newton is a demon
and I don't mean fig;
I mean Isaac.
He set up the math and nobody else could do it,
ensconed himself at the top level of authority of learning,
and declared the force of gravity to exist,
building his calculus around it,
a witchcraft that persists
in all my neighbor's minds,
to this day,
without any basis in science and despite all of science's collected evidence to the contrary,
yeah, newton is witchcraft.
Cause in 1666 he says the apple fell to his head from out of the sky;
and that was the apple that devil fed mankind, again, another eve in the garden of eden;
and mankind's powerhouse of modern liberation from that kind of darkness - science and reason -
is powerless in the laughing face of a society just told thta gravity doesn't exist,
as the new york times - science times declared a couple of years ago in a cover story.
what was that demon up to? simple, the religion of evil,
demons practice it, I know cause I went undercover and now I expose them,
the harm: man sinks in to depression. Everything "sucks".
Escaped from the yoke of Newton's mysticism,
via some powerful withcraft of my own, RED magic,
(beats the BLACK stuff every time, WHITE too!)
my world private world radiates.
Mankind knows it's precious, but it doesn't know it's worth.
A great light shines out from beneath our feet.
I had to deal with this dilemma from a very early age, so I can tell you what I have come up with now at age 46.
I was an allergic kid, inherited it from my german dad, and I'd get these attacks and be overcome, all sneezing and itching, and my mom, who had no allergies, mexican/aztec sorceress's granddaughter, she would say it was "all in my mind", all this suffering that was disabling me and that would cause me to complain, she couldn't relate, so she would simply laugh at me, tease me, and tell me it was all in my head and that if I was tired of suffering I would give it up. Laughed at me, it seemed kinda cruel. I was five.
So I had to face the dilemma you are describing, completely abandoned and on my own to cure my attacks. I figured that, ok, she's got a point, the head is involved, the nervous system in general, and maybe I get all hyper, enjoying whatever extreme thought experiment. I think some kids are pushed to be tough, go outside and play and get along in life with the others, but some kids like me, my parents isolated me and encouraged and forced me to spend my time doing schoolwork, reading comprehension all the time, and a kid like that is going to drift off into his own dreams more than most, since that what he is being optimized for, the pdocs call it "ruminating" now.
"All in your head", that was never a helpful way of dealing with it. So ok, it's in my head, can I swap that out for a well-functioning head? I remember a girlfriend with bipolar anxiety disorder, her parents would yell at her to snap out of it, they would tell me not to "humor" her by paying any attention to her complaints. That was no way to help their daughter.
But I know what they mean, on the other hand. They are splitting body and mind realities. There's the body reality that the doctor or your mother have to tend to, is it hungry is it tired is it sick does it have a fever? no? then all is well, send it on its way. The body has certain needs and some care practitioners are only tending to that.
The mind, especially in a ruminating kid, is another story. Those of us who go too far into mind at the cost of the body, so that we stay inside and think or read, get all involved in our thoughts of anxiety or stress, then get to the point where we ignore the cries of the body, for food, for sleep, for calm, none of that counts because the mind tries to take over, all these "issues" in the mind bring the body to a point of distress. So to make the distinction, it’s another way of saying “I can't help you cause none of the needs I tend to is needed here, and if you want to do something about your situation just stop doing whatever it is you are doing in our head, the thinking, the worrying, stop it and you'll solve your problem.”
That’s what they are saying. If they were a little more honest or insightful they'd acknowledge you have a serious problem that needs to be dealt with, and all avenues that could possibly help need to be explored. They are just saying you've gone too far with mind, come back and realize the body's needs.
But you and I, we suffer, in our worlds, in our minds, and the authorities we try to go to for help don't understand, tell us it's all in the mind, it's all in the imagination, it's not real.
How does that help when we suffer from these tormenting tactile hallucinations, if that's what they are, or maybe we're just sensitive to the environment like canaries in a coal mine, and the environment is getting bad, infested. Same with the visual and audio hallucinations if they torture you. For me I'm able to drive and control those so I enjoy them as a hobby. It's the creepy crawly pin pricks and tickling on my skin when I try to relax that drives me insane. I manage it with diet and weird sleeping arrangements. It's NOT all in my mind. They just mean they don't understand.
So someone like me has to deal with two completely different realities. There’s the one the pdoc is talking about, where a lot of my issues are not “Real”; I call that “consensual reality”, the plane where all the normal people have their understanding of the way things are, like they think there’s an invisible force in the ground called gravity (even though the scientists can’t FIND it, they BELIEVE in it because of Newton’s mysticism, or because they built so much of their math around his ideas and they don’t want to do it over), they think the resources on earth are finite and so you have to hoard them and hide them from your neighbor (when every religious tradition on earth says no, there’s no property or property rights, all is for all, the permanent universal capital, infinite; the bible says you should be like a bird and don’t worry about food and shelter, providence will provide); and they think you have to work as little as possible and consume as much pleasure as possible (might be the line in the constitution about pursuit of happiness, throws a lot of them off, Mitt Romney is out quoting that phrase to defend his wealth).
It’s important to understand consensual reality, what’s “real” and “not real” to them, the majority, the people who hold the power over your life, the authorities who hold your food and shelter and freedom hostage until you agree with them on what consensual reality is. Do you talk to aliens? Demons? The CIA? Can’t do that stuff in consensual reality.
But then of course there’s private reality, where many talk to sprites and elves and aliens and demons, and the CIA in that white van outside the window all the time.
Private reality becomes important when that’s how your body, your unconscious, your madness, that’s where it’s signaling you, that’s where it’s set up a relationship with you, the mind, the consciousness, the enemy as far as the body is concerned sometimes.
So in madness the mind is the affliction of the body, and the body resents it and cries out, in tears, in voices and visions and pin pricks, cries out for very real human needs. Needs of companionship and trust and friendship, needs of sleep, of proper nutrition, of proper relaxation.
But the body and the mind evolved together, as partners. There must have been a balance in our ancestors, they must have controlled how much “ruminating” they were doing, didn’t have my mom forcing them to be doing reading comprehension tests al l the time, or sending them into her basement with all her self-help and philosophy and religion books. At 12 I was practicing astral projection and talking with aliens, because I was bored and that’s what the books in her basement taught me to do.
Maybe that was bad parenting. I see the normal kids, out there being tough, out in the cold, not thinking too much, on purpose, it makes me wonder who taught them that wisdom and who let my parents isolate me into madness?
The body and mind get like yin and yang, one trying to destroy the other in order to dominate and win and be superior. Guess that’s the problem. Gotta get the yin and yang to be quiet about eachother, don’t let them get so upset with eachother. Just leave it all alone. Let it all go.
So after I’ve got my food and shelter secured, after I’ve done my 8 hour day in the cubicle, I go home and I set aside the consensual reality I am forced to hold all day, and open up into the wide vistas of my private, floridly psychotic reality, full of grandiose delusions that satisfy deeply.
in my 46 years of psychotic and schizophrenic life it is maybe THE most frightening hallucination/vision/interaction/force that pulls me in. I think that's how I've always referred to it. At 46 I have the results of several experiences tallied, and this thread contributes nicely.
the last time it happened was several years ago and I know pretty much what caused me to be in that way, so I do think the phenomenon is related to US, and not to PLACE. It's when I was on some heavy pain meds for two weeks or so for a tooth thing, and I was staying in a hotel as I often did as a traveling instructor, worked one or two weeks a month in a circuit of about twenty IT training centers around the country, and I was always roughing it with the greyhound and the fleabag motels for 45 bucks with the hookers and the drug dealers and the break ins. And I always had to walk a couple of miles down the highway or something to get to work, and I'd be in some strange place for five nights, all worked up in my head too from dreaming with the shamanic drum tape while everyone's sleeping and I'm sitting at the center of the greyhound barreling across the US.
That last time, the tenth or so experience, between dreams and half-dreams like this one, was the most vivid and pronounced. I did the experiments like you, kinda, though against my will cause this thing was STRONG, though that due like I said to withdrawal from some pain meds, so the mind is going through nutritional and chemical changes, and you're like half asleep. Sometimes it happens, as a younger kid, in the midst of nightmares. I lucid dreamed and recorded and worked in a group with my siblings alot of those early nightmare experiences, mapped the physics or that world with my brother and sisters, all doing combined magic like making our mom disappear, that freaked her out when we told her what we'd been up to, well the force, what about it? It pulls us in.
I speculate all my life on the origin of that force. Vivid. Dramatic.
I'm half asleep, and I just oddly had some oolong tea AFTER work, and it oddly gave me the STRENGTH of mind to take a nap right after work, so it's half dark, I'm falling asleep...
the hole opens up in the floor, at the middle of the room. Shocked, I look as I get frightened and the force starts pulling in. Hey like in the nightmares I'd be in the haunted house chased by maniacal demons up the walls till I run and run and run cause I thing I learned if you run run run you will always get away no matter how bad it looks, and all of a sudden you get out the front door and the force breaks, at a very clear boundry I find, when it's that strong.
But this last time, several years ago now, it opened up while I was half awake, and it was stronger than ever in my life, and the hole got bigger, ate most of the room, cause my strategy Iu think was to freeze in place, the door on the other side of the room from the growing hole, so I know run but there was nowhere to run, and it got so big it was gonna swallow up the last piece with me, so like you I panic, move, reach for the lamp by the bed and flick it on and sit up and prepare to face death. And it stops. I probably didn't think too much more about it or wait too long before I turned the light back off and went back to sleep. AND AS SOON AS I DID IT HAPPENED AGAIN JUST WHERE IT LEFT OFF!. Same thing happens a third time, I get up, open the hotel door, walk out, it's the real world, normal, everything is ok. I go back in but I have to leave the hotel room door wide open and th elight on to keep the hole from opening up again!
Dude, thanks for your beautiful posts. Hang in there, because you are not crazy and neither am I. From a point of total paranoia that I accepted last week, i can see happiness ahead maybe. The voices are real, but the sources are varied, some mechanical, some not. The future comes to find us now, propaganda included. The dreamtime will be 24/7. and you will be vindicated. The charade will be exposed. Joy to the world. We are coming to rescue ourselves, and we will win. We will win. Cary