For the last 5-7 months, i have been very sad i have no confidence and very low self esteem, for the past 3-4 days i have sat in my room on my own and don't want to leave. i often cry over little things, i get very paranoid and if i do not see my boyfriend i will automatically think he is cheating and cry about it, even when he hasn't, i don't know if this is to do with it but, i always forget what i'm about to do/say or what someones just asked me, i also think i hear my friends say stuff to me and ask them what they said and they say that they haven't said anything, when in a group of friends i will be the quiet one i usually just think and don't talk, i smoke cannabis which dosen't help, i have so much trouble sleeping, sometimes i lay in bed for hours before i actually fall asleep, and for the past month my appitite has dissapeared, also i get offended so easily, and get very angry and will take my anger out on anyone near by i don't calm down quickly either, and i occasionly get suicide thoughts, about 2 months ago i was sitting in my room looking around and trying to work out how certain things could kill me and in what ways they could, i really do think theres somthing wrong with me, but i just don't know what, i don't want to go to my doctors because i feel as if she dosn't like me or want me there.
honey you know that lately the way you act is not normal. and you know that your depressed.
so it is up to you to save your self its your duty towards your self. if you didn't take care of your self no one will. you will start losing every thing. people will be tired of trying to pleas you or trying to communicate with you. your boyfriend will be sick of you accusing him and acting this way.
women will always sacrify for love for her man BUT men they rarely do its not their nature. if they got sick of us they will leave.
sorry for being so honest with you but this is life and this is a wake up call
you need to go to your doctor even if she doesn't like you. your not going on a date with her your seeking treatment.or go to a walking clinic
do what ever it takes to get out of your shell
physical movement reduce stress and fresh you up
do something you didn't do go out go to the pool or go for a walk do some activity.
if your waiting to wake up feeling better then your dreaming nothing will happen unless you do it.
forget about every one including your boyfriend and do something for your self go to a spa.
don't waist your time and your life do something you would feel good about your self