I’m 17. And I am so tired. I have no energy. No motivation to do anything anymore. I feel like no one truly likes me and I have to be someone I’m not for anyone to want to be around me. I want friends, but most of the time I’d rather just stay in my room and sleep. I like to fantasize about other peoples lives instead of going out and living my own. I feel the safest when I sleep. It sucks because the only things I really ever cared about are all dead, so I’m wondering if I should be too. I’ve recently stopped speaking to my best friend. And it looks like I’m not going to get to graduate high school. My head always feels like its going to explode and I constantly feel sick to my stomach over life. I miss my Grandpa. I miss my dog. I miss my cat. I miss feeling close to God. I miss wanting to feel close to God. I miss not having to do drugs and drink to feel happy. I miss feeling like people loved me and wanted me without being a slut. I miss being good at school. I miss having energy. I miss wanting to live. All I want to do is cry all the time, but I can’t. I can’t tell people how I feel, so I just keep it all inside. I feel like one of two things are going to happen: I’m either gonna crack and kill someone or crack and just kill myself. I don’t really want to hurt anyone so I think it’ll be the second option. In truth, I don’t want to die. I don’t want to go to hell. I want to go to Heaven where I can see my Grandpa and my pets. I’m not going to make it there though because I’m not good enough. I’m not worth it. All I do is take up space in this world and I’m sorry for that. I just want to be happy, but I don’t know how to be. I feel like I’m just hurting others and bringing them down by being here. Everyday when I drive I pray to God that I will get into a fatal accident. I’m done and I just want things to be over with. I can’t take it anymore. I really can’t. I need someone in my life that actually cares. Someone I can talk to and feel like they’re not secretly thinking mean things about me. I know that’ll never happen though. No one cares about me. Not truly. I don’t want to feel this way anymore, but I don’t think it can be helped. I’m already on anti depressants and they’ve done nothing for me. I know this little rant is all over the place, but I don’t know how to say what I feel. This is the best I could do. Can someone just answer me these questions? Is life worth it? Am I going to just wake up one day and feel like I used to? Feel happy? Is there really a God? Does He really care about me? If I die, am I going to hell? If I kill myself am I going to hell whether I’m a Christian or not? I can’t take it anymore. I can’t do this. Life is just too hard. It’s only for strong people and I’m just too weak. I’m sorry to everyone I’ve failed and everyone I’ve hurt and am going to hurt. I’m sorry that I couldn’t love myself as much as everyone else loved me.
Life is hard and everyone is weak. We all do the best we can and we try our best to create good moments in our lives to hold onto and share with others. Nobody can give you answers you're looking for., you need to go out and find them yourself.
Talk to someone about how you feel. If you really feel you can't handle life on your own talk to a mental health professional. It's likely that your brain chemistry is making things much harder for you than it needs to be.
I was just like you back in high school, so depressed about everything and unfortunately still am now. There are mornings that im so weak that I don't want to get out of bed. But I have to go to work early in the morning and go though another dreadful day. I was have a current problem that my friends don't understand me at all that I constantly treat them like crap but I don't really mean too. I feel so out of place.
I would have to agree with WOLF's reply. PLEASE talk to someone, anyone. Hell join your favorite band forum, there are tons of people you can relate too and talk about music and other stuff.
i really don't think it's helpful AT ALL for someone to post "Yeah, I felt like that in high school too - and I still do!!!" NICE job giving a little hope there!!! You know what, why would you even post something like that when the writer was clearly looking for a little hope in life, not to hear from someone who is also depressed and hasn't been able to get out of it. I am also depressed, and when I look online, all I want to hear from is people who say, "You know what, I was there - but I got past it and you can too". No one who is depressed REALLY wants to commiserate - no one who is depressed WANTS to be depressed - they are throwing a lifeline out so that SOMEONE, anyone, will maybe answer that there is a way out. I believe there is, and I still search. Remember this, SarahDoe: You ARE strong, ALL of us have something inside that we can tap and use, even if it is only to get through one more day. As long as you still breathe, there is hope. One thing I remember that helps me a LOT is that before I got depressed, where I am at now would have been UNTHINKABLE to me - so even though feeling better again is CURRENTLY unthinkable to me, if I was able to get to a depressed state from where I used to be (happy), getting happy again from where I am can happen too.
These quotes help me to go on:
When the world says, "Give up", Hope whispers, "Try it one more time." And,
Don't be discouraged. It's often the last key in the bunch that opens the lock. ~Author Unknown
Dealing with depression can be one of the hardest things you ever have to do in your life.
My depression set in at around 14, and 15 years later I'm only just now getting a handle on it.
1) Exercise- getting the blood moving makes a huge difference (even a walk)
2) Socialise- I always wanted to just stay home, but felt better as soon as I saw my friends.
3) Keep a diary- You need an outlet.
4) Diet- eat as healthy as you can
5) Supplements- I prefer natural remedies as opposed to medications.
I use Vitality Plus It's great for your mood and gives you alot of extra energy... it also boosts your bodies immunity and brain function
I am so so sorry you are havig these feelings. You are in a deep dark place right now. Was their a time in your life you felf happy, confident, and worthy. It's easy for us to tell you how to cope, as much as I under stand about depression, we all suffer from it in so many different days. I think you are worthy, I think you are very intelligent to realise you ar not at a good place. You are acknowledging how you feel which is the first step to recovery. Remember God is loving and kind, he doesnt want you to hurt yourself. We all are the children of God. Remember that. We all have something to offer, are talented, and should seek every avenue that is out their to help ourselves. As hard and difficult is seems right now things can only get better. Try to think of the positive and happy memories you have had in the past. Remember their was a time you felt good about your life. I truly am so sorry things are so hard. If this continues I suggest you seek professional help. I have had to do this and it was the best thing for me. I was able to understand why I was having these feelings. The first step to feeling better. It may take a while but try to remember life has so much to offer, you are young, dont give up, you have a whole life ahead of you. If you believe in God ask him for help to get past all these negative feelings. Do you have anyone to talk to who will listen and be sensitive? You need the support of family and friends at this point. Because of the lack of trust issues you are having right now it's easy for me to say that. If things dont get better see a psychotherapist, they are trained to help you search for answers. I believe we all have so much to offer others, we have talents, and our worthy of love. You are special, remember that. Once again try to think of happier times, and seek the help you need. You are important, intelligent, talented and have more insight that you may think. Please let me know how you are doing? Feel free to talk to me anytime if you feel the need to talk to someone.
I have felt depressed and alone for a long time and am very depressed as well, would love to die but just cant find the strength to end it.I have no energy and cant even get up most days. Lost my family 2 years ago, my wife decided she was gay and left. I lost everything, my job, house everything. I am 45 and have found myself with no direction. I get sick thinking about going back to the job I once had, want to do something else but dont have the energy to look. Found a new girlfriend and she is beautiful and alot younger but it has not changed anything. I still feel the same. I am on anti depressents but they do nothing. I need a miracle. Mike
I am a 23-year-old who moved to a new state and been here for a few years. I'm here with my boyfriend of four years. I had a really hard time in high school SARAHDOE! When I was there I couldn't realize that High school is not forever! I wish I could have done things differently in high school but I guess that's what life is all about. I promise you that you do not have to see these people ever again when High school is over. People can be really mean and that's what didn't help my depression! It does get better and you are not alone! I have my ups and downs. I notice myself trying to wind myself up for the day and talk to myself to try and get me as positive as can be. I started to really well after high school and then I moved and been in a long-term relationship. I have found that my depression has gotten bad again. I sleep all day and have no motivation to do anything! I go to work at night come home and go to sleep til I work the next day. I am not happy and do not want to be on medication. I want to be able to have support and be able to make my mind happier again. It's not fun sometimes being in your mind by yourself. Actually, it scares the living crap out of me sometimes. I just want to feel like I have a purpose again and get my life better...any suggestions?? And SARAHDOE, thank you for sharing your story...I really relate to you and you are very brave for sharing your feelings. Always remember you are not alone and that people do care! If you don't believe that, I care!
I care Sarah. I am just some 50 year old bloke in spam unapproved and sitting here feeling much the same way as you. I know that a couple of things help me although I am not a perfect example of how to deal with these things myself! 1. Admit you have a mental health problem and do try to get some professional help. 2. Know that things can get better in small steps but it wont happen overnight.3. Try to get out and do some exercise. 4. Know there really are people who genuinely care about you.... like me.. some stranger who has an affinity for others 5. Now this is the biggy... start to help other people yourself. Believe it or not there are other people who have lives that "suck" more than yours... so just go and help them in whatever way you can. (take care though to stay safe). 6. I am also struggling with this... but try not to give up on GOD. Even though he may not be that evident to you as he isn't with me.
WISH I COULD JUST GIVE YOU ONE GREAT BIG HUG SARAH and say tough it out girl... things can get better... I will pray 4 u
Sarah my dear.
I suffered...suffer from depression. I am 28 now, but when I was 18 I started to get very sick and the depression came on quickly and it got worse and better over 3 years until it got so bad and I couldn't cope any longer. I ended up in care for the depression. I would NOT give up though! I refused. I figured...well, I will die or get better...kind of a "rock bottom theory". And after a month and a half in hospital with care (feeling a bit like a crazy person) and all types of medical testing (because I was having serious health issues to boot) I finally felt like I had enough rest and courage to face the world and my life again. But this time I went to a Natural Practitioner (who also happened to be a Dr.) and I started to read books about enlightenment and positive energy. After a some work, physically & mentally, I changed things in my life. I went back to university, got out of my negative relationship and met someone amazing, and built my life with loving positive ppl around me. I now have a degree in Business Finance with distinctions, studied in Europe, landed a great job, and have a full life with a broad horizon. Don't get me wrong, I have my times where I struggle to stay positive or out of the gutter, but I will never be where I was 7 years ago. Life is based on choice...you can't control what always happens, you can only control your actions. U can make the choice to say NO, I want to try everything I can to change and I WILL get better! You won't wake up all better one morning, but you can take steps in the direction to being less sick and feeling happier feelings again. It's kind of like learning a new language. I will tell you, there is 1 book that changed my life - "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle. Read it and anything from the Dahli Lama you can Life isn't over or terrible, you just can't see if from the right angle yet. I promise. Be kind to yourself and understanding; the way you would to another suffering soul.