Self Injury Forum - NEW TO CUTTING

Mental Health > Self Injury Forum > NEW TO CUTTING

Q: NEW TO CUTTING

asked by: Phocks on September 25th, 2008

Experienced User

Back story...After trying everything to give up smoking from patches and gum to hypnotheropy I went to the new wonder drug Champix. Within 2 weeks I started to notice changes within in my moods. I managed to keep control of it as I figured it was a small price to pay to beat the cigs. 3 months down the track I am suffering depression and anxiety.

3 weeks ago I found myself sitting alone in a park with a peice of glass cutting at my arm. I cut myself 40 - 50 times....yes thats right!!!!

I find myself now thinking about cutting. The other night I was washing the dishes and I was just looking down at a knife...then out of no where I stabbed my arm!!! not just a little prick as I hit the bone!!!

What is going in????? How do I get enjoyment out of this???? I cant talk to anyone as I feel like a damn freak!!!! I am not a teenager...i am a parent with 2 children to look after....why would I do this to myself???

Replies(5)

illustriously fickle

replied on September 26th, 2008

Experienced User

That seems serious! Is there a mental health clinic near you? You might need some help detoxing from that drug, which can cause psychotic episodes.

Phocks

replied on September 29th, 2008

Experienced User

I have an appointment with a psychologist this thursday.

But I am really scared to tell them what is going on with me.

Along with the cutting I am having very disturbing and violent dreams. Then fantasising about the dreams afterwards.

I dont know what is going on!!!!

I am not a violent person but I fear I have become one!!!

illustriously fickle

replied on September 30th, 2008

Experienced User

Good news! I'd suggest that you disclose all of your concerns. Honesty is always the best policy in my opinion, especially when you are dealing with the psyche. Please let us know what the psychologist recommends!

innocence

replied on January 12th, 2009

New User

your not alone

I am 29 years old and have 2 kids. Last night was the firt time i cut myself. I couldnt cope with the mental anxiety anymore. I just found this razor blade and started slicing my arm. I needed to escape from my pain and it helped. I feel like a phscho btch. and im scared that it will happen again. I have bandaids around my arm and need to come up with some story to tell my family, friends and co workers. I understand why I cut but I dont know if this is a one time thing or if it will progress. All i can do is give you support if you need it.

J3nnyuk

replied on January 12th, 2009

Supporter

hey phocks am sorry to hear about your situation, i heard a few people saying they had depression on the drug champix to stop smoking i guess it just effects people in different ways as i have taken it for 3 months and i am ok, I also went through a stage of mild depression a few years back i cut my arm to it just seemed a release from it all but i am all better now and would never do anything like that again, i hope you get better soon for yourself and your family if you need to talk just send me a msg i will be glad to help if i can Jenny

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