love like you have never loved at all and live like theres no tomorrow... god will bless u in a way that is unbelievable that u will have to put all ur faith in him.... trust the lord and the lord will trust you... remember that he loves you more...
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replied April 22nd, 2009
choice
mayk,

everything you are feeling you are suppossed to be feeling. loss, lonliness, fairness, anger.......

there is no timetable on how long these feelings will last but to take your own life is a cop out.

there are people out there who are stuggling to live and most will not.. How selfish of you to want to choose death. step up, wakeu[ each day and make a choice that you are going to make it the best it can be...it will work sometimes but at other times it will not,,, but guess what you are alive to make that choice. if you choose not to wake up tomorrow morning think of how it will effect all the loved ones around you...maybe they will choose not to wake up the next morning.

i am not saying that what you have gone thru is not tragic, it is...but in the end you always have a choice...volunteer, start a non-profit agency in her name...be proactive...please make the choice to wake up tomorrow
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replied April 24th, 2009
Supporter
Your still in the mourning process. It's normal for you to feel this way, but it shall pass. i would like to also tell you when i was a teenage my boyfreind commited suicide, he didnt think anyone cared, but yet it was over 500 people at his furneral. i was heartbroken.
So be strong, and stop thinking of ending your life because you will hurt so many people. try to be strong, know that times heals. Everyone blames God when bad things happens in their lives.
know that death is not the end of things. and you will get a chance to see your finance and child again.
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replied July 15th, 2009
Im so sad about you.But that is the nature of this world.We all must face to it.Its commen thing.In here Sri Lanka lots wife has no man.Because of the 30 years of war.

But do good things and remeber your lady.Do good things and social works ,the name of her.That make her feel good.She may at the Heaven and looking toward you.I am not jocking.There is something called Heaven.You must live.You must live.you can do it.That is the thing that she want from you.Try to be more religious.

Gook luck for you.
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replied October 6th, 2009
My Wife along with my two month old son !
i am 28 years old. I had a beautifull wife ,cute son ,nice house ,nice car , nice everything . My house burnt down in ashes along with my harldy 2 month kid ,and my lovely wife (may they rest in peace) . Now i know how you feeling , and i know how it must have felt . How easy it is for them to say to move on . But ,infact its the word difficult itself doesnt explain the pain. Firstly after all this if i loose faith in God which is the only thing which can make you move on or help you in anyway ..is totally stupid , and so i didnt do the mistake . everything is eventually going to die and that doesnt give any reason for considering " where is god ? is this fair ? " bad things happens .. people die .... it was like me living in a apartment finding a reason everyday with a coffee mug in my hand for why this happened and what am i suppose to do ? for 4 months . All my saving being used up by me , the house was insured but i didnt wanted it anyway , i sold it . Used the money i moved on with making other people life nice , finding happiness in their happiness , thats how i done it . and dont you dare say i didnt loved my wife i loved her more than anything in my entire life till now . But that doesnt means i should give up on everything . But i should never let anyone give up on me .
this is just to encourage you that things happen we should'nt be so possesive about our happenings , whats done is done , now live along .
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replied November 30th, 2009
At least God made someone for you to love and be loved by.
He forgot about me completely.

Just remember, life isn't forever and you'll join her at some point.
At least you have something to look forward to.
I have nothing and only a few years to live.
I've always been alone, longing to find my woman.
I never did. I don't think she exists.
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replied February 1st, 2010
Jesus loves you, and he will help you through this if you just let him help you. He loves you and will never quit on you, even if you face something so sad and hard like this, and you're wife and baby are safe in heaven. They want you to live on and follow Jesus and become a light to the world, maybe you can find a purpose in life with helping people with problems like this, or maybe something else. Just remember God made you for a purpose, youre still loved
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