Hi. Here is my story. I am 28 female, leave in CA, graduated..
For all my life i was pretty 'good girl' and never smoked/used drugs and only was occasional alcohol drinker.
10 months ago my college at job offered me nicotine patches. He said they greatly help with focus - it was big project time and we had long working hours - so i decided nicotine will do no damage for me - how wrong i was!!!!!
I was using nicoderm nicotine patch 21mg for 2 weeks(seems it was huge nicotine overdose for my brain) - it was great for focus and it really helped with my project.
BUT! Couple of days after quitting i felt anxiety(i was never prone to it), sorts of panic attacks, shortage of breath and insomnia. I become VERY irritable. My friend told me that it's withdrawal and they will go away...(why he never told me about those when suggesting patches???!!!)
Step by step these side effect become less strong, but never completely go away...
Here is my biggest problem now - i become weak, grouchy, i can't control my emotions, my fears... And this influences my personal life.
I have boyfriend, very handsome guy, we've been in relationship for 3 years + 10month. He can be arrogant to other people, but for those really close to him(his family, friends, me) - he is very nice, sensitive person.
All this 3 years he was super nice to me, he treated me like princess, my friends were jealous))) He was always calling me, worrying about me, taking care...
But after this nicotine experience things changes. Firstly i became irritable, grouchy, had mood swings and gave him very hard time - i explained that it's nicotine cravings and they will go away. Then, with each passing month i saw less and less respect to me and i let it go. Before nicotine if he wasn't right in something i simply was waiting for him to apologize, never called myself first, etc... But now i simply can't. It's like craving. Any emotional stress, i start craving nicotine, this cravings turns me in weaker person and i will call him ,will apologize, will be crying even if he was wrong....
I observed the same thing with 2 my other best friends - they way they looked at me, treated me changed and not in good way(((
I simply can't control myself, my emotions, my feeling anymore. I changed, i am weaker, i can be grouchy, i can complain, i can give hard time, i can be like 5 years old girl. The people tired of me easily, we can't spend me that 2 days with my boyfriend without me getting emotional over smng... Before we can spend weeks and weeks together and he used any chance to spend more time with me, now i noticed he avoids me!!! I myself hate what nicotine turned me into!!! I never was nervous/emotional person, never prone to stress - now i can explode any time.
Here is what i've found:
"Scientists say cigarettes' most addictive component -- nicotine -- may also lead to degeneration in a region of the brain that affects emotional control, sexual arousal, REM sleep and seizures."
it had been 10 month since i am OFF nicotine. Will my brain recover?
Anybody had similar experience? When will it go away?