I met this guy in october, started to get to know him in january. Nice guy, about 15 years older then me but generally easy to talk to and fun to just be around.
When we first started *really* talking it was heavy -- lots of serious...hopes dreams goals parents beliefs, the good the bad the ugly...all of it. Shortly thereafter we got physically involved....I did know about the bipolar at that point but he said it didnt normally affect him much.
After that he felt bad because he was still in a relationship with another girl (who is also a client of his)....and he asked for some space so I gave it to him (freaking out the whole way cause I do liked the guy and things seemed to click).
At the end of the two weeks he came to the decision that the relationship he was in was the wrong one and that he wanted to give it a go with me....we started talking pretty seriously again. It was really ooey gooey and it sounded alot to me like he wanted to make a go at a serious relationship.
Well...it was like this for two weeks -- very serious...basically happy, good everything was sweet and awsome.
But then we started talking a little bit less and less...and over the last two weeks the communication has diminished. He told me in the beginning that he would let me know if he had any problems with me...and he hasnt done that....and over that period of time he was still asking me to come over on occasion and making refrenses to an us and the possibility of the future (like mentioning a cruise together two sundays ago)
Well...over the last week or so the communication really slowed down. Last Wedesday I asked him if he was only interested in friends with benefits and his immediate response was no....but when I also said I could see us heading towards boyfriend/girlfriend and said it might be too early for that he said it probably was...but at the same time he said he wanted me to come by to see him before I left the area.
Thursday almost no communication...friday saturday and sunday I was on a bus. trip and decided that I would give him space and not make contact...and on saturday night he messaged me asking if I wanted to come over sunday afternoon and also made an oblique refrence to being physically intimate at the least.
Sunday rolls around and he's in a crummy mood...and says he's feeling really irritable and anti-social for the first time in four months....I'm kind of thinking hmmm...maybe thats why he's slowed down the chatting....I know he's got alot of bad going on with one of his Ex's...and he's also got some guilt because he hasnt figured out what to do about the g/f yet. He was feeling a little better towards the end of the evening because he took his drugs though. I was a little uncertain (I do have self esteem issues) so I didnt stay and spend as much time as usual...but he did hug and kiss me like I mattered before I left...and least thats what it felt like to me.
Monday rolls around and I talk to him briefly online....but when I offer my beach house for a vacation in a few weekends, I get no response...and when I ask if he is still interested in me, no response...and not long after that he goes idle....so I dont know if he was avoiding the question or not.
Havent heard from him since...I've been sending him a good morning / good evening text twice a day and leaving it at that just to let him know I'm thinking of him.
So basically I suppose my question (its more of reassurance) is that does this kind of behavior -- being totally into me and than just suddenly / randomly screeching to a halt and not talking to me is -- common with bipolar disorder? It makes me wonder if he isnt responding because he is feeling antisocial and unhappy and doesnt want to say something wrong or if its because he really just isnt interested....but if he wasnt interested I would think he would tell me right?
If he is going through bad spot is it right to just quietly let him know I'm thinking of him or is it better to leave it alone?
lol, confusion...it may or may not be bipolar...but one of my friends thinks it is...she's bipolar herself and thought that he is just in one of his lows right now and isnt communicating because of that....she was the one who suggested I not leave him alone entirely...that I quietly just let him know I'm still thinking of him and not cutting him off.
I guess I hope it is more of something along the lines of his being bipolar...that I can handle...and I'd like to be able to help where I can...but if this sounds like plain lack of interest then I need to start looking for ways to get myself to stop likeing him.
Anyway...I suppose that's enough rambling...what do ya'll think?
My boyfriend is bipolar. The question you have to ask yourself is this. If you didn't already know he was bipolar, would you still be wondering if he wanted a relationship with you? I'm thinking you probably would have moved on by now. It seems as though you would rather have the excuse of him being bipolar as the reason for his actions than the fact that "he's just not that into you." My words may be harsh, and I'm not trying to hurt your feelings. The reason I am being so blunt is this. One of the symtoms of this disorder is being over sexual, which can also lead to affairs in order to fill this need. Also, bipolars are the BEST liars! They are usually very smart, and know just what to say in sticky situations. It's hard to say if he is bipolar or not. I can say this....my boyfriend has never ignored me. When he is "normal", things are perfect. When he is depressed or manic, he won't leave me alone. I hope this helps! Guys are hard enough to figure out....if I were you I would move on, as hard as it may be.