My husband and I have been married a little over a year (we were 21 when we got married) we have a good relationship outside of the HUGE problems I have with my inlaws. I dont wonder about being with him but I do wonder many times a day how I am going to spend the rest of life with inlaws like this. They have a fairly large family business that most of them work at. My husband has worked for his family since he was very very young, it is the only job he has had. There is so much drama in the family because of the business to the point of certain families having seperate holidays and get togethers because they dont get a long, even talk about sueing other members of the family. Since my husband has never had another job I don't think he realizes how unfair things are. Most of the other employees have great insurance, they have my husband on a different payroll and dont offer him insurance even though he has been employed there for over 14 years. I dont even know how to touch on all the problems. Other members of the family are paid significantly more then him for doing jobs that he did as a child. The biggest problems i have are with his immediate family. His father never has anything to do with his kids lives. He has probably spoken a total of 20 sentences to me ever. Things are so unfair between him and his siblings. His sister is being sent to a very expensive colleges for at least 5-6 years and all of her tuition is paid, her rent everything where as my husband chose to try and go to college. He went to a very cheap local school and he had to quit and go back to work after the first year becuase he couldn't afford it and was getting zero help from his family. All of his siblings have a credit card that they can use and parents pay for it,except my husband. Obviously I do not want them to hand us money, but the way they treat him over his siblings is really affecting his life. They gave his brother a much bigger part in the business so he makes much more money, and then they bought him a house. The age difference between the siblings is only a year. They were all given oppertunities out of high school except my husband. Now he is being taken advantage of. He is different then his father. His dad is very rude and thinks he is better then everyone. I know this because he will say it. He never talks to anyone unless he is making fun of them. My husband is not like this at all, but his siblings are. His mom just gets pushed around by him and has no say, I have never even heard him have a conversation with her. Because of this she never stands up to him and he rules the roost. She talks all big but never does anything. She will even lie about a lot of things like standing up for my husband when I know she didn't because I will hear from others. She also makes up stories about me and tells them to people, if I try to correct her she will not listen and things are now going around town about me that are not true. She also does this with my husband, she even tells me stories about my husband that are not true. She will say things that make me mad at him and them I find out that they are not true. Both his mom and dad will tell family members that my husband did things that he did not do. His mom smokes non stop and bought my husband a carton of cigaretts for his 18th birthday. My husband stopped smoking after we got married for about 3 months, but everytime we would go out to eat she would ask him to smoke and make comments about how she wouldnt put up with me not letting him smoke in the house (my husband has never complained, he has actually said he likes not having the smell in the house). They wouldn't take him to the doctor when he would have problems and when we started dating I had him go to the doctor for some issues that he was dealing with on a regular basis and had been for many years, he was diagnosed with migraines and now we have huge medical bills because he didn't have insurance then. Right now I don't have insurance b/c I am part time so we have to buy our own. Also, b/c he is different from his siblings and his dad in the way that they act he doesn't get invited on hunting trips or other family outings anymore and they make rediculous, but yet insulting excuses. This is just a touch of all the problems. Now we have huge debt that we are having issues paying, many from medical bills and dental bills. We have no choice but to go to his family for help. They have given their other kids so much but when we asked, we have to show them all this proof and his dad has to be there, his dad has never been around for anyhing else the only reason he will be there is becasue it has to do with money. I dont know how to deal with these things anymore and we have only been married for a little over a year, we see them so much because of work. His mom has even gone as far as to say that he couldn't bring things with him when we got married. things that were his that he paid for, he didn't listen, but he had to get in an argument when we went to move his stuff out because she didn't want him to take things, she wanted him to give his things to his brother! ahhhh I have never been this frustrated, I feel like I am going to have a panic attack.
well hun it does seem like they are quite stuck up people to be honest...i would not let my husband be treated like that by his own family its very disrespectful. i know you probably dont wanna be going up to his family saying anything because obviously that would cause rows and they will look onto you as interfering. So what you need to do is sit down with your husband and talk about it so you two are in agreement, then you need to ask for a family meeting (both of you) with just his mum and dad..let him (if he's willing) explain how they seem to treat him in regards to his siblings,the business etc, and see if you can discuss it in an adult manner but i would suggest although you are married and have been for over a year, you should be there but take a back-seat if you know what i mean until either your husband or his parents get you involved in the conversation...good luck and hope i helped a little...Jenny