I'm a 28 year old guy and don't seem to ever get a full erection. I've had sex in the past but not sure if I've had a full erection or not. With my current girlfriend I can only get what I think is semi-hard but not hard enough for sex. I have managed to ejaculate once but wasn't during sex. I've just read a post that says if you can ejaculate it means you are fully erect....can I be fully erect if i'm not hard enough for actual sex? This is definatly not psycological as not nervous with my partner. Any ideas?
Thank you for your reply. I did masturbate as a teenager but the same thing happened back then. I takes me around half an hour to ejaculate but usually I get bored before then. My erection is firm but not how it should be, it's not erect enough for sex as I tried quite a few times with no success. I haven't acknowledged this problem in the past and I now see I have sub consiously avoided any guy conversations. I think this is the reason I'm sexually inexperienced too, I just avoided being put in the situation where I have to admit my problem. I'm confused as I don't know if I would be able to ejaculate at all with a semi, this makes me wonder if I am fully hard but for me this isn't hard enough for sex. I am waiting to see a urologist but might be sometime before I get an appointment. I don't know if viagra could help as I thinks its more to sustain an erection rather that provide one! If anyone can relate to this I'd welcome any comments.
I can relate I'm 31 and my problem started when I was 28 as well. I only get fully erect when I am about to ejaculate, when I masturbate it stays semi hard not hard enough for intercourse though, then all of sudden when it's time to ejaculate it will get super hard. Sometimes I will get super hard at first and then it will go soft again until it's time to ejaculate. I don't know what the problem is my doctors told me I was fine and nothing was wrong. I use viagra when me and girlfriend have sex and I perform beautifully but I'm tired of relying on a pill and paying for them as well!! If anyone else is experiencing this some info would be greatly appreciated.
Im also having the same problem. When I masturbate its semi erect. but at the point of climax its very hard. But this does not happen always for me. Sometimes when I masturbate I get a full erection till the point I stop masturbating.
I get an erection and can have sex with it.. but the girl can never go on top because it is not hard enough.. it is not a full erection and my doctor told me to not have sex with my partner and just have foreplay for 2 weeks and then try.. still no change but they dont seem to do anything to help appart from try the things I know dont work.. so I would love any info anyone has on this
At 26, I have never had a full erection. i knew early on as a teenager that something was wrong... when I was aroused, I would feel blood flow increase dramatically in my penis; However, I noticed that after I chubbed up to the point where my penis would begin erecting, I began experiencing a distinct sensation that I described to my 13-14 year old self as a an outflowing or draining. At this point, blood flow would engorge my penis up to a certain point, and as if reaching a water table, the draining sensation would begin. A year later or so, i attempted but never was able successfully to masturbate because the simple stimulation of stroking or touching did nothing more than increased the rate of this draining. Even when I was certain I was aroused mentally, and blood flow was increased down there, I was only engorged to the point of what I would consider a chub. At certain times when I met a beautiful girl or saw pornography I liked, I would think 'wow! I am really turned on,' only to check and find that I, indeed, had significant blood flow and sensitivity, and yet no hint of erection. The simple act of lifting my penis up manually drained out the majority of the accumulated engorgement.
One day, tried at a hunch and mildly constricted my penis with my hands while masturbating. It was quite a revelation, because my penis became pretty hard and I enjoyed the stimulation more and actually climaxed/ejaculated. I started using rubber bands and string, etc, although never too tight. If you are still reading and are skeptical about the implications of constriction on actual sexual arousal, I want to say that I was NEVER able to get this to work if I wasn't actually aroused, and have had instances where I became quickly turned off by something while masturbating whilst constricted and the erection went away immediately.
This gave me some answers and questions. I knew that wasn't natural to constrict ones penis for arousal, and I didn't want that to become part of my routine, so I stopped. I determined that the draining sensation was not a figment of my imagination, and that the draining was the source of the issue.
Here is where the logical answers end, leaving the empirical process open-ended for emotional, sexually charged, emasculating, embarrassing, existential, and debilitatingly depressing questions of a 16-17 year old who can't get it up. I thought that I might be gay for a while, which i know now is very untrue. I thought that I was not masculine enough to be sexually aroused enough to have sex with a girl. I thought, erroneously, that vaginal intercourse would provide the magical kind of stimulation and constriction I required to enjoy sex. I had feelings of contempt for girls extended from the contempt I had for my ED, so I never EVER approached girls for fear of lacking performance during sex, even though I knew it probably wouldn't lead to as immediately as the onset of my involuntary paralytic fear of embarrassment.
What made my issue more frustrating is that I started getting asked out a lot (10-12 times over that senior year) without any instigation on my part, all of which I shot down as gracefully as I could (more and more gracefully and self-implicating... as I saw, in great irony, that my own sexual issues indirectly hurt and insulted these girls). I even began receiving direct propositions for sex from girls I had known for a while, and my subsequent sidestepping an answer ruined those relationships and in one or two cases elicited personal attacks on me by the girls and their friends. Eventually During this year that I was suddenly very appealing to women without any attempts on my part, ( I wasn't popular, no clubs, no Sports, no interests beside leaving high school) I met a girl that I liked that liked me back. She very skillfully worked to open me up. She made the first move on everything in a very tactful manner that was so disarming, I couldnt feel my own fear of that eventual and fateful moment of sexual expectation.. We made out, fooled around here and there and spent most every waking moment together. We really liked each other, and she made me feel SO comfortable, and we very gradually, over the course of 2 months, escalated to vaginal intercourse. Now, I was so nervous that even if I didn't have ED, I would never have been able to get hard enough for intercourse. Thankfully for our solidified relationship healthily involving sexuality but not involving intercourse for so long, she knew I was into her 'like that' and I gained confidence and comfort in the bedroom despite not actually having earned it. She knew that in order to work on having fun in the sac, then I would need to feel very comfortable. So she made it that way for me, and we stayed together for 1 more year, nearly 5 times a week locking her bedroom door behind us, and spending hours with foreplay, and giving her orgasms with oral sex. At the height of our passion during these sessions, which was intense and most certainly would have lead to amazing sex, I my sexual urges and instincts would take over and I would penetrate her with confidence! still, after a few moments and familiar leaking sensation, the classic dissemblance of disappointment on her face told me that my continuing was futile. I never took this out on her directly, but I began manifesting my frustrations with moods and attitudes and jealousy. She tried so so so hard and intelligently and lovingly to make it work, in and out of the bedroom, she eventually began to concede to the problem. She started seeing other people while we were still dating after a year and a half, and that was the only excuse I could use to walk away with some dignity. Eventually all my friends found out about my problem from her new boyfriend, and I was outcasted socially. I fell into deep depression and a vicious cycle of self medication.
At 23, I more or less recovered from my depression enough to want more out of my life. So i moved from my home town to Chicago where I had a large support system of extended family members who loved me. I got a job, started school, blah blah blah and, more pertinently, got to work on this issue. I discovered I have veinous leakage, caused by mild Peyronie's disease. Peyronie's disease clears up for most men leaving little or no permanent damage, but the restriction caused by the scar tissue development that accompanies Peyronie's stunted the growth of my right corpus cavernosa near the base of the head of my penis, Which makes proper outflow restriction and inflation of the penis impossible. In a normal erection, the level of blood pressure in the penis rises enough to restrict the outflowing capillaries. This is good, because if blood flow keeps supporting and rising, the blood pressure in the penis causes an erection becomes hard enough to withstand considerable pressure, including that of penetration. With my kind of ED, the level of blood pressure my penis can sustain untouched is very low. Any added pressure literally pushed the blood out of my penis, regardless of how much i enjoy it. It's a lot like a deflated balloon with a hole small enough that, as you first begin to fill the balloon with air, inflating the balloon before stretching occurs is possible but requires constant filling. What's more, once the balloon fills up to the point where actual air pressure builds along the inside of the balloon (when the balloon actually begins to stretch), there is more pressure to push air through the hole, so the balloon leaks quickly until there is no imbalance of air pressure between inside and out. It didn't make all these years of pain any less painful to learn a more nomenclatural understanding of what I had understood all along, and it still doesn't help. I know I'm a good looking, educated, intelligent, fit, sexy, charming, naturally flirtatious individual, but I cannot engage in any relationship and I'm still dealing with the same drama and issues that arise from hiding this issue. So, hopefully surgery is an option for me, but I haven't yet consulted a surgeon.
This can be a serious issue! I have experienced ED before but never to this extent and for so long. I had my problem checked and it turns out to be hormonal imbalance - I have no idea if you have the same problem but I would definitely recommend seeing a GP about it. Try to find a sexual health clinic rather than a normal GP so you can get screened and tested on the same day.