I know I'm young...I'm 18, I guess I do have alot of life ahead of me. Just seems un normal to be alone at my age. I never finished high school, I'm actually planning to change my life around this year. I did meet this great girl online 4 years ago and we really wanted (want?) to meet up, but we're kinda far, and it would have to wait until 2 more years, and she is sort of rejecting me now, because she's guilty because I came back after we lost contact with each other for a while, and doesn't want us both to be hurt. Here I am, like I always am, all by myself, no friends, nothing. Every day I live, it just feels like a waste. Like I have a boulder on my shoulders preventing me from being happy. I feel drained of my emotions, all that's in me is fear and lonliness. I have no social life, no girlfriend, I have insomnia, I sleep alot during the day, and that's pretty much it. As these years pass I just feel more and more hopeless, more and more scared, that I'll never ever find anyone. I'd love to know how it really feels to be loved by someone, finding that perfect someone that you were meant to be with. I'm terrible at socializing. I don't think i'm ugly, I'm tall and skinny, white, brown hair, like all average guy's my age. I just feel like I can't do it. I don't know what to do. When people talk to me I just stand there and just talk....or stay silent like a brick wall. It's really hard for me. Just don't know where to start.

If there are any guys out there like me, who always wonder why you feel left out, why you can't do anything, feel like your chained up in swords and can't get free, and what will happen to you, and in your love life, just remember you're not alone. Maybe we are like this for a reason. Maybe god has a special plan for us. I don't know, no-one will ever know. Guess only time can tell.

Just remember your not alone.....