I’ve been reading a lot of the stuff on here before posting, and I have to say, my own limitations pale in comparison but any advice would be great if you can spare the time. Just writing this will help me in a way I guess.

I’m never happy, but I don’t have anything serious to be unhappy about.
I find it difficult to talk to people in person. Speaking about something for even a short period is physically exhausting most of the time and looking someone in the eye is quite an effort.
I am often blunt with people to the extent they must find it rude and have been told I mumble way too much.
I rarely if ever receive compliments, and when I do I don’t know how to take them, I’m pretty sure my reaction either always comes off as totally false, or rude, or like I don’t want the compliment because I don’t like them or something – which isn’t true.
When I try to be nice or to smile or give compliments it always seems forced.
If people try to talk to me I become quickly bored and just want them to go away.

One guy I know gets seriously depressed if he doesn’t socialize, whereas I really would rather just be left alone as after any social event I don’t feel good/happy, I feel terrible. I actually avoid group social encounters for the fact that if they get to speak to me outside work or wherever, they’ll dislike me and make the whole situation worse, and that’s not just in my head – it’s happened.

It’s getting a bit out of hand. I have no friends, in fact most people dislike me and I don’t blame them, and now, it’s affecting my job. The fact that I'm always so... robotic and gain no pleasure from speaking to other people and have nothing really to say kind of makes me diffucult to talk to.


Now, you might be thinking right now, if I’m not unhappy, or if I don’t care if people don’t like me, then there is no problem. I know enough to understand this isn’t healthy. On very rare occasions I do feel good, and when I do I am instantly nicer to people, seem to have more energy, smile, have more energy, the sun seems brighter, the colors around me more vibrant.
I still suck at talking to people when that happens and since most people don’t like me 5 mins of happy/nice me isn’t really going to go far :p

I don’t smoke, have never done drugs, avoid even taking paracetamol, and drinking doesn’t seem effect my mood. At once point I was drinking so much that people thought I was an alchholic, so I stopped, just like that, and didn’t miss it. Drinking was simply a habit that helped pass time, there was no enjoyment from it.
I’ve felt like this forever, so anything you can think of that might be the cause, or any suggestions would be great.

Thanks in Advance!