I'm new here and getting ready to vent! Hope it's okay with you!!
I'm 32, my sister is 12 years older than me and lives in the same town as my mom. I'm 5 hours away - but might as well be 50....
The last two summers my family and I (sister and her family, my mom, me and BF) have gotten together for vacations. Last summer we went to the beach and they were mad at me for spending so much time with BF (again, I'm 32) and only spending some day trips and EVERY dinner with them. This summer they all came to my house! We spent Friday together riding my 4 wheeler and bbqing and Saturday at an amusment park. I'd already told them I'm not going again on Sunday. Yet when Sunday rolled around my sister was mad that we didn't let her kids ride the 4wheeler some more and that I didn't go to the park again.... AHHH!!!
Another thing my sister complained about was that I didn't make breakfast but rather only had cereal. Should I feel like a bad host because of that??
I don't know what to do at this point. I really feel like I'm not good enough for them and always the outcast. I really do try.
Any good family relationship books you can advise on? What are you opinions?
Hospitality can be thought of as unselfishness and total thoughtfulness for your guests . It's easy to conceptualize and difficult to practice. Perhaps, in the interest of harmony, you can really surrender your own desires when you are with your family and go with the flow. I think that it's less about understanding your family from your mind and more about connecting with them with your heart.
Here's my thought: Last summers vacation, was it agreed upon that you all had to be together ALL the time? From what you describe you spent time with them. I don't see why they made such a big deal. Is it a controlling issue?
Now on to them coming to your house. Breakfast is breakfast and if she wanted something else I am sure there was an eatery somewhere to accommodate her likings. Iit sounds like you allowed them to ride the 4-wheeler and if you decided not to let it continue that is your choice, not hers. If she wanted to go to the park again, then she should go and if you did not want to, that is your choice. You went once, why go again?
Should you feel bad? If I was in your shoes, no I would not feel bad at all. You did nothing wrong. There are just some that are hard to please, family or not. Have you ever taken a vacation without family members? It can be quite liberating.
i m a bad host! it seems like you did your best but some people like to complain about something. your good b/c i dont deal with the majority of my family b/c theyre negative, alcolholics, or whatever. i am the outcast in my family.
agreed you should take a vacation w/o out your complaining family. just you and b/f.